I have been acting like im 20 lately...getting drunk, not doing what i'm supposed to do...i even have a FWB type thing going on which is not like me. I'm nervous. I have a good job, i'm in grad school, I have big new responsibilities at work. I was married once before, that was over by 25...i just cant seem to get myself to grow up....i feel like i want to move away from everything and everyone. I have gone to therapy before. I dont know if i'm depressed...i'm just afriad my life will be like this forever. Everyone i know is getting married and having kids.
2007-11-26 16:37:18 · 27 answers · asked by Lilly d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes it is fun to revisit things in life, if you are not hurting anyone (that includes hurting yourself), then what is the problem.
Have some fun because you only live once and when you see your life flash before your eyes when you die, do you want to fall asleep because it was boring?
No you want laugh at the dumb crap you did and wince at the mistakes and know that it was a good life.
Who says you have to behave a certain way? Do what you want, the settling down will come one day when you are ready.
2007-11-26 16:44:25 · answer #1 · answered by eric_the_red_101 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It won't be forever! I feel like I'm just a few steps behind you. Only I haven't had any social interactions, although I wish I had that right now. You should feel lucky you have a second chance at feeling and being young again. I'm still married and while I'm married, the outside world is unknown to me. My party life was very short lived. I enjoyed it a great deal. I had to say goodbye to it all once I got pregnant. I married years later and now I find myself wishing I could've done more before settling down. Yes, kids are great and anyone who has children will say that kids change you and humble you and really open your eyes to wonderful things in life. But be grateful you can take your time and have no regrets. You'll find someone. You'll get your chance. You're still young and you shouldn't plan your life out. 29 is not old. When you reach your 30's you'll probably feel you're way behind the rest of the world. But be patient. We can't control our own destiny. When you least expect it, something great will happen. Enjoy what you have in the meantime.
2007-11-26 16:57:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am 35 and still not grown up either....all of my friends are married and have kids doing the whole family thing...granted in due time i do want those things....just not now...i almost made the mistake in my early 20's...if i had...i too would be divorced...i go out at least once a week to have a good time...a couple of drinks...i have a live in boyfriend...he has a kid....that is enough for me...to each their own....live your life as you choose...it is yours...and you only live it once...don't second guess yourself and read into it...you go because you choose to go...doesn't mean you are a drunk...or need therapy...it is what i call a social butterfly...i enjoy myself when i am there...and i am always responsible on how i get home...you are a smart woman...seem to have your head on straight....just because your friends are settling down doesn't mean you have to...remember you have been there and done that already....didn't work...you will know when it is right for you...as i will too...in fact i think they miss their old lives to a certain extent...i know they would never even think of what if i didn't have this child...it is a blessing...but i know they miss their freedom...so you continue to live your life...and have fun....do it while you can...!!!!!
2007-11-26 16:50:51 · answer #3 · answered by catskillflower 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The friends I had who did not get married and have kids are having the last laugh now we are all in our 40's. They are the ones who are way better off and made the better choice - although I do love my kids! Don't know what you mean by FWB type thing. Are you ready for the new responsibilities at work? Are you happy with the way your life is going or do you wish you were doing something else? I would suggest really finding out what would make you happy at this stage and work towards making it happen.
2007-11-26 16:43:55 · answer #4 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to grow up???? I am 50 and my wife says I still act like a big kid. The difference between 19 and 29 when you get drunk is making sure someone else is driving you home that you trust instead of thinking you can driver yourself. You get drunk on Friday/Saturday nights to sober up Sunday to go to work on Monday. The drunk is a subsitute for doing some other activity. You don't need to get married, you don't need to have kids, and you don't need to do anything just because other people tell you to. It is your life and just be careful in your actions.
2007-11-26 16:55:58 · answer #5 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone fears some for their future. And, if family and friends are getting married, don't let it make you rush into it. Love will come in time. You need to go off by yourself, and make up your mind what it is that you want today. Is a better job, more education, buy a house, etc. Plan out some things that are important in your life, and please take each day with steps, and don't be in a hurry! You are young and tomorrow will take care of itself.
2007-11-26 16:43:33 · answer #6 · answered by denise 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Could be a lot worse. I was 40 till I really grew up, but I still have my moments. It has been said that a man never really grows up. "A woman understands a child better than a man does, but man is more child-like than woman" (Nietzsche). At least you've come to a point of realization in your life that can bring positive change. I'll give you some credit for that. Only never lose contact with your sense of play and imagination. However determined you may be otherwise, those are two important virtues.
2007-11-26 16:47:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
What seems right for som1 may not be right for you.
You should give things time but let yourself be who you truely are.But in this case i think your afraid of getting old that everythings going to be over.but its not you get 2 have kids a wife(not some 18 year old marriage that will never work out)and you need to leave behind what your trying to relive.
But whenever you leave something behind there is something better waiting at the other end.(wow im an 11 year old boy and my advice PWNs!)
2007-11-26 17:17:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't go by what everyone else is doing. Don't feel so pressured to do what they do, but at the same time you can maybe take things a little bit easier. When we have many pressures in our lives, it's not difficult to understand why we would want to escape. However, if you take one thing at a time and just handle one thing every day of your life, then maybe you'll find yourself under much less pressure. When you think you have to accomplish EVERYTHING all at once, then it's impossible to go on living without the feeling of pressure on you.
2007-11-26 16:40:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You sound like you could be an alcoholic. Getting drunk not doing what you are supposed to do. Call Alcoholics Anonymous and ask them to direct you to the nearest meeting. It is free and they have the best help anywhere for you.
Alcoholic's grow physically, but not emotionally. So that may be your problem. It is worth investigating.
2007-11-26 18:00:09 · answer #10 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋