Would we end up divorced?

Question

Do you think that two persons with completely different interests/hobbies can get along?
The girl I love has a completely different interests and hobbies.

I'm looking for a serious relationship, and if it worked out we may end up married, but would it?!

When I imagine myself married, it's always me sitting in a room listening to classical music or on my computer, and she is in a different room reading the newspaper or solving the crosswords, then, I see myself forced to watch the movies she likes and listening to her music just to "spend time together and try to make it work" and vice-versa. We won't have anything in common to chat about, etc.

You see my point? surely not nice huh?

Answer 1

To me, it sounds like you are over-analyzing your r'ship. You sound like an incredibly scientific, rational guy. I dated a guy like that. Let me tell you, when you meet the right woman, you KNOW....and it doesn't matter if she likes rock/pop while you only like classical. The fact that you're even having to analyze these issues tells me she may not be the right woman for you. But to answer your question, YES, a marriage can certainly work when the 2 people have different hobbies and interests. It's actually HEALTHY to have separate hobbies from each other because then your identities are not entirely wrapped up in each other. A solid r'ship that is strong isn't intimidated by having 2 different hobbies. Now, I will say, it's obviously important that you have SOME interests in common! I'm guessing you do or you would not have made it this far. Hobbies are inconsequential really. The more important thing is that you have common VALUES, GOALS, and perspectives on what love is and what it takes to have a good marriage. If you can't agree on those things, then it's a moot point to argue about hobbies.

Answer 2

I do see your point and I understand your concern because I was once in a long-term relationship with someone who didn't share most of my interests. I think that the thing to consider here is what you need to be happy and what she needs to be happy. If you can accept the fact that you will need to do things that aren't really your thing sometimes and if you can also come to terms with the fact that you may be doing some of the things that you love without her being involved, and if she can accept these things too, then I think that if you two really love each other, through compromise and acceptance you can make it work. However, admittedly it won't be as easy as if you both shared many of the same interests. I think it is really smart for you to be thinking about this and also to talk about it with her now to see what her thoughts and feelings are. Maybe by discussing it you will have more clarity. Good luck with the situation.

Answer 3

Being completely different usually adds to a good marriage, I mean of course you want to have some things in common. But if you like to do different things then you marriage wont get boring you can try out things you spouse like to do every now and then. You just have to be open minded and if you really don't like something she does you don't have to do it with her. Everyone needs their own space sometimes, so you don't suffocate one another. Besides once you have been together you can make some common interest or hobbies. Food and cooking is usually the best place to start for common ground.

Answer 4

i wouldn't say it was doomed. it's really a matter of compromise, and how much you and she are willing to do. if either or both of you are compromising so much of who you are just to stay together, than i'd suggest ending it now. opposites do attract, and do work. and having different interests/hobbies can actually be a plus to a relationship. that way you both have time alone, doing the things that really make happy, and being able to share them to some extent with the other person. otherwise you can run into the risk of being too similar and being too wrapped up in each other.

all in all, it could be a real plus for the relationship, it just really depends on how different the two of you are, and how you can navigate through it while maintaining the interests of both individuals in the relationship.

Answer 5

With the attitude you seem to have about it, I don't see this as a successful partnership.
We are all different and bring different things to a relationship. You may come to find that you actually do enjoy some of the same things she does and vice verse. However, If you feel like it's just one great big inconvenience to put in the effort to show interest in activities she likes, then she isn't the one for you. You should want to spend time with her, you should want to learn more about her interest, you should want to do whatever it takes to make it work. You don't seem to have that drive for this woman. This seems to be someone you would just settle for to not be alone.

Answer 6

Opposites attract...I have met many people who have alot incommon..In no time they are bored with each other..PLUS remember.the way to tell if a marriage can last is when you learn to "JUST BE" together and not be "DOING" anything to keep busy....You wil learn to enjoy some of each others interests if the relationship really means that much to you....You will enjoy watching her enjoy things and vice versa...

Make sure you all KNOW how your parents and hers were with MONEY, disagreements and decisions.....
This is a measuring stick of HOW it could go once you're married to her..
When you don't know what to do alot of newly weds only have the example of their parents to fall back on to handle things that come up in the marriage until they discover a way to do it that is right for the marriage they are in...
MOST important listen to your heart and each other FIRST anf foremost...
There is a book out there with a spiritual context ..Its called "HOW to save your marriage before it starts"
by Dr Les Parrott
Good Luck

Answer 7

I agree with what most of everyone is saying. The attitude that you have right now isn't going to help. Me and my husband have completely different personalities (he likes the night, I like the day...he is all black and white, I see the grey, he likes comedies, I like the drama). But we compliment each other perfect. We also like different things, but still do a lot of things together! You can make it work out if you want to. Sounds like you are being pretty negative...and you're not married yet!

Answer 8

I married someone like that, after 21 years I want out, because I feel like I haven't been "me" all that time and I feel cheated. There is no abuse or cheating, just-we don't have anything in common except the kids, and they are growing up. When I express a dream, such as living in Europe-he rolls his eyes-it's the last thing HE wants to do.

You don't have to share ALL your interests, but if there is really nothing, I don't think you have a solid foundation to build on.

Answer 9

It's important to have separate interests!! You two really should focus a little on things that you both like OR things that neither of you have even tried. It's fun to try new things together whether it be food, sports, or other activities. I would definitely try to find SOME things you both enjoy doing together but also keep separate interests as well.

My bf plays softball and hunts...I do neither. I crochet and enjoy gardening...he doesn't. BUT, together we golf, bowl, exercise, wake board, and play video games. Surely you two can find a FEW things to do together...

Answer 10

its not easy for 2 person to come together. it involve the right timing, chemistry etc even if both parties are committed adult. but most importantly i feel is that always ask yourself is there anything that might stop u from being a good husband or may lead to divorce? work on those weaknesses and a good gal may somehow someway come out of your way :) but of course its not relevant for a 17 yr old student as how often can such a relationship last till they are ripe of marriage?