Please help! For the past couple (3) years my husband has only made love to me 6 times. I am not just saying that, it's the truth. I keep myself up and clean as a woman I feel like that's a must at all times, but that doesn't matter to him. He won't touch me. He tells me there is no one else and he still loves me. He's not empadent yet still won't touch me, tonight when he got home I had everything perfect for him, I done my hair the way he likes it had my make up on and the whole house lit with candels. I came to him and told him I need him to want me, his response was I do. Then just walked away, I tried to get him just to hold me or kiss me, nothing! I AM SO LONELY AND EMPTY INSIDE. I have told him this many times and we have talked about it but still nothing. Im so lonely and tired of crying myself to sleep most every night, can anybody out there help me? Tired of crying
2007-11-26 16:23:21 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he's not meeting your emotional / physical needs. I have no way of knowing if he Can't or he Won't.
I would suggest marital counseling to get him to open up and talk to someone -- maybe a therapist could help you two compromise emotionally and learn to develop more intimacy.
I am sorry you are hurting and wish you the best.
2007-11-26 16:28:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are in a tough situation and I cannot divine why he would be acting this way without risking making accusations of infidelity.
I can tell you what the possibilities are...
He might be experiencing some lack of libido(sex drive) due to stress from work or he might be going through some emotional block towards sex right now. I wonder how long you two have been married.
It sounds like he is suffering from clinical depression. That takes therapy and medication to cope with.
You guys need to find out what is going on and correct it. If you don't I guarantee you that the marriage will not last.
Get him into therapy.
Good luck
2007-11-26 16:31:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh, what a selfish >>>>, There probably is someone else, at work, he meets sometimes in his day, real, imaginary, online, his mind is somewhere else. I'd kick his butt, and tell him if that's all the fun he can give you, you are not going to spend the rest of your life lonely like this, seriously girl there are guys out there who want to meet your emotional and physical needs, not like this cheeseball, neither. Sometimes love isn't enough, how does he show that he loves you? If you feel lonlely and empty, he's not and you're meeting his needs, why are you suffering. I would have no tolerane for porn or online BS if you discover he isn't actually physically cheating, he's destroying you as a person by being selfish.
2007-11-26 16:34:54 · answer #3 · answered by mudpup 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him what he is doing is just not normal. Ask him if he would consider going to a doctor in order to save your marriage . Tell the ice man that you are going to find someplace else to stay until he wants to show you that he still loves you as a husband should a wife. And then follow through. Find a family member or a friend to stay with . This may get his attention. He probably needs a little blue pill. Slip one into his drink some nite and see what he does then!
Just kidding.
2007-11-26 16:38:18 · answer #4 · answered by purplewaterhorse 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
After trying to talk it out and let him know how you feel what more can you do? ..Nothing remember you can do bad all by yourself. Now maybe he caught a disease else where or he may be gay you never know the fact is your not happy and you shouldn't waste anymore time giving your all to someone who isn't valueing your worth now only as a woman but as his woman! Don't be like women I know and wait till your in your 40's to find the strength to be happy and fill fulfilled to fill wanted you know. It may hurt for a minute but after being in a relationship that has drained you and took away some of your confidence(I know it has) you need to first take out someone time to rebuild who your are before letting another man in your circle. Maybe the two you need to split for awhile so he can realize what he had. However staying in your current state hurting over someone not trying is not an option if you care about who your are.
2007-11-26 16:33:50 · answer #5 · answered by classymst08 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you need to stop feeling down and crying! what you need to do is get together with some of your girls and start getting out of the house. keep yourself looking good and start ignoring him and see if the tables turn a little. i want you to stay positive but if nothing improves you might want to seek counseling to see what the problem is. the only 2 things i would be thinking is there is another woman or another man.
2007-11-26 16:31:14 · answer #6 · answered by Star 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think what two of the men in the post are saying is right -- your husband is probably too stressed to make love. I faced it too at one time. Due to erratic work timings and pressure, my husband just thought I didn't exist.
However, men will not admit this. It is a big blow to their manhood. I don't know if your husband drinks but it will be worth taking him on a short vacation. Indulge yourselves with some wine. Put some sexy numbers he might like and see if that works. If not, I think you need to confront him with hard questions.
You have to shake them to make them admit to this.
Hope this helps.
2007-11-26 16:43:09 · answer #7 · answered by babasbhakta 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow. i feel so sorry for you :( i really don't understand why he wouldn't want to, especially if you are doing everything the way he likes it and he admits that he likes it. maybe he has personal mental issues or maybe he has performance anxiety. the only thing you can really do is communicate and tell him that it really upsets him and tell him how you both are together and should be comfortable after being married! communicate, and if nothing still changes, i would suggest marriage counseling or personal counseling for each of you, or maybe just for him. good luck!
2007-11-26 16:29:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he has no problems with sex and he is not cheating then he must be masturbating or something. Healthy men have to relieve themselves in order to produce more sperm. How old is he? It could be his age that is slowing him down. You have already talked to him and it sounds as though he is so clueless. Try talking to him when you are not in the mood and ask him why he is not wanting sex anymore.
2007-11-26 16:30:36 · answer #9 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go to counseling to someone you trust. Together if possible, alone if he won't come. Don't put much stock in advice from people here who barely know you, go to someone who will take the time to understand your situation and who (hopefully) has the expertise to help.
2007-11-26 16:45:34 · answer #10 · answered by Theoden 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋