Should I get married?

Question

I am suppose to get married in less than a year but I am not sure that I should. I think I just need to shack up for the rest of my life with my partner. I don't want to think that I am settling but it seems that way. I often feel limited because I have to consider him. We never think alike and often don't have the same goals.

Answer 1

If you really love him, you should want to marry him. If you don't feel like marryin him,,,then,,you should not yet

Answer 2

There must be something there if you are still with him even though you don't think alike and haven't got the same goals. If that "something" doesn't outweigh the "negatives" you perceive, then you are doing yourself and him a disservice by continuing in the relationship, either living together or marrying.

Marriage and relationships are about compromises, but, if you are going to lose an essential part of you, that is a different thing. Maybe you need to take some time to really think through what you actually want from a relationship. If you can find a way of getting those things from your current relationship, good, if you can't, then maybe you need to consider moving on.

Answer 3

I have lived with my bf for 13 years. We keep our money seperate. Split the house payment and the bills down the middle. I like the feeling that I can leave whenever I want and that I am still independant. If your not sure about the marriage thing then talk to your bf and let him know.
I once read about living together ....
" he is with me because he wants to be, not because of a piece of paper telling him to be"

Answer 4

Not only are you not ready to get married, you sound supremely mismatched. I don't blame you for haveing second thoughts I think you need to call this off ASAP.

Shacking up is a bad idea especially once you have kids, just ask a woman with kids and a boyfriend, no ring.

Answer 5

If you aren't ready..DO NOT DO IT!! I say that b/c I've been there, and I did and now there are so many problems!! Give it more time and with time, there may be change either positive or negative. I just advise you to wait. I thought I was settling and sometimes I think I did. You deserve to be happy.

Answer 6

if you love him there are many things that you guys can work through. you owe it to yourself to be more then just a girl to shack up with. if your feelings of uncertainty are very strong then maybe he is not the one you should marry or maybe you are just not ready. what ever the decision best of luck and make your decision from the heart.

Answer 7

Be sure it is what you really want before you get married. If you are doubting it, maybe he is too. Talk to him. It doesn't mean that you have to break up, maybe you just need more time to be sure. Do you really want to go through with a wedding that you don't really want only to be in court filing for divorce?

Answer 8

It sounds like you are not ready to even be in a relationship with this person. Marriage and relationships are about compromise. If you have nothing in common and feel like you are settling, leave the relationship. It is unfair to both of you.

Answer 9

If you get married you need to familiarize your self with certain words:

Sharing
Patients
Giving
Compromising

And the list goes on............. You need to be compatible in every area, and starting out with not seeing eye to eye and having diff goals is a sure recipe for blunder.

Answer 10

If you don't have the same life goals, you won't be happy married. From what you've written here, I would say you should NOT get married. Good luck! :)

Answer 11

If you are not sure then don't get married. It is as simple as that....you don't sound ready to marry this guy so don't. You would be making a big mistake to go through with it.