My and my wife are seperated..she was physiacally abusive and I was guilty of dragging out arguments. I never touched her back!
I am guilty of calling her a few names after she hit me thats all. She left me and I find myself second guessing myself when I know that it wasnt really all me. I spoiled her and tried so hard when we were togther to show her somethimg better. I took good care of her and was a good provider. She left because she felt dissrespected! During hard times I found out that she would call her ex boyfriend and talk to him as friends (so she says) I only found out by answering her voicemail while she was in surgery. I never would have found out another way. This guy choked her, sold drugs and disrespected her also gave her hep C, But she knew about it and voluntarily slept with him bc she says she loved him. After I found out about him I felt that I was in competition for my marriage which made me insecure about what we had.
2007-11-26 08:20:19 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Now she is always talking to him and hanging out with him. She treats him so much better than me! and he did so much worse to her than me calling her a few names! she also said I was controling! I NEVER ONCE TOLD HER WHAT TO DO IN ANY WAY!!! NEVER..so I dont know where that comes from. The only thing i ever asked of her was to not include anyone that she has been with in our marriage. I wouldnt do that to her out of respect so that she would never feel awkward in any way. I wanted her to feel completely secure. I dont understand that if shes so big on disrespect then why is she so gung ho on this guy who did far worse! I love her so much ive forgiven her for her abuse and spitting in my face! loved her like no other and now shes bringing my 4 month old son around this guy who has hep c..is it me?
2007-11-26 08:24:47 · update #1
You need to find out why you are so needy that you'd want to stay with a person who is clearly abusive, and doesn't give a crap about you. That ISN'T love, ok?
She is very dysfunctional on top of it.
The main thing here though is that she is no good for being in any kind of mature relationship at all, YOU need to find the root of that neediness you have that makes you want to continue it even though you plainly know with your mind that it's a terrible idea. So work on that first. Get away from her, and be by yourself until you figure that out.
2007-11-26 08:31:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that you two definitley need a break. You guys need to find out if you want to be with each other and why. If you guys end up back together she has to stop talking to her ex and putting her hands on you. When women fall in love they fall hard so I'm not surprised that she still talks to her ex. I was the same way for a long time. I use to speak to my ex even though I had a current b.friend. I realize I did it 1) because I still loved him, 2) I liked the attention and I was getting back at my b.friend when we had an argument. You two should seek counseling if you to do decide to reconcile.
Keep praying and I wish you the best.
2007-11-26 08:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by babyhope1024 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just chalk this marriage up as a mistake. Some woman like the abuse and feel normal when abused. I had a friend who was like that. Her first husband hit her and was a druggie also has been in and out of prison. One sentence was murder. She said he was innocent. While he was in prison she started dating this good looking guy mmm mmm who had a good construction job making good money. He treated her with respect but wasn't perfect either. She would tell me that she still had feelings for her ex. I couldn't believe it!!! The guy she was with had a body on him as well. Her ex he was average looking with some white trash mixed in him and had no personality. When her ex got out of jail she divorced the other guy and went back to him. I think she is literally crazy. I say just move on and find someone who will respect herself and love herself.
2007-11-26 08:32:28 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too much drama and it's late already. So, she had a friend, and you didn't like that. You felt insecure and acussed her of cheating, being a s lut, etc. then she hit you for your absurd accusations and then she left. Honestly, I don't blame her. No one wants to be called names and be falsely accused. If you are insecure, possesive and jealous, that's not her fault.
It seems to me that you are fishing for justification of your actions. You are the only one that knows what happened and if your behavior was justified or not.
I'll leave with a thought... you can take the girl out of the trailer, but you could never take the trailer out of the girl.
Good luck
2007-11-26 08:25:19 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion she is the least of your problems. You need to now concerntrate on making a happy and secure lifestyle for your baby. Don't you think it is more important to make sure he is safe and well adjusted rather than waste all that precious time on her? He needs to be your main priority now, your hurt will go away, his wont if he is left to be brought up in those circumstances. That dear little child child desrves a good start in life and the way things are for him, it's not happening. Do something about him before you worry about her issues and your feelings. Channel all your love and devotion into him it is so rewarding. Good luck. Make him your number one.
2007-11-26 08:40:59 · answer #5 · answered by FLIT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why have you ever heard of nice guys finish last well the thing with that i hate about us women is that we want to be with the one that has trouble so that we can fix them not saying ever women but a lot they would have a nice guy and the guy that would treat them like **** and stay with that one i don't get it either but i have picked the asshole but that got old fast i know you love her but stressing your self isn't worth it if you leave maybe that will knock some sense into her but if not then she wasn't worth your time i mean she grew up with it her whole life just be a friend to her when she needs you but don't let her use you some women like to be controlled and i know that sounds bad but they/I've put them selve it that mess they can always get out it might be hard but i wise you luck and i hope you get yourself a girl that treats you good in the future but it is always hard to listen to your head when your heart is hurting
2007-11-26 10:01:22 · answer #6 · answered by whatzup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mate, you've got a tough situation on your hands.
Sounds like your lady has problems that only she can solve, if she will.
The best you can do is work on your own stuff. Figure out why you drag out arguements. Figure out what it is about you that attracted a woman who was previously hanging with a violent drug dealer.
You have to decide what you want in your life.
2007-11-26 08:28:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has issues....not uncommon after abuse to second guess yourself. Its part of the abuse or a consequence of the abuse. You can't make sense out of her actions and choice of lifestyle. You can't fix crazy. Forgive yourself and move on to find strength to never be in this type of relationship again.
2007-11-26 08:29:01 · answer #8 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Which part of "she doesn't love you " you don't understand ?
Close this chapter of this book and start from "scratch" ! Reach out to friends and family who most likely, will support you no matter what ! Take good care of your son and get a lawyer !!Good luck !
2007-11-26 08:25:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wive beats you up, lies and hides things from you. Why are you in competition for your marriage? I would say good riddance. If you treated her as you say you will have no problem finding someone else that will appreciate you for the man that you are.
2007-11-26 08:28:00 · answer #10 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋