i find that im more clingy to guys and i get my feelings hurt because of it. some times i tend not to trust a lot af guys with like simple things. i adopt my friends as my brothers.when i meet a person i dont want them to leave al most as if they protect me so im confused help me please?!?!?!?
2007-11-26 09:55:56 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
She'd be more attracted to older men (old men), trying to find a father figure, which she didn't have.
2007-11-26 10:00:20 · answer #1 · answered by anime fan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up without a dad. For the most part, I was very well rounded, but I had no idea how to act around men. I was a bit afraid of them. I didn't start dating until I was 17 (which was actually a really good thing) and I've had some problems in relationships because I've never witnessed a normal, healthy marraige. I have no idea what it means to be a good girlfriend or how to expect respect from the person I'm with. I've since met a great guy and I work each day at having a good relationship. It is possible to grow up "normal". Try to find a sport that you like to play. It will make you feel empowered as an individual and if your coach is a man, will give you a healthy male role model. Make friends with people who have two parent families and try to spend time with them. It might not be a bad idea to see a shrink and work out some of your issues. You're going to be just fine. Just be careful about getting into relationships to fill your need for a dad or you will just perpetuate the single mom/no dad cycle.
2007-11-26 18:14:38 · answer #2 · answered by mandilu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was adopted at a very young age and my adoptive mom has/had never been married. I was adopted with my sister, so it's always just been a house full of girls (my mom hasn't tried dating in 10 years). I moved out last year, I'm 19 now. I have had a wonderful, loving boyfriend for over a year. The only thing I notice that's "different" is that I attach to guys for friends pretty easily and not as well to girls (might also be because I'm an engineering major; not many girls). Also I've realized that there's just a lot of little things I didn't know about guys (for example, I only learned that guys' underwear had flies about a year ago). Otherwise I think I turned out just fine.
Contrary to what some people might think, girls without father figures are not promiscuous and don't seek out older guys for attention. I am not and have never been sexually active and I have never seeked out the attention of an older man (older as in more than 5 years my senior).
2007-11-26 20:18:18 · answer #3 · answered by goddess_gaia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, they sound like all the common symptoms.
If it's REALLY bad. For instance, your father never loved you or paid any attention to you, and then left your family when you were 9 (I know someone exactly like this) then:
-You could become VERY insecure
-Not want to voice your opinion because you are scared of rejection
-Find it hard to make friends or even trust people
-Become extremely clingy and start to copy and be like others.
Also, if you meet someone that you see has a nice dad, you could start wanting to be exactly like them, because they seem to have a good like, so you could end up stalking them and copying them etc.
I know this from personal experience from a girl who did that to me. =(
So don't worry, it could be a lot worse. I'm sure your dad loved you, but it just didn't work out with him and your mum.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, hang in there.
2007-11-26 18:03:09 · answer #4 · answered by *DAMAGED --x 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are correct. You are seeking a father figure in the guys you know. You feel abandoned and are reacting to those feelings by being clingly and emotional with them.
Girls who don't have a father in their lives often have sex earlier, have more relationships AND pick the wrong guys, ending up getting involved with domestic violence.
You need to see a counselor. Please, please talk to your mother!!! Tell her you think it's messing up your relationships with guys and you want help. Also tell her you don't blame her. She'll feel guilty anyway, but tell her. Through her health plan, probably, she can get some counseling sessions for you.
Recognizing the problem is 70% of the problem!!! Good for you!!!
2007-11-26 18:10:37 · answer #5 · answered by serene e 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really did not effect my kids at all I was married young, and their father and I just could not make it work. I have a 16yr old daughter and as far as I can tell she does OK. But I teach her not to trust anyone. But she also has A lot of friends. You have to learn to protect yourself It's A big world.
2007-11-26 18:15:06 · answer #6 · answered by answer machine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With no daddy, girls have no male to teach them about how bad guys are and how to find a good one.
Here's a tip. Don't give your heart away so fast. What we say must match what we do and how we behave. Otherwise we are lying bastards who wil break your heart and not care.
I know, I was a jerk in high school pressuring girls into sex. It worked, they wanted to be popular and liked and fit in with everyone. The ones who said not, I secretly respected for having confidence.
2007-11-26 18:11:01 · answer #7 · answered by Jdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generally, girls without a father in their lives become sexually active at younger ages and tend to make poor choices in guys. A girl's father is the first man who validates her as a person and a girl. If she has a good father who will recognize her inner qualities, she will seek similar men in adulthood because she has good self-esteem.
There is lots of literature about the importance of fathers in boys' lives and only recently has the importance of a father in a girls' life been understood. Fathers ARE necessary to boys and girls, both biologically and socially, despite feminists and liberals trying to convince us otherwise.
2007-11-26 18:01:30 · answer #8 · answered by Stimpy 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That's very common of girls who lost their fathers too early. My mother-in-law married a man some 40 years her senior (her father died before she was born). When she outlived him, she did the same again twice. I believe she was looking for a father figure.
I think therapy is in order. A few sessions with a good therapist could help you understand your feelings and teach you how not to transfer your feelings of loss from your father to your friends.
TX Mom
2007-11-26 18:01:24 · answer #9 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well..I havent been acting the same since my Daddy moved to Tennesee and I havent seen him in like 3 months.My attitude has changed and im more of a brat now that I used to be.It may effect other differently though.
2007-11-26 18:04:05 · answer #10 · answered by babygirl:) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It definately effects teenage girls!! I am a teenage girl and my dad was never really there for but now my mom got a new boyfriend and he is like my dad. It definately effects me. You need some sort of father figure to help you with things that your mom can't help you with and you need them for protection.
2007-11-26 21:22:40 · answer #11 · answered by Kayla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋