I’m 22 my husband is 32 we being married 2yrs and half. While I was dating him he was totally a different guy, he cleaned, he cooked he did the laundry and we dated for over a year. However, we got married and the honeymoon was over, he leaves his dirty clothes and underwear’s all over the house. He never cleans, cook’s, or even watch our one year old baby. I work full time as psychologist in school and I go to school part time to get my MS. He won’t even baby sit our kid while I’m cooking or cleaning he would leave him in his room or put him in a walker. I feel like single mom but I really want him to be more helpful please help I need some serious advice by the way he won’t go with me to counseling ‘cause he doesn’t believe in it. He has zero tolerant for our baby when the baby cries he goes off on him and tells me to shut him up. I try to talk to him when none of us is upset, he apologize and says he will change but he never does.
2007-11-26 04:22:27 · 11 answers · asked by Izabela 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're a psychologist and you can't figure this one out? Leave him for goodness sakes.
2007-11-26 04:37:58 · answer #1 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you afford a cleaning service? Someone to come in and do the basic laundry and cleaning? It won't force him to change, but clearly you have alot on your plate with a child and a career. What bothers me the most is his anger at the baby, acting like a baby, which is to be expected. Anyone wanting a mother to "shut him up" sounds like a hateful pig, not just a slob. I'd be very concerned about that.
2007-11-26 04:39:44 · answer #2 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I had the same problem and all I had to do was absolutely NOTHING..... that's right just stop doing all the things hes used to not helping with. I understand with a child this isn't exactly easy but it can still be done... only do for yourself and your child. When hes getting upset because the house is a mess his laundry isn't done and he has to make his own dinner, just respectfully approach him and remind him that y'all are a team & which requires everyones help. Sometimes I think we become too comfortable and take for granted the things that seem so small, thats all this is hang in there and he will come around. -Good luck
2007-11-26 04:40:04 · answer #3 · answered by cluadia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you live together before you got married? I just don't understand where this sudden change in behavior came about. You studied psychology, so why don't you try getting to the bottom of what's going on in his head? On the surface, it appears that he's a lazy slob and he's got no clue what a marriage partnership is. I am especially disturbed that he reacts to your baby the way that he does. I seriously would issue an ultimatum: Either you get help by going to a counselor with me and pitch in to do your share, or you can get out of our lives. Sweetie, he isn't helping you anyway.
2007-11-26 04:32:33 · answer #4 · answered by Marina 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't leave your baby alone with this ticking time bomb.
If he won't go to counseling and talking the situation out doesn't help and you are miserable.......then that only leaves you to remedy the problem.
To me it doesn't sound like much of a marriage or the type of marriage that you want; so what would be the logical outcome?
Divorce?!
2007-11-26 04:39:19 · answer #5 · answered by Indypendence 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While you are getting prepared to leave this loser, do NOT pick up his clothes and wash them, do NOT cook for him. As a psychologist I can't believe you'd stay with somebody like this and tolerate him "not believing" in counseling. You are obviously enabling him to live like a little boy with you being his mommy.
2007-11-26 04:36:21 · answer #6 · answered by Johanna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
setup a list of chores and if does not do his share then it does not get done. ( for example: if he refused to cook then you cook for yourself and baby and he has to cook his own meal). Unless there are mental issues you need to take a "tought love" response before you burn out.
Also I wonder if before you were married he did not take you for granted and now does. Give him a hint that if this continues then you might move on with your life. This might give him a wake-up call needed.
2007-11-26 04:48:06 · answer #7 · answered by ensoman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RED FLAG!!! RED FLAG!!!! I'M in social work also!!!
As soon as possible.....Get the man out of your house!!! He's an abuser!!!!
Throw the man out!!!! Specially since he gets mad when the baby cries and tells you to shut the baby up!!!!
This is a dangerous environment for your child..
FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILD...Get OUT!!!
You can support yourself and keep your child safer this way....
2007-11-26 04:32:50 · answer #8 · answered by Dog Rescuer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOVE. You are trying to better yourself for yourself and your family, and it doesn't sound like he's contributing anything to the marriage, and if he's yelling at your baby, it's time to give him some hard choices, and be prepared to follow through.
Hope this helps email me if you need
2007-11-26 04:49:14 · answer #9 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would leave for the sake of your child......
2007-11-26 04:39:36 · answer #10 · answered by ღKrissyღ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋