I grew up with an alcoholic father that was physcially & Emotionally abusive beyond belief. At 16 I was thrown out of our "home" and lived in the back seat of a '68 Nove for 2 years. I know what you are feeling, I know the feeling of that empty place and that missing piece...how you feel when you see a great parent and wonder why didn't I get that!!! I know your fear that you'll pass this down.
I want you to know that is a lie..if you choose not to do that. I am happily married and have rasied 3 beauitful children who knew nothing but love & acceptance everyday of their lives.
Here's the key: Give them what we didn't get...give them love, give them lavish love, extravagant love, EXACTLY what we longed for and never recieved. I promise you it will be returned 1000X over. Give when your heart say's to hold back...never withold love, oceans of love!!!
It's making a choice ...you know what they need, you feel this deep inside, don't allow this to rob you anymore
blessings......
2007-11-26 06:42:29 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
AMEN
Good for you. My father was an alcoholic and my mothers is bipolar, so yeah, my life was like living with a pair of ticking bombs. I bear the scars of their physical and emotional abuse. My parents would hit the children when they were having a fight as means of getting back at each other. It was hell and I do not have one single good childhood memory.When I left home I SWORE never repeat that cycle of abuse and as a parent I wanted to be the complete opposite of my own.
My son and I have a great relationship,. We're pals and I LOVE when he tells me that "I'm his best friend. I trust my son and give him all of my support no matter what. I would never throw my son in the street or abuse him when things get stressful at work or in my relationship. I attend all of his school funtions and do everything together. My son is ALWAYS happy, he's always smiling, joking and you will always see him with a big smile on his face, he loves to help at home and shares with me everything. He respectes me and I respect him back... He talks so kindly of me,... he teels me that "I'm the best mom in the world"...that lets me know that I'm doing a job.... and I'm glad that he's not a sad, shy, scared, unconfident child that I was.
Good luck
2007-11-26 07:12:14 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once feared it, so I got help. I don't have any children now, but I want to have them a little further down the road. My mom once told me, while she was beating me or making me shower with her, that it takes 5 generations for abuse to be eradicated from the family. I don't believe that. It takes a person to say, it stops here. I made that choice to stop it all at generation number 2. You have to be strong enough to make that choice.
You are a great dad. You're kids are really lucky to have such a caring father.
2007-11-26 17:16:43 · answer #2 · answered by seaelven 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was adopted, did not grow up in the original violent family as undisciplined as it was. My family though on the other hand disciplined us very well, unfortunately, due to hormones/pregnancy and just being me, i am a little rough at times with my son. I noticed too that my parents are doing the same thing.......When I get over this pregnancy and over the loss of my family I know without a doubt I'm heading over for some counseling.
2007-11-26 14:48:03 · answer #3 · answered by Christina K 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
GOD BLESS U ur children are lucky!
2007-11-26 14:47:04 · answer #4 · answered by extrememotionz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats an awsome story!!
2007-11-26 15:12:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋