I have a 9 year old daughter with a man that I was never married to. He was 21 and I was 17 when I got pregnant. He moved to the state that I was in 3 days before she was born. When she was 5 months old he moved on and married another woman. For the first 3 years of her life he barely paid child support or visited with her. Since then he has become a good dad, but we have NEVER had a custody or child support agreement. Now I want to move back to my home state. Can I legally move with her? Could he charge me with kidnapping if I take her with me? He has told me he is getting a lawyer. What are the chances that I could lose her in court? I really need to make this move to get my life back on track, but I am scared to death of losing my little girl..... Any help would be great!
2007-11-27 02:10:44 · 16 answers · asked by Chrissy M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Best to consult an attorney as laws can vary by state.
If there is no agreement and no pending custody action you can leave. Once he files you are probably not going to be able to leave. If you have told him you are leaving he can probably get an emergency hearing in a few days or week and they will immediately issue a temporary order which will bar you from leaving with daughter. Once there is an order you will have to petition the court to leave the state. For a woman that has been primary who can prove she is moving to a better situation (economics family support etc.) the courts generally grant this although they will likely require a visitation schedule with significant holiday and vacation time with dad. If they think you are doing this only to get her away from the father then they may say you can leave but you can't take the daughter (this is pretty rare -- needs to be a big track record of you interfering in him developing a relationship with daughter)
I don't know your whole situation but if he is being a good dad it is not in your daughter's best interest to leave and limit contact. Is there any way the two of you can work out a scheddule with vacations and summer time so that he is still significantly involved and you get to move (as said above after a lot of gyrations, money, and time this is probably where the court is going to end up anyways).
Tough issue, good luck, keep your daughter's best interest at heart and you will not go wrong.
2007-11-27 02:26:28 · answer #1 · answered by George 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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RE:
Can I legally move out of state with my child if there is no custody agreement?
I have a 9 year old daughter with a man that I was never married to. He was 21 and I was 17 when I got pregnant. He moved to the state that I was in 3 days before she was born. When she was 5 months old he moved on and married another woman. For the first 3 years of her life he barely paid...
2015-08-07 02:01:42 · answer #2 · answered by Hatty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am assuming here that you guys have everything where he is legally her father: birth certificate, paternity papers etc. Also I am assuming with my answer he pays child support, which is pretty much both of you acknowledging he is her father.
No,you cannot. I was single when my daughter was born, and we did all the stuff that makes him her father. However, we never did any sort of legal custody or child support paperwork. I was told (by people who consulted lawyers) that this means we technically had equal custody, similar to married parents. Even though she lived with me and I paid all her expenses outside of the child support, she was equally ours custody wise.
OK, so you can't move a child out of state or take her out of the country without the permission of the other parent. In addition, even if you have custody, you usually can't do that alone either.
If he has no legal connection, he can still get a lawyer, file for a paternity, and then try and get legal custody or prevent you from leaving.
What you need to do is either find a way to work it out with him that is acceptable to you both or get a lawyer and fight it out in court.
2007-11-27 02:19:33 · answer #3 · answered by SS109 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a lawyer. But, I would think you could move. What's on the child's birth certificate as her custodial parent(s)?
The most important thing that you have to think of is the child. I know you want to move. But, what will the child want? Will she want to be away from her dad? How will that impact her? I'm Divorced and am have sole custody of three kids. I've been wanting to move too. But, I know that the kids would miss their mom (and vice versa). So, I've decided to stay where I'm at until they are at least out of high school (they're only 5, 7 and 8). It's a tough decision. But, afterall, my commitment is for my kid's well-being...not my own. That's the responsibility that I signed-up for when I had kids.
2007-11-27 02:20:09 · answer #4 · answered by yp_Michael_Sonoma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't move without getting permission from the court. In most states if you leave the state without the father's permission you will be charged with kidnapping and could possibly lose custody of your child. even if there isnt a custody agreement. Courts are very pro-father these days and if he is getting a lawyer over it you should get a lawyer too.
Don't do it!
Good luck!
2007-11-27 02:16:00 · answer #5 · answered by Leizl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing you need to do is talk to a lawyer. A lawyer can tell you exactly what the laws are in your state and what your rights are. I think that one of the first things that a lawyer will ask you is "has it been proven that he is the father, or did you name him as the father on her birth certificate". I would ask a lawyer what his rights are to her. If he hasn't been proven to be the father, by blood/DNA testing, he may not be able to do anything until he has this testing done since you don't have a legal agreement about her.
Talk to a lawyer, you said that he is going to. You need to know the laws about this. You need to know what you can and can't do, as well as, what he can and can't do. And, if you can move back home, go to a lawyer there to find out the laws about this.
2007-11-27 02:39:45 · answer #6 · answered by grahod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your states in question but when I went through something similar in California. I called the police station and asked questions they told me if we were never married to just give him a phone number and address where he could reach me and then I could move.He did threaten having me arrested if I moved or suing me for custody but he did neither after the fact.This was 10 years ago so if I were you I would just call your local police dept. and ask some questions,they are usually very helpful.Also if he is a good Dad just make every effort to keep them in each others lives with visits(share cost with him for travel expenses)keep good communication after you move,it will be best for your child whom I am sure you both love very much and want the best for.Oh yeah I almost forgot they said before custody could be filed for paternity had to be established, regardless if his name was on the birth cert. or not. Even if both parties agreed to paternity it still needed to be established in court which is just going to court and both parties agreeing in person under oath.Until then he had no legal rights in California(10 years ago)Good Luck !
2007-11-27 02:18:59 · answer #7 · answered by mari B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you can move out of state b/c you guys do not have a custody agreement. You should be able to call a law firm in your area and ask them.
2007-11-27 02:18:20 · answer #8 · answered by Grimey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on what state you live in,.... you need really to talk to someone in the legal dept. Maybe call the court house in the state you live in right now, there's public defenders who will answer these types of questions they might be able to give you some free advice.
2007-11-27 02:17:58 · answer #9 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order to have any say in your kid's location, he'll have to achieve at least some form of custody.
He'll need to make that petition in whatever state you and the kid end up in. I suggest you get there before he has any sort of authority.
2007-11-27 02:15:02 · answer #10 · answered by Elana 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋