Have you ever been in one of those situations where you find out who your REAL friends are?

Question

My father recently suffered a stroke and it has been very difficult for my family and me.

What's really bothering me at the moment is the fact that people I know who thump their chests the hardest about how we're such great friends have been the first ones who've abandoned me when I ask for their help and support.

On the other hand, I've received loads of help and support from co-workers and my more casual aqaintances who've gone above and beyond the call of duty to help my family and me out.

Has anyone else had this experience?

Answer 1

Yes, I have and people will surprise you sometimes. Sorry to hear about your father, by the way. when this did happen , I did let a few friend go by the wayside. Also, Some people don't know how to act or be caring people. I figure it was the way they were raised and really couldn't understand my situation. Some people get freaked out and can't handle others illnesses even if they are friends. Let them have their space for now and just don't let it get you down. Do what you have to do and let them know that inside he's still the same person he always was, he just can't be the same person on the outside anymore.. I think after a while some of them may come around and want to see him but try not to hold hostilities towards them if and when they do... Good luck and take care of your self also in this hectic time... :)

Answer 2

I have found some people just can't cope when others are in trouble. They will cross the street rather than talk to you when you have been bereaved because they don't know what to say.To a degree, they are being selfish. Makes anybody wonder how they will cope when they are going through the agony.
I think we have all found this happening with so-called friends when trouble strikes. I was ill for several months last year. Colleagues and friends were so supportive, but some relatives found my appearance very amusing. I had Bell's Palsy, which paralyses the face, and is a viral infection which lasts a long time. It also caused complications in my diabetes.
I hope your father will make a good recovery, and that things will be easier for your family.

Answer 3

Im sure its happened to many. We can never assume that people will behave in a certain way, or in the way we would and its very upsetting in a time of need and we are let down. My partner committed suicide last year and I was not only shocked by that but shocked by my friends letting me down and disappearing, even a family member of mine did the same. I have tried to work it out. I think some people just are not able to put themselves out for others and are afraid of getting drawn into others problems. Its very sad. My neighbours turned out to be the best, I certainly found help and support in the oddest places. I hope your father recovers and wish peace and strength to your family.

Answer 4

Yes i have and it was one of the most upsetting times in my life, thankfully my Dad didnt have a stroke but i was literally at the end of my rope , I lived through that time, same as you wil, so good luck to you, I hope your Dad is on the way to recovery now.

But I tell you something, it's a great way to save money and time- imagine all those birthday and christmas cards n presents you would still have been sending to a load of hypocrits, and all those favours and childminding - lifts to school, bbq's - some people are just take take take.

And the same as you, it surprised me who the Good people really were !

Blessings to you and your family *

Answer 5

Yes, I have this year - I learned the TRUE meaning of friendship.

This year alone, I lost my grandma this summer and a family member who had been diagnosed with cancer... I had these two girls (who were close to my age - both 28 years old) they were my close friends until a misunderstanding ruined that relationship. They forgave me but they decided to "ditch" me instead... Then out of a blue, this girl whose 4 years younger than me and this lady whose alot more older than me 10 years apart... They offered me comfort than the other two girls (28 years old) never did... They were so kind and supportive during my trials in my personal life. They became my real sisters - A real friendship that I couldnt never asked for.

As for those two girls (both 28 years old). You know what? I learned if they dont appreciate me as a real person - its their lost. Life is too short I realized. There are people who will value me and appreciate my friendship that I could ever offer.

My consolations for your father. Take good care of him and I know it will get better for you, hang in there. And don't ever lose hope!

Answer 6

Yes,I was abandoned by every one when I fell on hard times about 6 years ago and struggled with a lot of personal issues.
It was a blessing, though because now I have a wonderful circle of dedicated and real friends.
Only a few of my old friends remained with me- I was shocked at who they were, too.

Goes to show you that you just never know.
This could be a blessing in disguise for you.

Answer 7

Yes totally but don't worry too much, if you are a boy, sometimes boys are just crap dealing with emotional stuff so they probably are scared and don't know what to say. Boys are more into sport and drinking then talking about emotions, be grateful there are people there for you who care about you and maybe connect with your other friends when you're feeling better but don't expect too much from them. Sorry to hear about your fathers stroke by the way hope he gets better soon :)

Answer 8

Its the nature of the world. Don't trust people right away, examine them. Out of a hundred there could only be one real friend.

I am living right now contented keeping only 4 real friends others are just ordinary ones who would be there only for the fun. Its sad to hear from you that it happened in a loss of a loved one.

Answer 9

Yes...I became friends with a woman about 9 years ago who wanted to be a good friend to me b/c she found out that my parents and grandparents had all passed away and all I had for family was my sister and my husband. My husband left last January and when I was a mess and at my worst, she told me that we could talk and hang out, but she didn't want me to discuss my husband b/c it was too stressful for her. I decided that she was not my friend after all and quit speaking to her. I have come into contact with her recently and we are friends again, but I cannot ever let myself get that close.

Answer 10

Yes...but they still expect you to do this and that 4 them...look after yourself and fk the rest...u will get 1 friend if your lucky that you can turn to for anything, one that phones you when they want a pub buddy, one that has nothing better 2 do coz all the other mates are busy and a few who ***** behind your back...