If your married boyfriend is having problems with his wife at home. How long should you wait to call him.?

Question

I want to give him some space. I have learned if I step back a little his wife and he will grow apart. He will miss me and look at her faults more. I'm trying to learn the game he's unhappy but I can't push. I just need some pointers from you guys thanks.

Answer 1

This is a hard one, but one that I am no stranger too. First never bring his wife up or his situation at home. It shows you may be insecure, so focus on the both of you together. If he brings it up just listen don't comment, if he needs an excuse to leave let it be his own, you don't want him blaming you for future problems because he took you advise. When it comes to calling let him know when your available and find out from him when is it a good time for you to call, your showing that you want to be there but not be controlling. But for real, leave him alone. As long as your in the picture he'll ALWAYS be unsure of what he should have done, this way if he leaves it will be because he chose to and will value what you have even more.

Answer 2

"married" and "boyfriend" are two words that should never share the same sentence. Don't be a fool. Even if it does work out for you, and he stays with you, can you really be sure that he won't do the same to you when you take the place of his wife (in more ways than one)?
At the moment he has his cake - his marriage - and eating it too - you.
Never understood why a woman has so little respect for herself, to be put in that position.

**Annamika S, the home wrecker is the HUSBAND, he's the one choosing to cheat ands wreck HIS HOME! No one can make the committed partner cheat, they must be open to it in the first place!
Eric_the _red_101 - so in this case would it be the Husband getting the lashes, or do we always blame the woman?

Answer 3

Her faults??? What about your own, Lady? You're trying to break up a marriage between 2 people. You need to take a good long look at the type of person you are yourself !!! You are one underhanded..conniving person. You need pointers on how to be a better human being.....not pointers on how to interfer in people's lives.

Answer 4

Ive been in your situation. I believed he loved me with all his heart....I still believe I was right. He has had a terrible marriage for many many years. None of his friends or family know why hes stuck it out for so long. He wanted to leave and be with me, but he didnt have the balls to walk out. He was too set in his ways. He was too afraid to "start again" I kept on giving him time and yes, he would always miss me, and we would get back together again. He was giving me mixed messages, he was giving him wife mixed messages. For 4 years the relationship went on like this and I thought our love was getting deeper.........I needed an answer, and I wasnt prepared to listen to his exuses any more. I set a time and I asked him to give me an answer. He still couldnt give me an answer so I made his answer for him.....I walked away. Enough is enough, he either wanted to be with me or not. I needed to know where I stood and if we werent going to be together, then he had to let me go. For 4 years I was exclusive to him.....what a waste, I could have met a man in that time that was available. Think very carefully where you want your future to be. You can hang on and hope he leaves his wife, but time is moving on.....will you still be in this situation in another 2 years, maybe 3 years time. Its time you thought more of yourself and tell him that you will not wait around for him any longer and you need to move on and find a man who is not married and is able to give you a future. Even if he is really in love with you, like my lover was with me, there is no guarantee he will leave his wife. I was an idiot, I should never have become involved with him in the first place. I am now broken hearted, but I have to stick to my guns. I know he will ring me, but I refuse to be sucked back into the relationship we had before. He's got to stop sitting on the fence and make a decision. I would much prefer to grieve now, than continue for the next twelve months wondering. In twelve months time, I would have done my grieving and ready get back into life again. Twelve months will go by whether the two of you are together or not. I want a healthy relationship and so should you. Being involved with a married man is not healthy for anyone concerned....unless he plans to leave his wife for good.

Answer 5

Are you trying to be funny or are you just plain crazy?
Why don't you call his wife and ask her how to go about getting her husband away from her.I'm sure she will be more then happy to show you. What's wrong with women like you,do you like being second because that's all you are and every will be regardless if he leaves his wife or not. His wife will always come first in his heart.

Eric the - I agree with you whole heartily 100% something should be done to cheaters and the people they cheat with reguardless if they are married or not.The fact that they knowenly and willenly sleped with a married person is grounds for punishment in my book.

Answer 6

Sasha,
Unfortunately you seem to be scheming to snatch a guy from his wife. And he seems to be willing to undergo this. You dont do it. If he wants you, let him decide himself and come over. And better still, you should not do anything to affect a married relation. Somehow you seemed to have done that and you are equally responsible for the mess in his life now. Actually you should have asked advice before entertaining him. It was quite natural for him to look for happiness and comfort with some girl when he ws having an unhappy married life, and you seemed to have encouraged it. So, it is not good or morally correct for you to disappear and find a new man for you. But you should not complicate things. Dont detach from him b ecause *** you said then he would get more angry at his wife. If he really loves you, let him come back to you. Dont keep away also, because he may be emotionally depending on you as a friend at least. Be there for him as a friend. Let him see the things clearly and then decide on way or the other.
take care..

Answer 7

alright........ first of all you should look in the mirror and be ashamed of yourself. How do you know that you're the only one he's got on the side?? Ohhhh let me guess "cause he told you so hmmm" let me give you some insight "Once a cheating bastard always a cheating bastard" you're not his mistress you're his "excuse". You need to wake up and smell the coffee than go out there and find your own man. As for him seeing all "His WIFE's" faults..... thats what a marriage is all about sweetheart, lifes trials and tribulations, if he's hopeless enough to sleep with you his wife deserves to know what a dirtbag he really is, and since you seem to want her to know why don't you just be the A**HOLE and tell her! Get a life KID!

Answer 8

Run far away from this man. You are committing adultery with him. Why do you want his wife's seconds? His head must be so big he can hardly get through the revolving door between her bed and yours. Why do you want a man that has no integrity, cause if he is with you, he doesn't have any. He is a liar and very dishonest. His word is worthless. He has broken his marriage vows. What makes you think he will be faithful to you when he is cheating on his wife with you and cheating on you with his wife. He has no reason to leave his wife, he is getting the milk free from you. He is totally disrespecting you and his wife.

Find a single guy. Have some respect for your self.

Answer 9

I am in the Middle East working in support of the War and I was just reading a story this morning about a woman in Saudi Arabia that is going to get 200 lashes in the public square for having an "Improper Relationship with another man" while she was married.

They had not even had sex yet, but were planning it when it was discovered.

I am of the opinion that maybe America should do something similar to cheaters and the ones they cheat with.

We as a society rail against the idea of using stem cells for research that genuinely helps people but have no problem covering up and looking the other way on cheating and dozens of other moral dilemmas that happen everyday.

I weep for what our country has become.

Answer 10

What are you thinking? Why would you want a man that cheats on a woman he once loved enough to marry, to be by their side until death? If he does this to her he will do it to you. You aren't anymore special than she was when he proposed. You need to tell this so-called man to stay away from you. He you were special then why didn't he just leave his wife to be with you? Why he is going back and forth? Furthermore, there are two sides to each story, trust me, don't just go by his.