i was raped and i need advice.........?

Question

i started dating this guy who is 17 and im 15. anyway we were at a party when he got really drunk and started asking for sex. i said no and walked off to find a friend because he was off his face. i walked around the corner to go find her and then i was shoved from behind into a door and then into a room. my bf grabbed me and pushed me onto the ground (it really hurt and he is like heaps taller and stronger) anywway i dnt want to go into detail but he raped me and now im pregnant.
i dont want to take a human life but i also dont want anything to do with him because he hurt me so much.........i really need advice on how to tell my parents to......i told them the bruises were because i accidentally fell over at the party because im too embarrased to tell them.

Answer 1

A pregancy is evidence.

You may want to press charges, its a long process, but it does give justice where justice is deserved.

Tell your parents, make sure they know its rape. It will all come out in the end, and you will feel so much better for having the support.

I too was raped and I conceivd at the age of 14. I didn't tell anybody, although I wish I had. Life owuld have been so much easier.

Right now you'll be feeling hurt, confused and most of all, frightened.

Your ashamed, even thjough its not your fault. Its a topic that most of us wouldn't dare discuss with out parents.

If oyu have a close friend, you could have her come with you to talk to them. Or, you could write them a letter.

Sometimes the easiest way is coming straught out with it.

Soemthing like "Mom, Dad, you asked about the bruises, and I lied to you. I didn't fall over at the party. My bf was drunk, and was pushing for sex (or pushing you to "do it", if tis easier not to say sex)
So he forced me to..and it got me pregnant."

Its important to have some back-up if you need it. Did any of your friends know about it? Have you spoken to him since (has he tried to contact you).

I'm sorry it happened, but its not something that can be helpoed. You can only look forward, don't let this pull you down, but be built up from it. Its hard, but you are a brave young woman and with the support you will need from your parents, its a battle you can fight.

Even if you don't press charges, DNA tests will proove he is the father (and you CAN force him to have them if you decide to keep the baby and he won't pay child support)

You can be strong. Tell your parents and do whatever you have to.

:)

-Treemeadow

Answer 2

First off, I am so sorry this happened to you, I was raped to, I know how you feel. But please don't be embarrassed. Rape is not your fault. It is NEVER the victim's fault. As for telling your parents, find a time when they're not busy, and sit down with them. Tell them you need to talk, and just come right out and say it. "I was raped by my ex-boyfriend a while ago, and I'm pregnant." It will, quite honestly, be one of the most difficult moments of your life so far, but your parents won't be angry with you, they only want to help you. If you think it would help, bring along a close friend that you can trust when you're telling you parents.

I'm glad to see that you don't want an abortion, I think women should have the right to choose, but I don't think it's that great of an option. If you think that you're financially and emotionally capable and have your parents' support, you may want to consider keeping your child. This option does not mean that you have to see the father, if you tell the police what happened and report him, he'll be in jail and will be completely out of your child's life, as it should be. If you really don't think you're capable of raising the child, whether because of bad memories or other things, I would encourage you to look into adoption. At least that way your child could have a loving home. Good luck sweetie, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Stay strong, and always remember, it wasn't your fault.

Answer 3

Many victims of rape feel ashamed or guilty, as if they had done something wrong. It is very important to remember that no one, under any circumstances has the right to touch you in a way you don't want them to. He is the one that should be embarrassed! If your only concern in telling your parents is embarrassment (and not that you feel it would be unsafe to do so), then the best strategy is to talk to the parent you feel most comfortable with first, and then, if you want, you can tell the other parent together. It is best to start the conversation by stating that you have to talk to your parent about something important, explain that the story about the bruises wasn't exactly what happed, but that you were so [upset/embarrassed/emotional] that you didn't really know how to talk about what did happen and then explain the situation to them. You really need the support of your family right now. Your other options include going to the police, calling a rape or teen issues hotline (they should be listed in the front of the phone book), talking to a school counselor or another relative that you trust.

Here is the number of the National Sexual Assault Hotline [phone].HOPE. Also, included a link to their website which has a lot of good information.

Please talk to someone. You don't have to and shouldn't try to go through this alone.

Jenise G., M.A. Children and Family Therapist

Answer 4

Do not be embarrassed. It was not your fault. You should not have lied. You need to tell them. Tell them that the bruises you had were not from falling. Tell them that they were because you were raped and that you are now pregnant. You should have called the police when this happened. This is not your fault and you need them to help you deal with it. If you think that you cannot take this pregnancy there is no shame in aborting a baby produced from rape. Do what is best for you and your peace of mind. Do not let anyone make up your mind for you. This is a lot for you to deal with on your own. Tell your parents as soon as possible. Good luck dear.

Answer 5

Dear Girl,

If you know you are pregnant it must have happened a while ago.
Pregnancy is something people are going to see. Ask your parents for help, they love you very much, they will give you the best advice, you did nothing wrong, they will help you make the best decision you can make.
It is a tough decision, very tough, but you need to get help.
If you can't talk to them now, tell your mum you are sick and go to see your doctor and ask him to help you.
or go to school to talk with the school councilor, they will keep your privacy.
you shouldn't' go through this by yourself, there is no need, I'm sure there is a lot of support around you, just ask for it.
Do something, don't' wait, they will see it in no time.

May the force be with you
Ronit

http://www.ronitbaras.com

Answer 6

If i was you i would have told my parents from the get go. You shouldnt have to keep things like that away from your parents. You should tell them. They'll help you threw this tough time. They might even give you options to do with your baby. Just dont get an abortion. Maybe put your baby up for adoption. Its not the babys fault that his father is an ass. Once you tell your parents you feel much better. Ive never been raped. But i had friends who have been:-( Its a messed up thing. But it happens. You shouldnt be embarrass. Nothing was your fault. Tell your parents and then they take you to the police press charges against him. Dont be afraid. Be one of those stong girls that actually tell on their rapist. So they wont do it to another girl.

Answer 7

Try something like " Mom, Dad I have something to tell you. I was to embarrassed to admit it when it happened but I was rapped. (you don't even have to say who it was until they ask) I'm pregnant. I'm so scared and confused. I need your help." You could even sit down in front of them and hand them a note, but don't go anywhere because They'll ask questions. And they may even want to turn this guy in. . . . let them. What he did was wrong! He deserves to be punished. I'm sure you and your family will talk about abortion, adoption and keeping it. Remember ultimately it is your decision though don't let anyone pressure you. Remember that IF you decided you want it that You can do anything. Keep telling yourself "I can make it" I've been through a similar situation although I didn't become pregnant. Good Luck and if you need someone to talk to I'm here. :)

Answer 8

No matter how embarrassed you are you need to tell your parents you didn't ask for it and you need to be completely honest about the whole thing.....You need to say mom and dad so and so did this at a party and he was under The influence and i don't agree with taking a child's life but you haven't started your own life yet so that is ur decision on what to do with the baby. but the dude put him in jail regardless of him being your boo ex or current. go and get it soon.

Answer 9

Sweetheart don't be embarrassed! You did nothing wrong. Take things one step at a time . You need to tell your parents. They are going to be upset, but not for the reasons you think. Rape is a vicious crime and he took something from you that can never be replaced! Your faith in mankind. He needs help! Put him in jail where he can get it! I would like for you to seek some professional help yourself. You may not think you do , but this could haunt you a long time. You have support here,continue to talk ,it does help.

Answer 10

First and foremost, you need to have yourself examined for any sexually transmitted diseases. No matter how well you think you know somebody, we never really know what little secrets they may have.

Secondly, I would report this vile act to the authorities. Rape is a dispicable crime that must not be tolerated. I highly encourage you to take action quickly as time is of the essence when collecting evidence and building a case.

Third, I would encourage you to discuss this with your parents. You need all of the support you can get, and hopefully they can give you advise, as any parent should.

And finally, you should make the decision to keep or terminate the pregnancy yourself, not with the help of anyone else. Take your religious and moral beliefs into account and weigh them against your future and the future of your unborn child.

Best Wishes