My brother just lost his fiance' (I always thought she was a little psycho but bit my tongue b/c I knew he loved her with all his heart). The wedding was in 15 days, and I already have non-refundable airline tickets to get me out there for the event that is no longer to be. I'm still going out....but to just visit I guess.
My brother is devastated. He lost his entire future. He loved this girl, AND her two sons (ages 5 and 2) and gave them everything he had. He had assumed the role of a Daddy so beautifully. And she just told him that she "just can't do it". Gave him back his ring, and he hasn't heard another word from her.
I'm going to be out there, but feel so terrible about it. What can I do to help him? He has never had his heart broken like this before. What can I do as the big sister?
2007-11-26 14:24:17 · 19 answers · asked by momof2kiddos 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A big sister would be very helpful right now, but don't smother him. He needs time to work out some pretty big disappointments and crushed dreams. Depending on how he responds, see him often and make sure that he doesn't spend too much time alone. Keep him occupied with things that you know that he likes to do, or things that will take his mind off of the disaster. But, also allow him to reestablish his relationship with male friends. He needs that as much as he needs sisterly love and concern. Help him to get back into the mainstream as soon as he is ready. He need to be assured that he is better off having had this happen sooner than later.
Wow, you are a wonderful big sister. Wish I had one like you!
2007-11-26 15:57:40 · answer #1 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she may have gotten cold feet at the last minuter and change her mind again but in the mean time I will give you a site regarding life choices that will help him, and perhaps her as well if she contacts him again. I hope he realizes that it is better than he found out now rather than after they were married for a while. This site should help him though. I gave you a link to the section on divorce but there are other things to explore there also including a section on self esteem and advice as well. Good luck to both you and him.
2007-11-26 22:37:09 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really all you can do is be there for him, all the words that you can think of to say aren't going to do all that much to help, really its just you being there that will do the most help. By all means though to do talk to him, and reassure him, just don't expect a noticeable change, and do expect a lot of anger out of frustration! Just remind him that its better he found out now and this way then her marrying him and having kids of their own and it happening then or her changing her mind later in life and cheating on him or some thing!
2007-11-26 22:30:31 · answer #3 · answered by the_last_knight_69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's really nothing you can do, except let him cry on your shoulder. Eventually he'll realize he hasn't lost anything, that she did him a favor, and now he can find himself a decent girl. At least the girl was honest, and at least it was BEFORE the wedding that she dumped him, albeit a little late.
Do make sure he realizes there are MILLIONS of nice girls that would love to have a guy like him. I've had two broken engagements before I finally found my husband.
2007-11-26 22:32:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what,8's ok that his fiance left him us early.coz if his fiance leave him in their wedding day 8's to much pain 4 ur brother.........just tel ur brother 2 move on,he can find a right girl 4 him...god has a very good reason y he let that 2 happen 2 him,god has a purpose 2 his live's....so cheer up and face the truth.
2007-11-26 22:39:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a sis, all you can do is be there for him. Sibling relationship is one of the longest relationships we will ever have in our lifetimes. just show him that no matter what is going on in his life, you will always be there.
also, i have to agree with other answers, he definitely dodged a bullet here. it may be a blessing that this woman leaves him alone and lets him start a new family of his own instead of being 'daddy' to her two children from another man whom she never bothered to marry.
2007-11-27 01:54:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may have been just playing with the idea that she could marry him and love him just because she needed a dad for her children.. I do not know how you can explain it to him..but really this to me looks like its for the best..better now than a few years down the road .
2007-11-26 22:54:33 · answer #7 · answered by BelieverinGod 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right by going out there still. Let him cry on your shoulder yell and scream if he wants. Just be there to listen and offer your support. They say everything happens for a reason though we may not like the reason.
2007-11-26 22:46:34 · answer #8 · answered by bridget b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a big sister you can be the ear to listen to what he has to say because he's going to need someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on because he's going to need to lean on you for support, and you can be the person that takes him out to try and do something fun and spontaneous to take his mind off of the situation.
2007-11-26 22:27:52 · answer #9 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it's for the best! It truly is you know! She didn't love him and for him to be condemned to a lifetime of that is worse than the alternative. That is the freedom to continue the quest for the real Miss Right!
2007-11-26 22:30:04 · answer #10 · answered by oogabooga37 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋