Hey Everyone i need help with this one. My husband for 6 weeks now isnt the guy of my dreams. He is a big kid. I mean i had 6grand in my bank and now i only have 70 dollars. He just goes out and buys whatever he wants and if i wanted something he tells me no im not allow. So i started working at walmart in town. I met this really awesome guy. I think i am falling in love with this guy. Im 20 yrs old he is 28 yrs old. I havent have a clue what to do. My husband doesnt know about this other guy. Im not making out this is guy but we hug sometimes. I wish there is something i can do or say. My husband has this Anger problem. He yells at me every chance he can get. :(
So if anyone who is reading this please help me!!!Thanks
2007-11-26 13:57:51 · 17 answers · asked by Sadlymadlytruely20 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey you are only 20 years old and i know you think your problem is something you can't get out of. I was married 2 times by the time i was 23 and i said i wouldn't stop looking until i found mister right. I did found him at age 25 and we got married when i was 27 you see it took me 3 times to found him but i did just like you will.
If you don't love your husband get out it really is that simple,and besides he took your money and for that alone he is no good for you.I have been married now for 29 years.Who knows maybe that guy at Walmart might be your soul mate so go for it be happy your much to young to be with someone you don't want to be with.
2007-11-26 14:14:02 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off... ALL MEN ARE 12 YEARS OLD... if you are lucky. It sounds like you have a 3 year-old.
Either get him off your account, or get another account and have your paychecks hit that account... he is not to ever have access to your bank account ever again.
When you have your banking separated...
THEN:
Take a day off from work. While he is at work either return or hock anything he has purchased... see if you can get some money back. If you have access to the account that his paychecks are hitting, take back any money.
Get out of there and go home to mama. If you can't stay with your mom, find a friend or check into extended stay corporate lodging until you can find a garage apartment.
Find the bank statement that says how much money you had at the time of your marriage.
File for divorce and see if the judge will award your money back.
This situation will NOT improve.
Looking at other men will not help you at all. You may be flirting with a replay of this one.
Next time you think about getting serious with a guy, have a private investigator do a background search.
2007-11-26 22:15:38 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Very sad to hear of your situation. Firstly, be very clear about what you want for your future. You could seek assistance in the way of counselling for your very new marriage. Marriage does take some work particularly at the beginning. Having said that your husband's spending is very much a concern and anger problems are very stressful to live with. If you have not already open a bank account in your name to deposit at least part of your income. Get advice from trusted family and friends. Be honest with that guy at work who you like. Tell him you are married and that you need to get things sorted out or ended with your husband. Only if you and your husband completely part ways should you begin a new relationship. This shows respect for your husband and gives you time to process one relationship at a time. I wish you well.
2007-11-26 22:14:13 · answer #3 · answered by Mim 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
20 is pretty young to be getting hooked up with this nonsense.
#1. QUIETLY find someplace safe where you can go.
#2. QUIETLY visit an attorney. Get some decent advice. ( they often have free initial consultations.
#3. Develop a plan, and don't let anyone...ANYONE know about it. Except for the fewest people that you can absolutely trust.
Cool it with the Walmart Casanova ( at least temporarily).
Your 'husband' sounds like an immature jerk, who is probably a serious danger to you. His ' anger problem' could easily become a violent situation.
The most important thing is that you protect yourself.
Whats he going to do when you're not supplying him with money anymore? Smack you and send you to work?
I feel for you sweetie. GET OUT and watch yourself.
I sincerely wish you well.
2007-11-26 22:15:50 · answer #4 · answered by mrgerry2004 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First thing you need to ask yourself is WHY you'd let someone else dive into your personal bank account? You had $6,000 and now you have nothing... it was not HIS to spend...
When we are married, we have the right to keep our finances and money separate if we want. And it's a good idea, in many cases.
It's nice you met someone working at Walmart. What does a man who works at Walmart have to offer (unless he's the manager?)....
If you are dissatisfied with your marriage, then do something about it.... and it's not wise to jump from one relationship to the next... it's called "rebounding" and we do it to prove we are still loveable.
I'm sure you are loveable enough, without getting involved with some guy who works at walmart.
2007-11-26 22:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey you need to GET RID OF THIS LOSER !!! The guy you married 6 weeks ago is a total MOUCH if you had $ 6 K in your bank account and now you only have $ 70 dollars. What does he mean you can't buy what you want it is YOUR MONEY not his !!!! I have seen girls get married in this manner many times. The best you can do is file for an annullment now before it is to late. The court needs to be petitioned for an annullment and your church if you are CATHOLIC. If you are Catholic it takes some time sometimes over a year. But it will appear as if you have never been married before. Do it before you are in to deep. I can tell you that you will only hurt yourself by staying in a relationship with a BIG LOSER like your husband. If you truely have feelings for this other guy at the WAL MART you owe it to yourself to be happy and get rid of your LOSER HUSBAND !!!! GOOD LUCK !!!! GET RID OF THAT A HOLE !!!!
2007-11-26 22:04:02 · answer #6 · answered by Joe A 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to figure out why you married this type of man. Otherwise you will just go out and do it again.
Your fault for giving him access to the $6000.
He sounds like a loser and you are too young to be married anyway.
If you are afraid of your hubby, then leave now.
If you think you can work things out then do so.
Last thing you need is another guy. Especially while married. Thats called being unfaithful.
Get your head on straight first.
I did not tell my husband I loved him until we had been dating for 8 months. Been happily married for twelve years now. Good luck honey.
2007-11-26 22:04:39 · answer #7 · answered by funngirly 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
doesn't 'ure huband work?
if he doesn't u need to let him know tht u he can't jst go around spending u're money that you worked fur like it's pocket change....
u're definitely too young to get married according to me....but then i dun wanna judge.... if u were ever in love wid u're present husband u need to giv him a chance to change....
if he doesn't....well u're still young....end it...get a divorce.....sounds hard...but it's better now than later when u guys hav a kid maybe....
everyone makes mistakes n the faster u correct them the better....
it's nice to know u're not cheating on u're husband though...
bottom line...tell u're husband how u feel abt his spending habits...n any other major problem u hav wid him....cuz if u don't now...things will get worse... dun mention the other guy cuz tht wud mess things up...n u havn't really done anythin wrong...
if u're husband doesn't seem to want to change...get a divorce... it's not the end of the world...n u're jst 20!! get out there!! do wht u wanna do....think abt gettin married 5 years down the line maybe...
dun worry abt his anger problems....there's always ppl who can help u wid that....gettin into an abusive relationship is NOT somethin u wanna do....tell him how u feel...
2007-11-26 22:15:28 · answer #8 · answered by help 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your age and life inexperience is showing here or you wopuld know what to do. Basically this is up to what do you want to do here. There is no reason for anyone to put up with any form of abuse so it comes down to are you better off staying put and putting up with the current crap or is it time to cut your losses and move on and be truly happy. This is what usually happens when a couple marries young and not really ready for the chalenges of marital bliss. Good luck
2007-11-26 22:05:33 · answer #9 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Geez you've only been married for 6 weeks and you feel this way. Marriage is never easy. That's why I always say don't get married until you're at least 30. Get counseling with him or get a lawyer. Good luck!
2007-11-26 22:03:33 · answer #10 · answered by Coco C 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋