Not looking for a lecture!!?

Question

I am 32 weeks, with a much planned baby boy!!! I can only take an 8 week maternity leave, and then my son will have to be in daycare. I have said from the begining that i intend to formula feed my baby, as it will be best for my schedule, and for my husband and him to bond. FOR THOSE THAT FORMULA FED.. how did you deal with all the criticism?? I swear!!! people ask me how i intend to nourish my baby, and then when i tell them.. they chastize me!!!!

Answer 1

Don't deal with the criticism. State your choice and leave it at that.

If they want to continue the conversation say, "This is my choice and I would appreciated it , if you would respect it."

Answer 2

I have had the same problem.But the fact of the matter is that it's your baby and how you feed is up to you as a mom.I formula feed because I don't make enough milk and even if I did make enough milk I think he would still formula feed because when you have children you are always on the go.Good luck and just over look all the small minded people in this world....

Answer 3

I have two daughters. I breast fed the first for six weeks and the second is still going strong at three and a half months.

I wish I would have switched over to formula a long time ago!! The baby doesn't like the formula and won't even take my breast milk from a bottle.

She doesn't like frozen breast milk at all and will take the formula over the breast milk, but when I come home or she sees me (I do drills once a month so I'm not home for 8 hours on two days a month) she knows I have the boobs!!

There is nothing wrong with formula feeding. Why people throw such a big fit over it is beyond me!! I was formula fed growing up and I am just fine!!

There is really not that much of a difference between a "good" start and an alternative "good" or even "better" start.

If anyone is critiscizing you, tell them to shove it. They have no business doing it, and that is coming from a breastfeeding mother! Your choice is your choice, it is none of anyone else's business what you decide to do!!!

Answer 4

Listen, I breastfed and formula fed (Breast with 2nd, formula with 1st because she was having so many problems), but when it comes right down to it, you do WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU!

As for the criticism, just say, "thank you for your concern..." and walk away. You don't have to tell anyone how you will feed your baby! Just say, I haven't decided.

Listen, you probably were formula fed( I was) as a baby and you turned out ok, didn't you???

Don't defend your decision. It is really no ones business which way you choose to feed you child. By the way, I got grief from MY FAMILY about breastfeeding my daughter until she was a year old, so criticism goes both ways.

good Luck!

Answer 5

I breastfed my four, but I was a formula fed baby and I'm perfectly healthy. I'm a healthy weight, of above-average intelligence, no high-blood pressure, no diabetes, no problems with cholesterol, and I managed to produce four perfectly healthy children (which to me, is the real test).

"Breast is Best" does not mean formula is poison. Besides, the formula on the market today is much better than the stuff I was given 33 years ago... and yet, there are millions of healthy people out there who were fed formula. I bet you most of the people who criticize you were formula-fed. I wonder if they realize they are impugning their own intelligence when they spout the statistic that breastfeeding makes babies "x"- percent smarter?

You're the mom, and you will do what needs to be done to keep your child healthy and happy. If that means nourishing your child with formula so that he can eat at daycare and be fed by Dad, that is absolutely FINE.

Edit to add: my grandmother worked as a nurse at a civilian hospital after she came home from being an Army nurse in WWII. She bottle-fed her babies because she had to work when her husband couldn't seem to get his feet under himself after the war. My mother, who was given formula in a bottle by a babysitter, is in her late 50's and is quite healthy. No diabetes, no glaucoma, no respiratory problems, nice low blood pressure, and she's quite intelligent, thank you.

Answer 6

What ever choice you make for you and your family, is the best choice. There are PLENTY of bottle fed babies who are just as happy and healthy as breastfed babies. The fact that you have thought this through and see all the benefits that formula feeding will offer your family tells me that you are making the right choice :)

If you WANT to, you could breast feed for the first couple weeks or until you return to work, then pump. Or do a combo after the first couple weeks of breastmilk and formula then eventually ween off breast feeding. Or just formula feed from the start, like you plan to. There are tons of possibilities and as long as you are happy with your choice that all that matters!!!!!

Good luck to you and don't let anyone get you down. Enjoy your little blessing :)

Answer 7

If you state your decision firmly, you do not leave anything open for discussion. Could it be that you feel somewhat guilty about your decision and people can sense that and try to sway you?
It's your child and you're not doing anything illigal, so just do what you feel is right and works for your family.
With that being said. I have two children and went back to work after my first one and was fortunate enough with the laws in Luxembourg that my company had to give me either time to nurse my child or for me to pump at work. Since the first was not an option (30 min each way - to and from work) I pumped my milk and froze it for use at the daycare or for my husband to feed our son if I had an appointment or errand to which I could not take our son. There are a lot of studies that show the benefit of nursing for your child and for you as well (decreased risk of developing breast cancer and I could eat tons more during nursing and still lost weight), but formulas have come a long way. So you see, what works for some might not work for others, that's why it's good you have options. Best wishes for a smooth birth and a healthy baby!

Answer 8

It is unfortunate that you would have to lead with a request not to be lectured. I also understand why.

I intended on breastfeeding my twins (now almost 4 years old) but on day 3 after they were born - the blood test that the hospitals run- returned to warn me that my daughter had a life threatening disease that would prevent her from ingesting milk products (galactosemia- it is different from lactose intolerant) . I switched both of the twins to soy formula and from there the questions started. Her disease made it easier for me to answer the questions about the formula instead of breast milk "would you rather I kill her with breast milk?"

What I can tell you from my experience is this- those questions will come mostly from friends and family and those at the daycare. Friends and family are trying to feel you out on the kind of parent you are- some are judging. They want to know- are you overprotective- earthy- controlling- or are you normal? (what ever their version of normal is)

I'd recommend that you give the same response to every one. "We are giving our son formula because we believe it is the best choice for our family." Only then if they pry (shame on them) do you respond with your husband helping with the feeding and the ease of your daycare staff to feed him. I would do my best to shut the conversation down here.... if they start telling you stories about how they breastfed because it is so good for the baby etc.... do not take the bait and relate that story to your situation or feel defensive. just say "that's great that it worked out for your family."

If they want to further discuss your situation after that reiterate "we made the best choice for our family"

I hope this works and I hope you find some peace because really- it is so much easier when you have support and don't feel lectured.

Best wishes.

Answer 9

I know what you mean. Nowadays, its like women are made to feel guilty if they don't breastfeed. But what some people seem to forget is that so many of us adults were given formula as babies and we turned out just fine. I was given formula and I am in perfectly good health & I have no known allergies. There was a time when formula was favored over breastmilk. Today is the opposite. Tomorrow, who knows...maybe they'll say cow's milk before a year old is fine. (Which was what was given to babies in the 50's before they came up with formula!) Nothing ever stays consistant with Science.
I'm not doubting that breastmilk is good for a baby...thats if the mom eats a healthy diet. But you can get good formulas nowadays that are very close to the same composition as breastmilk. As far as bonding with the baby goes, you can bond just as well formula feeding. And it also gives Dad a chance to bond as well.

Don't listen to the criticism. Do what works best for you & your baby. As long as your baby is drinking a good quality formula and growing like he should he will be just fine!

Answer 10

Honestly I would just ignore them. You are doing what you feel is the best thing for your baby and your family. That's what is important. There is no need for you to justify or explain your decision to anyone but yourself. I had people criticize me because my twins were bottle fed. Half of what they got was formula the other half was breast milk. I pumped for 10 months and STILL had people telling me that I wasn't breast feeding. Ignore them and go on.

Answer 11

Not a lecture...but just a question and thought. What is most important to YOU? Your schedule or your new born baby's health? Antibodies and many immunities are in the mothers milk, that won't be found in any formula. You take that away, and you have a good chance of having an unhealthy child. I have found that many people I know who have allergies to everything (some deadly), get sick often and are hard to stay healthy is because they weren't breast fed or drank "mother's" milk very long and weened into formulas. You can put your milk in storage bottles and plan out the week so it works to your schedule. The longer the better. I have been into health and fitness most of my life, and I find that if we start off and make our bodies strong when we are born and young, it will help much later in life. Even exercise! But, that is up to you...what is most important, a healthy family, or you schedule? Hope you can make it work.
Best of luck to you!
Jack Julius