Help!, Husband doesnt like to talk?

Question

I have a real problem; my husband and I have been married for 4 years. Our marriage had been nice, not perfect but nice. He is a good guy and says he is crazy about me. The problem is he doesn’t like to talk. We worked all day and when we see each other at night I like to talk. He does not pay attention nor does he make the minimum effort to talk.

My family lives in a different country so it is not like I can just talk to them. I feel terribly sad and bored. I have opted out to go out with my friends mostly every night. I also get home late now because If I get there early I will be talking to the walls.

My husband gets mad when I go out, but he is not the best company in the world and I feel really frustrated with his lack of interest in sharing with me. I know he does not have problems at work. I have asked many times what’s going on and he says there is nothing wrong. He says it just his personality. HELP!

NOTE: I am NOT trying to punish my hysband, by going out. I just can't stand the fact that we will not want to have a nice conversation with me. I FEEL LONELY.

He used to talk to me all the time and make me laugh. He doesnt anymore.

He talks to other people, not to me. I am thinking I bore the hell out him.

Answer 1

Do you know what he interested in? You can use that to open him up. Since he does not like it when you go out sit down and make plans to go out some weekends. Give him choices things to choose from. Try to find something that he is interested in and make it your interest to.

Men are different than women they do not like to talk about they're feelings as much as women. Women are more emotional creatures. You will just have to figure it out. When you are with him make it about him. Cooks what he like, watch what he like and talk about what he like. When you are with your friend then you can talk about you day and other people because guys do not really do not be that interested unless they know them.

My sources can help you find a better approach so you and your husband do not drift apart.

Answer 2

Start doing things together so you have stuff to talk about! You work two entirely different jobs, maybe he doesn't feel like talking about his to you, as you won't understand it or fully appreciate it, in fact you'd probably find it boring!! So what else do you have in common? Well, if you are out partying every night, he isn't spending quality time with you - what's he supposed to do? Talk to you about how wonderful his evening home alone was again? NO!!

My spouse and I talk every night before bed - about nothing and everything! On weekends, we lie in bed in the mornings for hours just talking nonsense! lol, share past experiences and what we want to do in the future, etc. But we spend time together so we are comfortable sharing anything and everything with each other, plus we have a lot in common we could talk about (i.e.: the movie we watched last night, the trip we plan to take next year, the plans we have for Christmas, etc.)

Answer 3

Is this a sudden change? If so, he is likely having some sort of issue and you should find a way to communicate or possibly seek counseling.

If he has been like this since you got married, which it seems like he has, you need to remember what it was that you fell in love with and how you communicated back then...see if you can get that spark back. If he has always been closed off and that was something you didn't like before you got married, then you should have stayed single. You can'
t change people or their personalities, it's all about what you can live with and what you are willing to give up if the issue is a deal breaker.

Answer 4

Don't believe that he's ignoring the fact that you have marriage problems cause he's not. Men go into their caves when they have problems and they try and sort things out on their own unlike women who need to talk it out to fix them. Just give him a little room and try your best not to keep bringing it up. Get creative to open the channels back to communication. Focus on the solution not the problem in other words. If he's watching T.v. and seems a little zoned out just sit next to him and watch it with him without any words, or cuddle with him. Once he feels ready to discuss some of his issues let him talk without you getting so upset and see if he has a point to anything he says and remind yourself while he's speaking that you love him and ask yourself if fighting over this is truly worth ending your marriage.

Answer 5

This post sounds almost like I wrote it myself. Although, I don't go out with my girlfriends every night I do go out with them almost every Friday. And we've been married a little over ten years. The going out started about 2 years ago. And it's not that my husband doesn't talk....it's that all we talk about are bills and the kids. I want to talk about fun stuff. So that has led us to not talking at all, mainly because I'm a SAHM and all I do is kids and bills. LOL!

We are going to start going to conseling to learn how to communicate and enjoy one another once again. I love my husband and I know that he loves me; as well. But we are adult enough to know that communication is the key and somewhere along the way we have lost the us in our relationship to all our responsibilities.

I would suggest that you cut down on the going out. I have had to realize that my stubborness is also a factor; I now will watch the football game; although it bores me to tears; we at least have one subject other than did you pay the Internet bill to talk about.

Good Luck

Answer 6

Most men don't talk much. See, God gave men a certain number of words for our whole life and most want to be sure they don't run out. God gave woman an unlimited supply, and they know this. LOL. just kidding there, but it seems like the truth.

Turn the TV off and turn the computer off and have a heart to heart. Men often don't see the need to talk. They work hard to help provide, they come home, say I love you, and that's enough. Women don't understand that at all. For them that doesn't even touch the surface of what they need. Explain why you need him to talk to you more. He probably won't understand, but should give some effort after knowing.

Answer 7

you need to get into counseling because this will cause a divorce otherwise. Is he just too tired when he gets home? Perhaps he is physically or emotionally tired and taking some daily vitamins may give him more energy and you can start doing things together outside of the home to respark the interest he had when he was talking to you to get you to marry him. If that was just his personality, he wouldn't have talked to you before you were married either. He may have a problem with self esteem at work perhaps so I will give you a site for that here and maybe that may help, either you or him. Good Luck to you!!

Answer 8

What do you do for a living? Maybe you have too much time on your hands and like to talk. Women tend to talk a whole lot more than guys. I think it like 12,000 words for women and 5,000 for men. He gets upset because you are out every night and coming home late. Sit down with him and tell him how you feel and the only way you are going to know how he feels is to talk. When he does talk are you receptive in the things he says or do you complain about what he says? What are you contributing to the situation? Some times it is easy to blame the other than ourselves.

Answer 9

Going out with your friends every night is a bad move. You're going to start identifying more with them than with him. You may even find another guy who likes to talk while you're out.

Why not stay in and have a few quiet evenings with him? If you're truly in love, silence can be very comfortable. If you can't stand the silence, maybe you should go see a counselor about why you feel the need to fill space with words.

Answer 10

My husband is a very quiet and shy man by nature, but when we get together at night he never shuts up. Why doesn't he want to talk? Thats strange. Does he not have the energy or is he bored by you. He needs to make more of an effort to make you happy because otherwise you will find another man on your nightly outings. Good luck.