How do I deal with my mother-in-law?

Question

My mother-in-law tends to be nosey, judgemental, and rude. For example: She came to visit us last Friday & brought 6 of my husband's nephews. She never mentioned brining all the boys & I barely had enough food.Somehow, they ended up staying the night. I wasn't prepared. I was bothered but kept my cool but when she came back to get them - I stayed in my room.

She is a single, born again Christian who gossips a lot. She used to be promiscuous & abused alcohol & drugs.

Since she lives in LA & we live in San Diego, we don't see her too much. In December, my husband & I are going on a cruise & she'll watch our daughter. I feel like I have to hide our bills when she stays @ our house.

My question is - when she pi$$es me off - should I just take it or stand up to her? I feel like if I take it, she'll keep doing it but if I stand up to her - it will cause problems between my husband & I.

It was worse before we had our daughter & I would avoid visting her.

Note to one answerer: She'd never steal from me & we never borrow from her. She would let everyone in the ENTIRE family know our income & debt - which isn't bad but it is PRIVATE.

Note to one answerer: She'd never steal from me & we never borrow from her. She would let everyone in the ENTIRE family know our income & debt - which isn't bad but it is PRIVATE.

Answer 1

I would put all personal things you do not want her to see in a box and leave them at your parents house, in storage, or in a friends attic until you come home. That solves the issue of her finding out what you don't want her to know. As far as the nosy and judge mental then less she knows the less she has to judge. If she is rude I would call her on it in a nice way and if she invites people to stay over that you are not prepared I would tell her that a sleep over tonight is not going to work for me. I will have to take a rain check. End of story.

Enjoy your vacation and in the future I would look to find another person to leave your child with as if she is this bad I would not want my child in her care.

Answer 2

You need to talk to your husband about this and see where he stands on it. Let him know how you feel and why. I have a father in-law like that, I let my wife deal with him. The only contact is the holidays, and I figure she's worth having him around a couple hours at a time. But she already knows if he calls I'm not home. I've told him one thing and it's completely turned around and a lie when he tells someone else. Let your husband know either he runs interference between you an mom or your not going to bite your tongue anymore.As far as your trip, I would lock up anything that has an amount on it. My father in-law would come over for BBQ's then tell everyone my food sucked. Everyone knew my son was going to have to cook for this BBQ, when I got off early I went ahead and cooked, it was the best BBQ my in-law ever ate. then he started mouthing me about why I couldn't cook as good as my son, when my son in front of everyone tells him he only lit the charcoal, it was priceless.

Hope this helps

Answer 3

To be honest
I was expecting MORE

I mean, she didn't do anything except bring some boys,??

I know my son loves to stay with his uncle,

And EXTRA FOOD?? Kids eat anything, just boil some water and pasta

No biggie, I mean sure she should have mentioned it, but you could have asked,

Spending the night, Was kinda a gimmee, as far as the distance goes,

_____

Because she gossips, and used to sleep around, and drink
and now is a reformed born again ( but still gossips)
( she could be doing worse than that right)

You trust her to watch the kids, but think she will steal from you?

Why hide the bills, thats a bit riddiculous, do you think she'lll ask for money, if she did she'd ask your husband.

Steal from her own son, I doubt IT,

I think your just a bit selfish and immature
As you grow up, your relationship will change,

Hopfully, you realize that this is a NON issue...

M

Answer 4

By all means take all of your personal bills and paperwork and put somewhere she isn't going to find it.

To be perfectly honest with you.... if you don't want your husband to be upset with you, you are going to have to put up with a certain amount of attitude from your mother in law. As long as she isn't abusive to you or your daughter. Accept that the two of you will never be close that she is going to be a pain in the kazoo and take the higher ground.

Answer 5

Get a callerID and do not reply the cellphone. Best resolution. I used to have a type of monster-in-legislation. Get rid of the husband and the monster-in-legislation went away. Voila! I do not know why will we must have a mom out regulation. They are extra challenge than valued at it. What are you able to do in the event you are not able to manage the in regulation? Some Christian are the phoniest humans on this planet.

Answer 6

Talk to your husband, and ask him to talk to her. This will help to not create a problem with him. If he is unwilling, you need to talk to her your self, respectfully.
Mother in laws can be a pain, but if you set it straight now, she may not like you, but respect you.

Answer 7

ok.... your in a really difficult situation... i think honestly just talk to your husband. he should try to understand u because your his wife and your 2 have a child together. i think that you should tell him whats going on and make sure you tell him that u dont want and problems but you feel the need to tell him

Answer 8

i would talk to your husband about the situation first. maybe he should be the one to say something to her. and if he wont then you should. you shouldnt just take it.