Hi I am 41. I moved to my husbands country 18 yrs ago and have lived in depression ever since. Before I moved here I was a bit scared whether I liked it there, my husband said we would move back if I didn't like it here well 18 yrs later...I have also been very unhappy in my marriage.
I read self help book, I try to have hobbies. I try to go out when everyone's schedule lets me etc..but I just feel that I am just filling in time not living. I spoke to a therapist who said to divorce. My husband has done a couple of things which has caused my depression to get worse; i found him talking on line about BDSM and then getting me to do some of the acts I can't forget it that was over 3 yrs ago.
People say you can live anywhere and be happy and being with a man won't make you happy. Does that mean you can live with any man why then am I unhappy. What can I do to become happy again I really need help.
2007-11-27 00:10:40 · 4 answers · asked by tp 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have 2 children 10 & 13 and have not been working since they have been born. So I have no career to fall back on.
2007-11-27 00:40:37 · update #1
Think what they mean is that a man will not 'make you' happy; it is within yourself that you must first find the happiness. You do not need a man, it is a choice to be with someone.
I think you have not been happy in your relationship for some time and living with this man and in your surroundings is causing you much depression. Better to leave than to have another 18 years of depression; you must do this for yourself and your survival.
I did not see any mention of love in your post; that in itself speaks a millenium. You sound resentful of husband not following through in moving when you were unhappy. Get out by yourself, see if this helps.
2007-11-27 00:33:09 · answer #1 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One common symptoms of clinical depression is not being able to understand why you're depressed. You say you've been unhappy in your marriage, but you don't say why, except for one brief dabbling in BDSM over the course of 18 years.
You also seem to imply that you dislike the country where you are now living. Again, however, you don't say why. Perhaps you never learned the language well enough, or immersed yourself in its culture.
I think the problem may be that you have depression that needs to be treated with antidepressant medication. They really do work, and they have few side effects. You'll need to see a physician in order to obtain a prescription.
2007-11-27 08:36:22 · answer #2 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have tried to help yourself with the self help book and getting the hobby, plus seeing the therapist, so if the therapist thinks you need the divorce you should get that and move back to your home country, or move to your home country to see if he loves you enough to move back there with you, and then get the divorce. If you haven't liked it for the 18 years you have tried long enough and it is time to work on your own happiness now. Good Luck to you.
2007-11-27 08:31:50 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow the advice of the therapist and get a divorce.
2007-11-27 08:22:05 · answer #4 · answered by Brittney 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋