Doesn it defeat the purpose? Arent you losing out also?
2007-11-26 04:10:21 · 26 answers · asked by Stephen 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just came back and checked on answers and find it funny that people assume that its the woman who is with holding the sex. And that I am getting withheld from.
I just asked the question based on some other questions that I have seen here. I am getting it, LOL
But, read these answers, they are funny, most are women who must be using sex as a tool.
2007-11-26 04:25:35 · update #1
I think most of the times when sex is withheld from the partner, it is the woman withholding from her husband/boyfriend. It is usually because she is wanting him to pay attention to a certain matter, and she feels that denying him sex will get his attention. In theory, he will then meet her demands in order to get the sex he has been wanting.
This is a very bad thing to get caught up in. Sex should not be used as a reward system in a partnership. It teaches one partner that sex is something the other partner does not want. It teaches them that "if you do something you don't want, I will reward you by doing something I don't want". If sex is something you do not want, then do not be in a relationship with this person. Otherwise you have reduced sex to being a commodity.
And what happens when sex is viewed as a commodity in a relationship? It then falls under the rules of supply and demand. If one partner feels like they are being ripped off or that the price has gone up for no reason, they will start shopping elsewhere. And yes they will end up choosing the lowest bidder.
2007-11-26 04:48:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not really about "withholding" sex. It's about not being in the mood. It's about one partner doing something dumb and the other being mad or turned off. Why would he/she want to have sex with someone who just pissed him/her off? People aren't going to have sex if they haven't been turned on. So, withholding could also just be apathy towards sex rather than a control measure. Women are the ones who usually get blamed for this but it can happen the other way too.
2007-11-26 12:53:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If a woman has reached the point of utter disgust with her partner she will withhold sex. If she has tried and given her all and feels unappreciated and unloved, she wont want to let him inside of her. I have never withheld sex because I would feel like I was losing also, like you stated, but a lot of women could care less if they had it or not. Men too, some could care less. I dont' understand people like that maybe they don't enjoy getting off, who knows.
2007-11-26 12:13:59 · answer #3 · answered by Brittney 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
many reasons I can think of.
they don't like you and use you for convenience.
they're cheating on you.
they are frigid and don't care much for sex.
maybe you're not that good.(sorry-just saying). Or they love your personality but there is no attraction.
If they are holding out 100% there might be some secret going on down there.
You need to communicate with this person.
More than three times a week should be par(to me anyway). But you at least need it once or twice average to survive without the hand jive.
2007-11-26 12:20:13 · answer #4 · answered by kadmonzohar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because other things are not right in the relationship or someone is not ready. Defeat the purpose of what? And for the one holding out, it's not about losing out. It's about making everything else ok first before becoming vulnerable to the other person.
2007-11-26 12:13:51 · answer #5 · answered by az_starshine1 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If your trying to make a point that you are really upset about something it doesn't defeat the purpose. Unless it goes on for way to long then I would have to figure out another way to resolve the problem. Except for if sex was the problem then I am not losing out on anything no matter how long it takes.
2007-11-26 12:17:54 · answer #6 · answered by j_thang_2001 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
when someone wants something more than the other person does and it is given freely all is good. But when the person who wants it more is being an *** and the other person punishes tham by withholding it then they get leverage.
women tend to do this more than men because women tend to have a lower sex drive than men. (before you start yelling - I didn't say or mean to imply that all women are this way).
2007-11-26 12:31:03 · answer #7 · answered by old-softy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, we are losing out also. But that is not the point. They are probably holding out because they are upset or irritated about something. They may be doing it for a more intense experience the next time you do it. They may even just be tired or not in the mood.
2007-11-26 12:16:16 · answer #8 · answered by Edub_1999 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Eh women can do that we are not SO into sex we can go without it for awhile but I will say this watch out when we get the erge again sorry you are going through this you must of done something bad huh.....
2007-11-26 12:14:16 · answer #9 · answered by ღKrissyღ 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
one would withold sex from their partner beacause a: they are cheating and someonelese is fufilling their needs or b: they just din't have an active sex drive.
2007-11-26 12:17:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋