A Poem - Magnetism - Comments?

Question

White shirt, gray buttons absent
dusty jeans, worn boots broken
swagger, entering barroom

shotgun rests, short arm's distance
fingers hitched, belt buckle yields
buckskin brown, mane black, waiting

fast horse, sung proudly aloud
battered medals, feathers fly
noble warrior, epic.

Third, where is the negativity? You either don't get the poem, or I'm not communicating it well enough for you.

Michael P, this was written for my Indian friend. He loved it. And yes, he refers to himself as an Indian. It was a tribute. He is a hero. And I am hoping the ladies in particular were moved and enjoyed certain passages!

We share similar experiences with WWII. I also, have no family left in Poland, Austria-Germany, and Rumania.

Garwy, and you would look mighty fine in that shirt! ;-)

Answer 1

It does transcend the different eras. I like the way that it could be a horse or a Harley tied up out back. I struggled with 'shotgun' a little...a more modern weapon of choice. Overall, it is a very good poetic expression. The images are clear and the emotion is one of quiet caution. Lovely. You get a star and a piece of fried chicken...been in the warmer a while. I was 16 in 1972.

Answer 2

I like to read a poem two or three times so I can get a feel for it, I don't see negativity. At first glance, I am thinking cowboy and was thrown by the the noble warrior BUT in the second reading, this is a great tribute to the first Americans. Well written and great imagery. I agree that quality is better than quantity. Well done, keep up the good work!

Answer 3

Honestly, it is somewhat a big contrast from the the first two paragraphs from the last. Although i see what you are driving but can hardly connect why despite of the negatives there is a noble warrior in the end. It would have been a desperate warrior after all.

Thanks for asking comments. Have a great day!

Thanks Marguerite for the message you sent. Indeed i was not able to connect but after reading the message. It was indeed an excellent one. Am just being honest as from what i perceived.

Answer 4

The poem is very nice.
But what does it mean?

An Indian Warrior brazenly buying booze at gunpoint?

Have you heard of the "Indian List" prohabition of giving alcohol to Indians in America?

Words can be ambiguous.
Poetry even more so.

Did you stop and think about the connection between white nation building in an Indian "non-nation", in America, reflected against the Israeli nation building, in an Arab "non-nation" in the Holy Land?

This is the SIXTIETH anniversary of the United Nations post-WWII vote to create a Jewish homeland in Israel.

This is on my mind because my Jewish grandparents were robed and murdered by German invaders to Poland, along with millions of other Jews, in an evil ethnic cleansing holocaust!

I also married a woman whose mom was a full blooded Canadian Indian. In fact the daughter of the chief of the Moraviantown Indian Reserve.

In a world of racist murderous hatred, my marriage was as radical as my Polish Jewish orphaned mother marrying an Eastern Orthodox Catholic refugee from Ukrania.

The back ground of that decision was human kindness, to prevent the last 60 years of "Arab vs white" COLD WAR!!!

The decision to create Israel was arguably fair, but Arabs do not hear you when you say that!

Maybe American Indians don't hear the words of well meaning white usurpers either.

It was understandable that the UN would bend over backwards for the re-creation of Israel, after millions of Jews had been murdered in Europe in the previous decade.

The Jewish genocide is at least partly because they had no homeland for 2000 years, since the Arabs wiped Israel out.

The dream of an Indian nation (Micigan) died during the War of 1812, with the death of the great chief Tecumseh, at Moraviantown in Ontario.

Tecumseh & the "British" Canadians had conquered Detroit, Michigan; but were driven back into Ontario, by a future US president.

The Indians had sided with Canada (Britain) against the American invaders, with a promise of an Indian nation in Michigan that was, of course, NOT part of the peace treaty.

Answer 5

One of the criteria I use to judge poetry is the economy of words. By that standard this an excellent poem! Not a single word is wasted! Also the imagery is great! Do you have a web page with more such works?

Answer 6

I see a battered soldier back from the jungle!

The poem is written anidst gasp, I think it lends more credence to its topic. - magnetism.
The writer gasps as e describes the object of her admiration.

but still I can't help but think that something is amiss here.
Maybe its because the poem ended abruptly without a warning.
Keep it up Maguerite!

Answer 7

Wow beautiful poem as you described the clothing down to the worn boots.I almost feel as i could shake your warriors hand which you told of in every detail...Nice work.,

Answer 8

I see a cowboy or frontiersman, although he is not clear. I like the images but the connections are weak.

Answer 9

I think that this poem is really very complicated to understand and it cannot be called a poem............It seems u have written an essay describing a solidier...........

Answer 10

i would definitely buy a white shirt which was advertised this way.