Long term realationship question - guys ONLY plz.?

Question

Ok fellas.

You and your missus have been together for ages.

The honeymoon period is long over, but you still love her.

There is a second bedroom in the house that is unused 99% of the time as it is for guests.

Do you start to sleep in there?
Why would you move in there? Or not?
Do you think it would have a negative impact on the relationship or a positive?
Do you think your missus would mind if you did or even want you to move if you didn't?

Answer 1

i would probably move in the other room just to have the bed to myself. My girlfriend is a bed hog. it really depeands on the person if you think its weird to sleep in separate beds. if you guys have been sleeping the same bed for years and then suddenly one of you sleep in the other bed with out any notice then that a problem. just talk to one another and ask why them are sleeping apart?

Answer 2

I've married at the age of 22. It lasted only a year.
Among the bunch of lessons I've learned is that every tiniest indicator of a desire to separate is a sure sign the attraction's over... and with it - the relationship. Truly over, even if it isn't formally ended.

Why would you have him or you sleep in another bedroom?

In fact - what's the motive behind this?
If you truly don't possess the desire for being tucked in by him every moment you can steal... then... what are you two people doing together at all? Anything less than that is just friendship. A whole different category.

I know this may sound too harsh and too simplistic but... if my wife posted this - I'd file for a divorce in an instant... since this is 21st century and there's no social norms for being married, no economic nor other chains holding us down... And if she would have me or her sleep elsewhere because the other space is "unused 99% of the time"... I'd stop the charade and get the whole thing over with.

That's what I learned from taking these things lightly.

Answer 3

First of all, I love sex too much to be sleeping in a separate bedroom. I wanna be able to spoon ya before I go to sleep, feel me! So no I wouldn't move in there and the only way I'd move in there is to get away from you and get some kind of separation, but if I were at this point, I would leave you altogether. And yes this has a negative impact on the relationship, and yes the missus would definitely mind if I moved to the next bedroom.

Answer 4

Uh, that's not a good sign if a person wants to move into another room "away" from they're partner. I understand the whole honeymoon being over thing, but you'll never have any kind of honeymoon activities going on "ever", if you move into the other room... Infact, all it'll do is create more seperation to the point where the two of you will be like strangers in the house and eventually, one of you will start seeking attentions else where or one of you will decide that you want to leave relationship.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 6yrs and sometimes things can be very boring, but I guess I'm fortunate that we both like to do spontaneous things, so we both come up with things to do "occassionally".
There's nothing wrong with having your own space to be alone sometimes, but you can't just go in the room and completly disconnect yourself from each other.

Try to find some interesting things the two of you can share together. You did it when you first met, so why can't you do it now????
Good Luck!

Answer 5

I wouldn't, just because the honeymoon period is over doesn't change my feelings. Even if the sex dies down (god forbid) its still nice to wake up to the one I love! Moving out of the bedroom will only have a negative impact on the relationship, it means the relationship was based on the physic all not real feelings!

Keep in mind I am divorced when I write this, but I still feel the same way. However this is just part of who I am every one is different and every ones situation is different as well!

Answer 6

It sounds like somebody needs a break from the ordinary. The good thing about this situation is that he is not running outside of the home to another woman (hopefully) for that break, but has made what seems to be a responsible decision to stay and try to work through it. He is moving to the other bedroom to get the space that he feels he needs.

Although it is painful, this will hopefully end up bringing new life to the relationship. If I knew the couple, I would suggest marriage counseling to help identify the problems that he feels are somehow pushing him away.

I think the woman here has some work on her hands too. Obviously, she likely wants to keep her husband, and it is going to be up to both of them to revitalize their relationship. Depending on what lead up to this situation, there could be any number of things to work through in order to continue in a healthy relationship with one another.

Once again, I would strongly suggest marriage counseling. These two need to talk about what issues are separating them, and try to work through them if they want to maintain their union.

If the relationship was healthy, I don't see much cause for this kind of behavior.

Answer 7

Something is wrong when a couple quits sleeping together married or not.Unless the shack up got a guilty conscience for living in sin or was trying to manipulate the other into marriage.

Answer 8

I wouldn't move out of my own bedroom and sleep in some other bed. If she has a problem, she can go sleep in the guest bedroom. If she has a problem that lasts for more than one night, we go see a marriage counselor.

Answer 9

I would suggest you go on a second honeymoon. Once your in the spare bedroom, the next thing will be out the front door.

Answer 10

I don't think separate bedrooms is a good idea for a married couple. I don't know why you would want to sleep in a separate room. From what I understand it is bad for a marriage.