My fiance and I have been together for quite a while. We were using condoms for a while until we pushed other situations out of the way that gave us the decision not to use them anymore. Nothing bad. He's mentioned to me he doesn't want more kiddos (he's already got a 12 year old son) and I wouldn't mind kids, and even if we don't have one I'm still content. My point is he doesn't want me on birth control of any kind yet we're on the "pull and pray" method. He's said if I get prego then we'll be responsible and be parents. He's not too worried about things but I'm curiuos what the hell is going through his head and why a man would not want his girl on b/c if he doesn't want more kids. Sure I understand feeling and all but still. Need a lil' advice / help on this.
2007-11-27 02:26:16 · 27 answers · asked by Nichole W 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Ok... he doesn't want me on BC because he doesn't want it to harm my body. (long story his ex wife). I think honestly he wants another child because I've stopped asking him about this and he admitted "if it happens then fine we'll be parents and responsible about it." He does know about sexual reproduction he's 38 and been married before as have I.
2007-11-27 02:34:36 · update #1
Honestly I think he's trying to pull the wool over your eyes. I think he does want more kids, if he honestly is in love with you then he does want one. I just think he is putting something over for you because he wants kids, but doesn't feel like he can tell you for some reason. I would talk to him about it since you are confused. Tell him if he honestly does not want kids then why not go on an IUD or even the Mirena methods. It keeps you sterile for up to 5yrs without having to worry about pregnancy. I've heard nothing but good things. And it's not like he'd have to see you take a pill or patch or ring every week, month, every couple of months. I know that I'm going to get on the Mirena after I have this child. My husband and I are content that I am pregnant, but weren't quite expecting this child so soon in our marriage. The pull & pray method isn't reliable thats why I'm wondering if he does want to get you pregnant without actually having to say it. As you said yourself, he said you two would be great parents. Yet he's telling you not to get on anything to prevent it? Hope that helps. Good Luck!
2007-11-27 02:40:56 · answer #1 · answered by Mum of 2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband didn't want me to go on birth control either. This is my opinion about it. His ex wife cheated and got pregnant by another man. I think the way my husband may view it is if I'm on birth control I could cheat and not worry about pregnancy. Not that I would cheat but like I said that is my view on it.
As far as the other situation for you pull and pray isn't a great form of birth control. He says he doesn't want more kids but if you get pregnant he will be responsible. What happens if he flips flops on that? It is up to you both to figure out something but you might want to either get on something or make sure he really wouldn't mind having another child.
Good luck.
2007-11-27 10:35:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That doesn't make any sense. If he doesn't want any more kids then you two should use some form of birth control, if he doesn't want to use condoms there are sooooo many other methods - pills, shots, diaphragms, etc. And the "pull & pray" method isn't very effective, that's how my sister got pregnant. I think you should sit down with him and have a serious talk, either to be responsible and use contraception or to plan for a family. Good luck...
2007-11-27 10:29:53 · answer #3 · answered by jatay 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh My! It's time for a serious talk with him. You need to get this cleared up before you go any further with the wedding plans! His statements are very very conflicting! First, It is your body and if you choose to use birthcontrol that is your right as a woman (married or not)! Second - are you sure he understands that it only takes 1 - just 1- sperm to get you pregnant? Third - are you 100% sure that you do not want to experience holding your own child? I'm reading your statement that you really would like to have a baby that you and he created out of love.
I don't want to sound pushy but are you sure that you want to marry a man that wants to control you and plays these mind games? Guys like this only get worse after the wedding. (Speaking from experience)
2007-11-27 10:44:49 · answer #4 · answered by TupperMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He really does want more kids, but feels it's irresponsible to 'plan' one in his current situation. I'm 100% certain I'm right b/c my boyfriend and I were the EXACT same way, and we now have a 3 month old son :) It'll all work out. He needs to feel like it's an 'accident' that you get pregnant. If you do get pregnant, he'll likely want you to tell everyone that you were on birth control when you got pregnant. Good luck! :)
2007-11-27 10:34:23 · answer #5 · answered by Paranormal Investigator in Ohio 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It means he can't accept the responsibility of saying lets have a baby. That he would like to use the pull out method and pray that it works. It doesn't. You will most likely become pregnant. Or he has had a vasectomy and for some dumb guy reason he doesn't want to tell you.
Best of luck!!!
2007-11-27 10:31:04 · answer #6 · answered by wait and see 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That method is twice failed for me im affraid. If you are not using contraception you will get pregnant without a double. If kids are not a prob for you, you need to warn him that if he doesn't want more kids he should get the snip- sounds to me like he does tho but maybe doesn't know how to bring about the conversation? Talk to him- have some babies, go on!! xx
2007-11-27 10:30:45 · answer #7 · answered by Banny Grasher 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure how your fiance is as a person, but some guys can be controlling. This may be one of his ways of controlling you. Also it could be a trust issue, he may not want you on b/c because he fears that you may go out and mess around on him. I've read that this can be a sign of mental abuse maybe not now but to come. Just be careful and make sure that his reasoning about you not going on the pill is one that makes sense to YOU it's YOUR body!!!! Good Luck!!!!!
2007-11-27 10:37:50 · answer #8 · answered by ON FIRE 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That doesn't even make sense. He doesn't want kids, but he doesn't want to use birth control.Obviously, it is just a matter of time before you get pregnant on the "pull and pray" method.Ask him, what the heck is he thinking!
2007-11-27 10:30:22 · answer #9 · answered by Harley Lady 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Okay either this guy doesn't know anything about sexual reproduction or else he really does want another kid. That is a sure fire way to get knocked up pretty quick.
2007-11-27 10:32:44 · answer #10 · answered by ☆ღWifey Wifeyღ☆ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋