This question go's to all the married women out there.?

Question

What would you say or do?
If your sitting if front of your computer checking your mailbox when all of a sudden your husband or eight years tell you:
(With all your respect but I've just seen moments ago over the internet the most damn good looking woman ever I've ever seen.


Ok I don't know if maybe I'm over reacting but I felt disrespected and very hurt. I don't know if it was the way that he said or the fact that I thought I was that woman in his eyes.
But girls I don't feel the same ever he told me those words.
Something ain't right anymore between us and I don't know if I'm over reacting but this is how I feel.

Can some of you married women out there give me your opinion. What do you think? How would you react? And what would you do? Thanks.

Answer 1

Some women are gorgeous to virtually all beholders, and to deny that fact is ludicrous; however, it was insensitive of him to say that she was the most beautiful woman.

Perhaps he feels so secure in his relationship with you that he didn't give the comment a second thought. Husbands can think other women are beautiful, but some realize that beauty is only skin deep. Your husband chose to marry you and has a history with you. He knows you inside and out, and he is still choosing to be with you. As long as he still gives you the kind of attention that is reasonable for a wife to expect, I wouldn't dwell on his remark. Chalk it up to his lack of awareness.

If he knows that he hurt your feelings, hopefully he will make an effort to reassure you that you are still the only beauty for him.

Answer 2

I really don't think it is a big deal. Unless he does it all the time. If this is the first time then no biggie. Sometimes I say to my husband "(so and so), he looks good". I don't think your husband meant to hurt you. I think he was just being a guy, you know, was not thinking. They never do. Here is how you can handle this. Since time has already passed and you have not address it with your husband, you have to do a "talk" now. Here is what you say " Honey, dear (what you call your husband) do you remember what you said the other day? (I can tell you now he does not remember) You said With all your respect but I've just seen moments ago over the internet the most damn good looking woman ever I've ever seen, well I really did not appreciate that. I feel disrespected and hurt because I thought I was that woman to you. How would you feel if I said the same thing" THE END. Discussion is over. If you go on, he will blank out and your "talk" will be a total waste. You made your point, don't wait or expect a reaction. You will feel better already. If he apologizes, say "apologize accepted" if he asks how he could do better, girl, you hit the jack pot. If he tries to justify it, simply stop him and say "I don't need an explanation, I don't need to hear it and I don't need to talk about it anymore." Dont let him make you feel worse.

Answer 3

Pour your hubby a glass of water---he may have trouble choking down his laces! There are some things that wives just DON'T want to hear, and that is certainly one of them! I completely understand why you're hurting over this---it would rattle me as well. YOU should be the most damn good looking woman he has ever seen, and you need to tell him that what he said hurt your feelings. You don't say "With all do respect" and then follow it up with something completely disrespectful! He didn't think before he spoke, and I would make him eat those words and let him know that he planted a seed of doubt in your mind. Groveling is in order here---bigtime!

Answer 4

okay. Yes, I would be hurt. How disrespectful. I went through the same type of think with my husband looking at other women. It ALMOST caused us to get a divorce. My husband was always giving attention to other women and never gave me any compliments.

You need to let him know how you feel about him looking at other women and especially commenting to you about it. Don't let him play down your emotions. You have a right to be mad. We are emotional creatures. Check your history on the computer and see if he has been looking at porn. If so, you have a problem. Maybe you should consider counseling.

I do know from experience, though, when a man is like that it is hard for them to change.

Good luck and feel free to email me if you need to talk in private. Liz

Answer 5

I would say stop being so whiny and be a bit more realistic.

You are his wife. He married you because he thought you were attractive, compatible with him, and because he has a deep emotional attraction to you.

However, there are many, many, many women out there in the world who are more beautiful that you are. Just as there are many, many, many more men out there who are more attractive than he is.

He saw an outstandingly beautiful woman and wanted to share his thoughts with you, his friend, lover and partner. His reward for actually being honest with you? Nothing good.

I complain when my husband DOESN'T tell me things like this. I want to know him and I want him to feel comfortable being open and honest with me. Apparently, I am in the minority, because a lot of women come here and ask the same type of question.

And, much as I try, I can't seem to understand how being open and honest about sexual attractions or just simply admiring a woman is disrespectful to the wife. I feel more disrespected when my husband conceals things from me.

Answer 6

I feel for you. Yes, it's definitely insensitive for your husband to share something like that with you as his wife.

My husband tells me I'm beautiful every single day. We've been together 7 years and I still catch him staring at me. I live in California, and I see a lot of rock bodies and sexy women all the time. I definitely don't compare to them. But my husband always makes me feel like I'm the prettiest girl he's ever seen. He says he prefers me without makeup. And even when my hair is a mess, he tells me how great I look. I'm not sure what to tell you. I guess don't take it too personal. I don't think he's trying to hurt your feelings. I think he figures he can tell you anything, so he did.

Answer 7

I would definitely be hurt. I know there are better looking women out there, buy your husband is supposed to think (or at least pretend) that you are the most beautiful woman in the universe. For him to say that to your face is disrespectful and rude. he definitely deserves an earful, or a slap!

Answer 8

If my husband said that to me, we'd DEFINITELY be arguing right now. That is utterly disrespectful of him.

It just goes to show he doesn't care about your feelings, and thats a huge problem. I dont think you're over reacting at all, I'd be hurt and feel disrespected too. I don't know of any woman who really loves her husband, that would be jumping for joy to find that the man she loves doesn't give two shi%s about her.

I suggest you sit down and talk with him about this. I would definitely talk to my husband and try to find out what the hell would possess him to say something like that to me? Even if he really thought it, why would he say it? Didnt he think it would hurt me? Did he even care how that would make me feel, telling me, his wife, he saw the most beautiful woman ever and that woman wasn't me?

Definitely take a moment to embrace your feelings, then dig into his AS$. That is what I would do. My hubby would be workin his way out of this hole for weeks.

Answer 9

Well I would tell him how you feel. Get it all out. But get over it as quickly as possible. Men can say stupid things sometimes, just like women can. But since you are upset then you should talk to him about it...it will make you feel better. Rather than holding it all in.

Me personally I'd blow it off. and say yeah and you should see all the hunky beefcakes on there too. Enough to make a woman drool. LOL. Seriously men have eyes and they see beautiful women. At least he's not hiding anything. He said what he thought right out in the open. Yeah maybe he shouldn't have said it but if that is all he did and does in the future then you really should not worry about it.

Answer 10

I don't think you were overreacting only because you're allowed to feel what you feel. But I don't think he said it in a way that he meant to hurt you. I think you should let him know that it hurt you so much, and hopefully he won't do it again.

I'm a realist--I know I'm not the most beautiful woman that my husband has ever seen in his life. He loves me, he thinks I'm beautiful...but I'm not a Super Model. To know that he loves me means that I'm the most beautiful woman that he's ever loved...but it doesn't mean that I'm the only one out there that he's going to look out. Rule of thumb--he just doesn't say it in front of me just like I don't ever bring up the good-looking men that I see on a daily basis.