Last time I was at their house I became ill with bronchitis, and I asked repeatedly to be taken to a doctor but they refused, saying I was 'fine' (they live out in the middle of nowhere, so I was 'stuck' at their home). They refused me a bed, I had to sleep on the floor and my mother in law refused to feed me claiming that she 'knew what was best for me'. I had my cell phone with me but couldn't get reception.
They dropped me off at the airport when my visit ended, and I was so sick and pale that I passed out and the lady at the airport snack bar called 911. I was taken to the hospital, my bronchitis had gone untreated for too long and turned into a bad case of pneumonia.
I cannot bring myself to be around my MIL. I have not been to their home since this incident. My husband and I have not seen his parents since this happened (4 years ago) but now he thinks it's 'gone too far' and wants us to smooth things over with them. What do I do to get over this? Should I get over this?
2007-11-26 05:47:32 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They have not apologized for this or for the other, lesser nasty things they have done and said.
2007-11-26 05:55:19 · update #1
I should add I was digustingly ill while at their home - hallucinating from high fever, pale, shivering. At one point I cried to MIL to please take me in to the doctor. She just LAUGHED. I was in the hospital for awhile, on oxygen and antibiotics, getting chest xrays, etc. It was really bad.
2007-11-26 06:26:47 · update #2
Where was your husband when all of this took place? That doesn't sound good at all. If that were me I would have thought that she was trying to kill me. That is your husbands mother he has to like her not you. I would never stay at her home again and I would tell her all about herself.
2007-11-26 06:06:26 · answer #1 · answered by Keke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was a bad mistake on thier part. They should of took you to the doctor however this should not keep you from having a good relationship with them. It is not as if they gave you something to give you the bronchitis. They were not being very loving though as well. For your husband sake start learning how to deal the the in laws.
2007-11-26 13:58:53 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate my inlaws too they have treated me poorly in the past but when we had kids things slowly smoothed over. But if they had threatened my life and refused to help when I was sick I doubt 4 years would be nearly enough time to "forgive and forget" even with grovelling on their side.
Although a sincere apology, and a paid trip for 2 to a Sandals resort for 10 days - might afford some forgiveness ....
2007-11-26 13:57:57 · answer #3 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi girl, that was awful what they did! I can't imagine they purposely did it but were probably ignorant country bumpkins.
Four years is long enough for a trial visit.
Good think your man stood behind you!
Just let the past go! I'm sure he told the what happened to you and their horrible error!!!!
Next time you visit, keep it short, get a separate motel/hotel with hubby!
They brought that boy into the world, they should get to see him.
C'mon girl, terrible ignorance on their part but it has been four years. You're alive and it was just country bumpkin ignorance on their part.
Start the new year with forgiveness and supporting keeping the parent-son bond before they pass on from this world!
Good luck dear!
2007-11-26 14:16:57 · answer #4 · answered by Jack Bent 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all .... you have the right to be upset and apprehensive about being around them, second...remember that they are your husbands parents ..regardless..so why not compromise...instead of going to their place where you feel helpless and unsafe have them come to your home..show them what real hospitality is and how one should be treated when a guest..your husband shouldn't have a problem with that..he gets to see them but on your "turf" so meet in the middle and make the best of it...maybe they really thought they were in the right...
2007-11-26 13:59:03 · answer #5 · answered by Andy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your right to be hurt, but maybe just be cordial to them. I would never stay at their house again. Go visit but stay at a hotel and rent a car so you can maneuver on your own.
You should always remember the incident, but for the sake of your relationship with your husband you need to be cordial with your in-laws. You don't want your husband to hold it over your head or have to choose between you and them.
2007-11-26 13:59:27 · answer #6 · answered by Edub_1999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to pray about this situation. I think it's in-laws job to be mean and evil. You will never forget but you can forgive. That is your husband's parents and no matter what he loves them. Go for his sake and feed them with a long stem spoon. It's not going to last forever.. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-11-26 13:58:51 · answer #7 · answered by KSR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are either going to have to get over it or you are going to have to tell you husband that he needs to understand and explain what they did to her was wrong and incalled for and that it has been along time but the only way you will ever talk to them is if they are nicer and they do not this again to you I mean it is going to be hard don't get me wrong it is hard but you need to get over it for your husband sake. He needs to see his parents just know that this is his happiness his mother and you are the two special women in his life and he loves you both will all his might. Just next time you go don't bring it up and make sure that your husband does not leave you alone not one minute even if you have to fallow him to the bathroom do not leave his side.
2007-11-26 13:56:22 · answer #8 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How was it that you were stuck in the middle of nowhere at your in-laws house without your husband? And how is it that he can forgive them for something like that? I know they're his parents, but what they did is really disgusting. What the hell kind of Texas Chainsaw Masacre folk ARE these people? Stay away from them! If your husband can't understand your reasoning, then the hell with him too! I would have absolutely NOTHING to do with these people EVER AGAIN! If he wants to see his parents, GREAT, he can go and visit them! I wouldn't see them and I sure as hell wouldn't invite them to your home!
2007-11-26 13:52:38 · answer #9 · answered by Marina 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It depends on if she has apologized and put out an "olive branch" for you. If she hasn't then I wouldn't worry about it. Eventually you will have to get over this on your own but you don't have to forget it. If you do go over there the next time yourself and you get sick again, use their land line (if they have one) and call 911 yourself. Don't wait for them because only you can take care of you.
2007-11-26 13:55:34 · answer #10 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋