Are Men and Women Hardwired to Form Friendships Differently?

Question

We all know different cliches about women getting together for girl talk while the men go off to play sport and out for a beer in the pub afterwards.

Are the cliches and stereotypes about how men and women relate as friends actually quite useful and pointing to a deeper truth?

Are these ways that we form friendships and relate to each other more about our culture, or are we hard wired to form friendships in different ways?

Answer 1

Yes. We are indeed hardwired to form friendships differently. Women generally bond through verbal communication - they get together and chat over coffee. Men bond in a more non-verbal way - by doing things together. We may not always say much, but if we've spent the afternoon repairing my car or installing lights in his garage, then we've had a good time.

Neither is a bad way to communicate, although verbal is less prone to misunderstandings, and is much more noticeable - which is why there are so many bad jokes about women talking.

Always remember that cliches happen for a reason...

Answer 2

I hate sterotypes such as these. I'm a young female college student and have absolutely no female friends, as I simply cannot stand how silly and immature most women my age seem to be. My boyfriend of a year is sensitive and has no problem talking about what our society deems "unmanly" and has one best friend. Neither of them can stand sports. I have a brother and sister, and their relationships are completely opposite of gender sterotypes as well. The cliches and stereotypes are harmful, in that they don't even represent the majority, and they encourage us to see relationships in an oversimplified, cartoonish way, rather than as interactions beween very unique individuals. I think these ideas are created by our culture and society, as I have no clue where else they might have originiated.

Answer 3

people are friends with other people ,when we go to the pub we all go ,not just the guys
but we noticed in England where i grew up,that American residents kids did hang around in all male groups ,we found that odd then 40 years ago already,

And in Holland it is hard to even tell the difference sometimes .ha ha

women got men friends ,women got women friends ,men got men friends ,and women friends as well .
and

friendship should not know ,age ,gender ,race ,or culture these factors are to me irrelevant,but that has also been forced unto me because i have almost never been with my own country men .

there are of course different things you do or talk about with different friends , with a ten year old you can have friendly discussions ,but you don`t go drinking.

or smoke pot with your grandfather
oops i have to take that back

I know in America you are supposed to have friends of your own age and sex ,other wise it can be misunderstood ,by the neighbors i guess.or your partner
.

With Indian friends in Africa,Africans and Portugese the women all stay together in the kitchen making food and the men hang out together drinking.

this is Mexico and here also are different cultures
+with the natives it tends to be like the Indians


But modern Mexico not ,
everybody hangs out together

at 6o most of my friends tend to be between 30 and 50
to go have a drink with or dinner and is mostly guys from work or projects and the majority is male but very often also women that have been involved with work.And i have many friends around the world of either gender

with men the conversation may be harder ,but don`t bet on it with the modern Mexicans.and some of the women drink heavier than i do.

where friendships differ is with very
religious people
friends tend to be divided in to different sexes .
the girls grouped and the guys as well
of both Christians and Muslims

Personally it all depends on the length and the mutual experiences that determines the depth of the friendships

People that share a traumatic time or experience ,tend to be closer than those who don`t

And i totally disagree with TARBA,i have friends that are in no way the same as me ,that makes it interesting .people with different view points can also be friends ,

I have had good friends in Rural Africa with very ,so called primitive people ,and there was nothing in common apart from the fact we were all human ,

And just that made me realize that there is almost no difference
everybody has the same kind of feelings
love for their children ,anger .happiness ,friendships

The so called primitives were the most polite and hospitable ,they have a lot of class.

But of course there are times when women get together for specifically female things ,and so do the men

society molds us.

Answer 4

Part of that might be innate, but a lot of what we do or bond is from upbriniging and culture. The reason I say this is because I have read men from other cultures bond closely like we associate with how women bond and these are regular straight guys. So I do think a lot is shaped by perceptions from different cultures. Things and delicacies that are repulsive to one culture is delicious to another culture and vice versa. I think a good part of this is societal conditioning ingrained.

Answer 5

i personally belive that men and women are in a way harwired to form relationships differently for example most guy friendships that i know of involves taking the piss out of each other to a certain extent.
We can also fight each other and still be friends 5 minutes after

Answer 6

Possibly. My wiring was a little off as a young girl because most of my young friendships were with males, so I learned to socialize much like a male. A little later in life like in highschool, I developed deeper and closer relationships with girls, but by then, I think I was already set in my ways.

Answer 7

" Hard wired " is a social science term. A scientist would say, " genetically influenced. " With that in mind, know that all human behavioral traits are genetically influenced and we know that men and women vary. I know of no particular study done here, but if I would speak to a human ethologist, I am sure their is some data on this.

I know one thing for sure. It is not a dichotomy between culture and biology. How could that possible be? We engender our culture; our culture did not engender us. It is " nature via nurture. "

Answer 8

I think that we form friendships for the same kinds of reasons (generally-speaking), but what we do with our friends (activity-wise) might be different..and that's not always true.

People who are social tend to form friendships a bit easier than those who are not very social. True for both men and women alike. I don't think we are hard-wired to form friendships in different ways or for different reasons- at least not hard-wired "by gender." (By "hard-wired" I'm assuming you mean "biologically speaking?") Our ease (or unease) with social interactions come from learning experiences, and are influenced by personality and temperament- temperament being the "biological piece" to this- not gender.) These things are likely to be different from individual to individual, regardless of gender.

Answer 9

Friendship is between to persons having the same physical urge and mental wave lengths ,which is the basis for attraction. Normally by nature,opposite sexes are attracted to each other for propagation as per natural laws. But still we see homosexuals & lesbians.

Answer 10

Yes, I agree. Both are well suited for each sex. And should always be pursued regardless of a love relationship with the opposite sex.

Each gender needs time to be with their own. And all should respect this. And not become jealous or possessive!