Should I give my baby away?

Question

Hi. well, I'm 5 week pregnant but I don't know if I should keep my baby, a part of me says I should but I'm 16 and I wouldn't really know how to handle things, but if I give him away I may regret it later and it's going to hurt a lot (it's my first pregnancy). if you were in my place would you give him/her away or not? opinions plz..

thx for your answers!! I didn't expect so many, I promise I'll think about it, ty...

Answer 1

Its kinda funny to read the responses because these are the same ppl that will bash for someone thinking of abortion, now that someone wants to be responsible and put the baby up for adoption they want to bash again.

you do what you feel is right and what you think is best for you and dont worry about what anyone else says

Answer 2

Wow.. thats a tough question. I was 17 when I got pregnant with my first child. I considered all options and with the support of my parents, I decided to keep my daughter. Its been 10 years, and while the road hasnt always been easy, I am very glad that I made the decision that I did. I have a friend who got pregnant the same time I did and she choose to give her child up for adoption, it was the hardest decision she ever made and there have been times she regretted it, she knows in the end she made the right decision. She gets pictures of her daughter every year and even got to meet her a couple months ago.

If I were you, I would talk to your parents, a counselor and maybe someone at Planned Parenthood. You have plenty of time to try to make the best decision for not only you but your baby.

The most unselfish thing a woman can do is to give her child the life she cant provide them with. There are so many wonderful people who cant have their own children that are waiting for someone like you to give them the oppurtunity to be parents.

If you do decide that you are keeping the baby, then make a plan of action. Try to figure out how you are going to finish high school, day care, etc, That way you know what you need to do.

Good Luck honey!

Answer 3

Do you have a good support system behind you? Is the father going to be there for you or at least be able to pay child support? Are you ready to give up your life to be a mother? That means no more going out every weekend and partying until you puke. There will be diapers, feedings, crying, loss of friends, and a host of other things that a young girl isn't always ready to give up. You can't bring a baby into the world and expect someone else to pose as the mother while you resume your teenage life. There are people out there that have wanted to have a child for a long time that can't seem to conceive. Have you considered maybe arranging a private adoption? Some loving couple would be so happy to have that baby, and you would never have to feel bad. They may be able to give the baby a life you never could. I feel such empathy for you. It is a very hard decision. I hope you make the right one.

Answer 4

Every first time mother goes through the 'I don't think I can handle it' phase. This is a decision you need to make. Talk to your family. Though a child best place is with its mother (usually) sometimes its not. If you chose to put the baby up for adoption you can look into what is called an open adoption. That is where you where your child is and who adopted him/her. The adoptive parents agree to it and together you set up the "boundaries" (if/when you get to see the child, how your relationship will be explained to the child, etc.) or you can at least receive updates so you know how the little one is doing. There are options out there so talk to your family and you can even talk to a counselor at an adoption center. Just remember that you need to decide what is best for you and the baby.

Answer 5

Baby girl.... you are a child yourself. You aren't going to be able to provide for a child. You can't even support yourself. There are so many deserving people out there who can't have children and can provide a great home for a baby. Yes, having a child is a gift, but you aren't ready for that gift, so why give that gift to someone who can't have kids?
I have 2 very close friends who were adopted and their parents are the best people in the world. So deserving. And they haven't had a traumatic childhood like so many envision.
I definitely do not support abortion, but in this case, I do think adoption will be the best case.
You know you won't be able to provide for the child, so there's no need to struggle and make the child's life harder than it has to be.
Words of advice, you need to slow your roll. You're only 16 and already pregnant. Focus on school and growing up before worrying about sex.

Best of luck

Answer 6

If you know that you cannot provide for your child, the best thing you could do for them is to let someone adopt them that can take care of them. You can always do an open adoption so you can get pictures and updates, then you will not be wondering how they are doing. A friend of my step-daughter backed out of an open adoption when her baby was born and her child (Now 3 1/2 years-old) would have been much better off being adopted. They live in low-income housing, the little girl is basically ignored, learning problems because of just being plopped in front of a TV. She will never be able to have the things that she needs because her mom and dad cannot provide for her.

Answer 7

You know most people are going to tell you not to give the baby away, and honestly, you should listen to that advice. Have you ever heard of " don't do the crime, if you can't do the time", would you really be able to imagine that little adorable innocent human in a public facility with no one who cares, what if he/she doesn't get adopted right away or ever, just imagine what it would be like for a 3 or 4 year old little girl with no protection, no mommy, no one to witness and celebrate her first steps, her first words. Or getting abuse by other kids, and she/he will have absolutely no orientation.

It breaks my heart, of course I can understand what you are going through, your basically a child yourself. But if you are pregnant is because you are capable of being a mother and raising a child. And when you see that little human being for the first time, I guarantee you won't want him/her away from you for one second, let alone give up for adoption.

Answer 8

Be sensible! If you really love this child, do the right thing and put it up for adoption. The selfish thing would be to keep a baby at your age, when you've no prospects for giving it the best possible life.

It's not a pet, who can live anywhere...it's a human being who will need education, stability, clothing, toys, medical care and an adult to guide it through life. And it's not (as someone here just said) "a part of you." You might be carrying it, but the only "part of you" is genetic.

Yes, you'll feel regret and pain. You'll also know you loved your child enough to give it a better life. Being an adult often means we do things which we know will hurt, because they're the right thing to do.

Answer 9

only you know the answer to this.. My sister had her baby at 16, and she is now 21.. she kept him and it was the best decision of her life. It was HARD, for sure! she had lots of ups and downs.. but she would never be the person she is if it wasn't for her son.
almost no one is sure how they are going to handle things when their baby comes, so you're not alone in that..lol I am 24 and my first baby is due in 3 weeks and I am petrified!! I am excited too, of course, but I just don't know what to expect. All you can do is "roll with the punches" ya know? at your age, you know how to adapt easily, and that is one of the most important qualities of having children.
It's up to you whether you think you can do it, but remember, there have been many before you that made it through. give this a lot of thought.. it'll be the hardest decision of your life, but make sure you don't regret what you choose. and don't let ANYONE pressure you into your decision!!
good luck!

Answer 10

As far as giving your baby away that is something that only you can decide. My sister had her son when she was 15 and with the help of my parents and me he is now 4 years old and one of the greatest kids I know. It's a big sacrifice but having 2 kids myself and one on the way I can say that it's been the greatest thing to happen to me..on the other hand if your not ready and no one to help it might be best to give the baby up for adoption. I think that it might make you sad but giving your baby an opportunity you couldn't give them shows them just as much love if you were to keep them...Like I said it's up to you and your the only person that can make the best decision. Just make sure you make the best decision for the baby and not yourself. Hope everything works out for the best.

Answer 11

If you keep the baby you could possibly get family/friends to help care for the child. I don't think you should give the baby away... but if you do maybe you should give the adoption place information on where they can find you if the child ever wanted to find you again (i don't know if you're allowed to do that, but that's what i would do). Good luck on making the right decision.