I've been divorced for 4 years and my ex-husband is on my mind constantly. I've dated and have been in a serious relationship but I still think of my ex and wish we were still together. Any help??
2007-11-26 10:50:09 · 14 answers · asked by oorah_83 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Think about the reasons why you two got a divorce? Obviously you weren't happy and things weren't working between you guy... you should leave the past in the past, if it was to work out it would have happened the first time... When I got my divorce after a while I too forgot about the bad stuff and started missing him even though I had already started dating... after a while we got back to each other with my ex and it didn't last more than 2 weeks, it actually did more damage than good because we were even more angry at each other than before, it reignited all the reasons why we had hated each other and divorced at the first place... see a therapist, they can help you the most.
2007-11-26 10:56:00 · answer #1 · answered by Shelley S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your marriage to your "ex" was a first marriage for both you and him, the reason you are still having dreams about him is because regardless of your legal marital status, he is still your husband. You see, when a man and woman make marriage vows, they are not just vows to eachother, but also to God. Then God in turn make the two people as ONE. You still have a spiritual connection to your "ex" that will be with both of you for the rest of your lives. Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. It can be violated, but not broken.
You need to contact him and try to reconcile and get back together with him. If WILL work out once you come to an understanding the love is a CHOICE not a feeling. If you choose to love eachother becase you have vowed to do so until death parts you, then the feelings will follow.
2007-11-26 18:54:54 · answer #2 · answered by avidmark4 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If the two of you are covenant spouses, then you both are still married in God's eyes, despite what the divorce papers say. You need to turn your heart over to God and learn to stand for your marriage and for your exhusband.
Please check out Bob and Charlyne Steinkamp. They have a restored marriage after being divorced for about two years. They have a website and send devotionals everyday encouraging men and women to stand for their marriage and their spouse's salvation. Check out their archives.
https://rejoiceministries.org/devotion.php
I highly recommend that you sign up for Doreen's Devotionals called Doreen's Daily Delights.. These are awesome. http://marriagerestorationministries.org/
Here's another website for people standing for their marriages. There is chat every Friday night. http://www.faithandmarriage.com/
Check out Jimmy and Karen Evans. They have a weekly tv show that discusses marriage. Their shows are on the internet that you can watch. Jimmy is excellent. Jimmy gives very practical guides on how to have a successful marriage. http://www.marriagetoday.org/
Also check out this link concerning divorce and remarriage. I think you will be surprised. Many churches are blinded to the truth and even encourage people to divorce. Satan is tearing the church and marriages apart.
http://www.biblicalresearchreports.com/divorceandremarriage.php#hatedivorce
God Bless!
2007-11-26 19:28:49 · answer #3 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you do in life, that is a person whom you loved and a part of you will always love him even though being to gether may have been worse than being together. Although you loved him and shared a significant part of your life with him, there is much more love to have. Every love is different. Explore. Be happy. Stop dwelling. There were reasons that you two parted ways and if you got back together, it would become all too apparent.
2007-11-26 18:54:36 · answer #4 · answered by MJ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is normal to think about the person you spent so much time with..... and even compare all men you meet to him. Just stop trying to pull your ex out of every situation try to make new memories or just see if that old flame is still burning.
2007-11-26 18:55:05 · answer #5 · answered by becca_brat_07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you didn't say anything about why you broke up in the first place. If he's abusive or a cheater or remarried or stuff like that....you need to move on. But there's a reason why you call him your ex.
2007-11-26 18:53:29 · answer #6 · answered by HDGranny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, me too. I can't seem to get my ex-wife off of my mind. That sucks because it is so distracting.
I think the reason I do it is because I have not found anyone to take her place in my heart.
2007-11-26 19:00:43 · answer #7 · answered by . 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we try to solve our problems by ourselves but you see, sometimes it's not that easy... so I think a good way to solve this problem that's affecting you might be to go to a psychologist. Go and try and see what happens. If you feel comfortable and think it's really helping you, then go ahead and continue the treatment... otherwise, you can always quit if for any reason you are not comfortable or whatever but it might help you a lot to get through this and finally solve it. Good luck.
2007-11-26 19:02:03 · answer #8 · answered by Misha 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You probably need to talk to a therapist. Exs can be difficult to get over...unless they are like my ex...who was EASY to get over. You need to be able to move on and might need some professional help doing that.
2007-11-26 18:53:32 · answer #9 · answered by lahockeyg 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to a support group meeting for separated and divorced people. Share your feelings openly and honestly.
In time, you will heal.
Good luck.
2007-11-26 18:53:58 · answer #10 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋