hey I'm 17 and I found out my Girlfriend was pregnant a couple weeks ago. I've been freaking out and I don't know what I should do. I told my gf I think she should get an abortion and maybe in a couple years she can have a real baby, (shes 15) but her parents dont agree with that. I cant see myself as a father, how can I manipulate my girlfriend into having an abortion even if she doesn't really want it?
2007-11-26 15:03:08 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
=_= every action has an equivalent reaction...
think about this carefully. don't ask anybody from this place.
instead, ask yourself what you are going to do with it =_=...
then ask your parent what you should do about it =_=...
then ask your gf what you two should do about it =_=...
not b/c you impregnate her, that doesn't mean that you'll be the automatic father of the baby... there is a thin line b/w the biological father [sperm person] and the accustomed father [one who actually takes care of the baby and mommy].
of course, you should freak out. you're 17, probably no job and =_= also not doing good in school. yes, you should really freak out by now. after freaking out and regretting everything you did with your girlfriend, =_=... yes, i already told you my opinion about this... =_= the second paragraph...
believe me, even if she did have the baby, that doesn't mean you're already the "accustomed" father of the baby. you can always run away from this by "being a bad father and leave them behind after a year or two."
=_=... and also, even if she did have the baby abortion-ed, i don't think the two of you will still be "together" anyway. =_=...
like telling her, "abort the baby now, we'll have a baby in a few years" =_=... such words... such "INTIMACY" =_= you had with her will break whatever was built b/w you two =_=... oh yes, these are just opinions. =_= you can always ignore what I say coz it's too long. =_=...
Hope for the best, expect for the worst.
2007-11-26 15:21:35 · answer #1 · answered by Little_Sleepy 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Okay,
She is already pregnant and freaking out is not going to help. You need to move forward and figure out what you are going to do next.
Have you told your parents? You probably should because they may be able to give you some advice and just offer moral support---maybe, not everyone has great parents.
I am assuming from your post that her parents do know.
How does your GF feel about an abortion? I do not know the laws in your are so I don't know if she can get one w/o parental consent---and then there is the issue of $$ for it. Even if she can get one without consent, there is still the money issue.
If your GF does not want an abortion you should NOT try to manipulate her into getting one...that is just so wrong...now I'm wondering if this is even a real post. Anyway, it is ultimately her decision.
So, say she does not have an abortion...what are you going to do...you need to consider your options. Are you going to be a part of the baby's life? In some cases I have seen it really is best for the father to just step away. I know people are going to freak out about that and say you should step up an be responsible...but if you can't or won't be responsible then just get out of her life. She does not need someone harassing her. My point is, if you plan to "support" here then you need to be there for her 100% no back and forth crap. You know?
Below is a link to a really good site:
http://www.realalternatives.org/helping/supportingyourgirlfriend.htm
They even have a toll free number if you just need to talk to someone:
1-888-LIFE AID
It is FREE give them a call
I didn't mean to sound like suck a *itch up there! Don't manipulate!
Good luck!
2007-11-26 15:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't manipulate your girlfriend into getting an abortion. Your best bet is to just realize that you had some part in making this kid, and now it's your responsibility as well. If you don't want to be a father, in the hands on sense of the word, then you need to discuss things with your parents, and her parents like support and all that.
Welcome to the wonderful world of being an adult.
2007-11-26 16:04:10 · answer #3 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should manipulate anyone. You both made the mistake and you shouldn't be the one to make that decision. Its her body she should do what she wants even though you should give her advice. You knew what you were doing and take responsibility. I was 15 when i came out pregnant and i would have killed my boyfriend if he tried to manipulate no one into getting an abortion. Just sit down with her and talk about it. Its not as bad as you think. Trust me.
2007-11-26 15:52:51 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You cannot force her. I can't believe that you want ways to manipulate her. What is wrong with you? A real baby, what is this one? Well son you are going to be a father. Take responsibility for your actions and stop trying to pressure her. Abortion can have life long psychological effects on a woman.
2007-11-26 15:41:54 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's her choice.
Be there for her, no matter what, and let her know that you support whatever choice she makes. If she decides to keep the baby, then you'd better be there for her. You're the one you got yourself into this.
Make sure she knows that she shouldn't be pressured into keeping the baby because her parent want her too - it's the rest of her life, not theirs.
Maybe she could have the baby and give it up for adoption?
Don't pressure her into an abortion.
I don't think she should have and keep the baby at her age, especially since there are so many risks.....if she's a small girl, there's a chance that she might die while giving birth....
2007-11-26 15:27:39 · answer #6 · answered by Rose 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Guess what, sugar? You can't manipulate her. You had sex - therefore you need to take responsibility for your actions. If you don't think you're ready to be a dad, you shouldn't have had sex. I would recommend getting a job, going to the library and checking out some books on pregnancy and childbirth (What to Expect When You're Expecting is a good one) and seriously thinking about your future. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this girl? You probably aren't ready to make that decision yet. But you are forever entwined with her and her family because the two of you will be co-parenting this child for the rest of your lives so be respectful and honest with her and her family. This child needs a dad and you are it. Its time to grow up and fast. This is your life, kid.
2007-11-26 15:14:46 · answer #7 · answered by mandilu 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Guy, this is a hard issue.
For one thing, sadly, this is not your decision to make.
Your girlfriend is growing and will probably have your baby, or not, depending on what she decides.
You probably can't manipulate her into having an abortion if she and her parents don't want it.
So, facing that, what's next?
Do you want any relationship with her?
If you don't support her during this difficult time, scratch that.
Sounds like you'll be paying child support checks for a long time.
2007-11-26 15:12:05 · answer #8 · answered by ceviche queen 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
a "real baby" yea thats bullshit my friend this is a real baby he or she is a live and well in your gfs belly as we speak! i think you need to step up and be a man! yes i said MAN!! she did the right thing and told her parents im proud of her for that as for manipulating your gf wow your even worse then i thought...you have alot of growing up to and fast there DADDY
her parents are right!! you were adult enough to have sex w/ even worse a 15 year old now you gotta pay the price!
also i think you need to do some reading on abortions how they do it and what it does to the womans body and mind after b4 you think its such a great idea your just running away from your problems
i wish your gf well and i hope her and the baby do well and she gets smart and dumps your as s!
2007-11-26 15:14:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
You can't. Ick. I am avidly pro-choice, but it's the pregnant lady's choice, not yours. If she agrees to have an abortion but doesn't really want it, she will regret it for the rest of her life.
And you would be a total loser for trying to manipulate her into it if you are sure that she doesn't want it.
You might ask her whether she would consider adoption.
I am sorry for your situation. I know it must be hard for you, but it is MUCH harder for her. Try to have some sympathy for her and take responsibility for what you did.
2007-11-26 15:13:42 · answer #10 · answered by no5no5 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋