I stopped talking to my mother, step father, sister and brother because of child abuse issues and dysfunctional family issues. They befriended my husband's ex-wife and the ex-wife now takes my step-children to their house to visit them. This is all just to make me mad, which it doesn't, but I'm concerned for my step children. I told the ex-wife about the child abuse, but she says she is with them the whole time. My step children know that I don't have a relationship with my family, so I can't imagine how confused they must be. I'm very careful about what to say to them since they are only 7 & 8. Basically my family (psychos) and the ex-wife have NO problem telling children things they shouldn't know which includes bad mouthing me and my husband. The ex-wife even has them lying to their father about seeing my family. I'm considering either getting a restraining order or filing charges against my family for the abuse. What would you do if you were in this situation?
2007-11-26 11:24:17 · 7 answers · asked by Jesse James 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DO IT BEFORE YOUR CHILDREN ARE VICTIMS IF THEY ARE NOT ALREADY. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH IS IT WORTH YOUR OWN CHILDREN SUFFERING THE SAME FAITH?
2007-11-26 11:30:10 · answer #1 · answered by Art 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were in this situation, I would take my children MYSELF to visit my family. I would ask them about what they felt was appropriate and inappropriate. I would give them a chance to voice both the compelling AND repelling issues that every family has from their own perspective.
If I were in this situation, I would not talk about character flaws, but rather 'what works' and 'what doesn't work' and ask them how they would do things.
If I were in this situation, I would speak kindly of mom and dad, AND respectfully. Your step children are part of these people, and you can guide their attention to the greatness that your children have access to, or you can highlight the weaknesses that the children are probably already far too aware they have inherited.
If I were in your situation, I would know and express exactly what quantifies abuse to me, AND I would know WHY from personal experience, because there will be resistance to my restrictions, and restrictions can be argued, but experience simply IS.
Finally, I would talk with a professional. An impartial third party is mandatory. I would make every attempt to be thorough, brave, reflective, honest, and humble.
2007-11-26 15:46:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm thats a tough one. What kind of legal arrangement does your hubby and his ex have as far as visitation? I would first look there. If you feel the children are in danger its up to you to prove it. She kinda has you here as far as the kids go cause it has nothing to do with you its between your hubby and his ex not you and them and your parents. You may try and talk your hubby into getting involved in it but until then or you can prove something is going on over there you aint got much to work with. I know it sucks wish I had better news for you.
2007-11-26 11:30:14 · answer #3 · answered by fantasy gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to protect your children. You're their mother it's your job. You have to do what you have to do. Once a child has been abused there's no taking it back. So if you feel uncomfortable with this take action and don't feel bad about it one bit. Good Luck.
2007-11-26 11:31:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is noting that you can do about her lettingthe kids see your family (although I think that she is nuts for doing so) But my question is.... was this abuse.....which is bad enough.....or sexual abuse? If it was sexual abuse I would go to the cops ASAP and inform them of what is going on and let them know that you are concerned for those kids. It's your job to keep them safe if the mom wont.
2007-11-26 11:35:35 · answer #5 · answered by Brandi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to get to a lawyer and see what can be done and for God sakes keep those kids away from the *** holes. abuse is so bad and sex abuse is even worse. so try talking to there father too. maybe he will listen to you but, do try to stop this crazy thing from happening and i hope it turns out OK for you....good luck
2007-11-26 11:31:12 · answer #6 · answered by daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the authorities involved! Do it tonight!
I am not on duty tonight so there's no chance I will get this mess dumped on me, so call the cops TONIGHT!
Good luck.
2007-11-26 11:29:32 · answer #7 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋