Theres a boy in my grade. He is the same age and just a little bit smaller than me. His dad was diagnosed with cancer about 3 months ago so he is out of work and his mom has to stay home to take care of his dad. This leaves a major money issue. He is very short on clothing and I cleaned out my closet this week to get ready for christmas gifts. Some of the clothes I cleaned out are practically new and the ones that arent are still in decent shape I just dont wear them anymore so there is no sense of keeping them. I was wondering if it would be disrespectful to put them in a garbage bag or box and set them on his porch. I wouldnt be public about it and I wouldnt leave my name or anything.
Would his family take this wrong or would this be a disrespectful thing to do?
I dont want to hurt anyones feelings here.
2007-11-26 13:23:16 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
(He is an only child)
2007-11-26 13:35:08 · update #1
I think that's a great idea, and good for you for taking things you don't need anymore and giving them to someone in need. I think this is a very nice gesture that would be appreciated by this family.
2007-11-26 13:26:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 12⤊ 1⤋
That might embarrass him, he'll keep wondering who left it there. Maybe you could just start a casual conversation with him and then say ''Oh hey, I've got some clothes I don't really wear anymore and they are about your size, do you know who would want them? You can have them if you like.'' I'm not completely sure if this would work though, so wait to get more answers first. It might be a little obvious, but not too obvious. I don't think he would be insulted by that, plus it gives him the chance to accept it or not himself. If you don't really know him, or he's the kind of person who would rather not have that brought up, then go ahead with your idea. You could also ask one of his parents, they'll probably understand more, I'd go with his mom though because his dad might feel kind of bad. You sound like a great person for caring so much. Good for you.
2007-11-26 13:30:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 1⤋
First of all: I think you are such a genuinely sincere and caring person for even thinking of that boy when you cleaned out your closet. Especially since you're an adolescent (when others your age are worried about buying the hottest clothes, not giving theirs away). 100 Karma points for you!! :D
Anyhow, regarding the topic of your clothes: Since it seems like others know about this boy's situation, I think the best thing for you to do is ask your mom to talk to his mom (or, if needed, YOU can go talk to his mom). Have your mom (or you) approach his mom and talk about how you cleaned out your closet, and have a bunch of clothes that you've grown out of. Say, "I found a bunch of really nice clothes (even some that are new) that don't fit me anymore, and Mark (<--pretend that's his name) is kind of smaller than me. Do you think he might want to have them?"
I'm SURE the mom will be very, very, very thankful that such a sweet kid like yourself is offering to help her, and she'll probably accept it. It won't come off like pity if you offer it casually, kind of like when your big cousins give you clothes that don't fit them anymore (usually the "do you want them" conversation happens between the moms of the kids).
If you leave it on their doorstep in a box anonymously, I think that will taken disrespectfully by them (even though you have the best intentions), because it basically means, "hey, I pity you guys so much that I'm too embarrassed to show my face and give you these clothes myself". Right now, they don't want your pity or charity, but they would LOVE your friendship. ALSO, as a mother, I HIGHLY DOUBT that she will just slap some clothes on her children when she has NO IDEA where they came from. For all she knows, some homeless man (with really nice clothes :p) slept on her porch and accidentally left a box of his clothes.
Once again, you rock!
2007-11-26 13:45:04 · answer #3 · answered by Sunny_Smiles 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I don't think that it would be disrespectful. I don't know if I would just leave them on his porch. I would tell him that you have something for him and just take them over. There is nothing wrong with helping someone out and having empathy for their situation. You will not hurt his feeling and they will probably be grateful to you. If nothing else call them and tell them that you are leaving it. You might scare them if something unmarked just shows up at their door. You are a very generous and thoughtful boy.
2007-11-26 13:41:02 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is totally not disrespectful! If I were in their place i would greatly appreciate it. Also I have kinda been there and I know how much it helps. It is people like you who got my family through those times. But i wouldn't just leave them I would let him know where they came from so that he wouldn't feel weird about it or anything.
By the way you are very kind for thinking about those in need
2007-11-26 13:55:49 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa De Marino 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
actually i think that's incredibly thoughtful..
way to reach out to someone in need.
i think you should include a note with the clothes letting him know it's not some joke or something like that..
they last thing you want to do is let him take it as an insult, right?
you're a nice guy. =]
2007-11-26 13:59:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Young man that is an awesome idea and very kind indeed. As a minister I am impressed with your sensitivity. Please do it and keep it quiet for their privacy as it's a rough time for them I am sure and it might even be a good thing to take up a collection at your church for them. We do it for people in our community and cheers to you for being so kind. Your parents raised you well.
2007-11-26 14:01:31 · answer #7 · answered by Georgia Preacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Collin, I see today YOU HAVE BECOME A MAN!!! And an outstanding member of your community. I guess you know where he lives, so I suggest you try to contact his mother, first by phone and ask here if she thinks he would like some of your things as a gester of your friendship you would like to leave them wrapped up and a note saying "Merry Christmas" from Santa
2007-11-26 16:35:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What a lovely idea! My dad was studying for a long period of time, and my mum didn't work. I know how tough it can be and how much I appreciated garbage bags full of clothes! It was like Christmas! I think it's a really lovely thing for you to do. You're obviously a special kid!
2007-11-26 13:49:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
id think he would probably find it really embarrassing and if he doesn't know who the recipient is he might think that someone is trying to have a go at him for being poor.
Try seeing if he is open to someone giving him clothes and stuff like that and then you can be more open about it.
It's just that if someone left clothes on my porch because i was poor i might think that they were trying to be horrible about it or something and he is obviously in a pretty vulnerable position.
otherwise donate them to his nearest charity and hope that if he really needs clothes he will stop by there and get some of yours :D
2007-11-26 13:33:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I do not think that you would hurt anyones feelings by giving things to his family. I think you may think about if he has any other brothers or sisters so they are not left out.
Your heart is in the right place, and you do not have to but your name on it because you are the only one that need to know about kind heart.
you could leave a note and state if they do not need the clothes to please donate them to another family in need.
Good luck
2007-11-26 13:34:23 · answer #11 · answered by Caryn H 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋