I need help?

Question

well this is what is happening I left my husband like 9 months ago we just had to much problems that we felt could not be solved any more well ne ways I met this other guy that i fell for quick and he is so handsome, but he is to obsesive and he always wants me to be at home and I cant even run my daily earens well now my husband wants to get back together for our kids and us and now I don't no how to let him go I need some help please think of good things......

Answer 1

I"m not sure why you would want to be with an insecure man that won't even let you leave to run errands, That isn't healthy for you, and definitely not for your children if they live with you. I'm not saying you should go back to your husband either. You don't say what the problems were. It may just be time for you to stand on your own two feet without a man for a while.

Answer 2

you need to think of your family first. taking a break in a marriage isn't totally uncommon. sometimes its best for both parties to get away from each other for a while to think about things and to let things calm down.

your first wrong move was meeting another man. first of all you left your husband. but you did NOT divorce him. you two were still married no matter what you thought. that piece of paper holds you two together and you fell for another man.

i feel like you fell for this man because he is entirely different from your husband and you feel you want a fresh start. however it looks like you didnt make a good choice since he's possessive and doesn't let you do things you want to do.

you don't know how to let who go? i'm hoping you're going to let go of this insecure man you met. it's not that hard to do. YOU'RE MARRIED.

end all contact with this guy and work things out with your husband. he obviously loves you a lot to want to get back together and cares about your kids a lot.

you need to make a choice. your family, or some random fling you just had because hes "good looking."

well good looking only gets you so far and at the rate you're going you're going to wind up in an unhealthy abusive relationship.

Answer 3

You don't know how to let a controlling jerk go? This guy is truely psycho if he wants you to stay home all the time and control your life....RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN FROM THIS. Break up with him, if he gives you crap, file for a restraining order, this guy sounds really psycho to me and could be dangerous.
As for getting back with your ex, you left him for a reason, do you really think things have changed? getting back together for the sake of the children is a bad idea unless you have both made some serious changes.
You sound like you are too nice of a person and a bit of a pushover. You need to take charge of your life for the sake of your children and show them how a strong woman acts.
Don't take any crap off any man any time....period!

Answer 4

Well its seen like there some problem in this new relationship
be very very careful.
As for your Husband see if you guy can talk it over but first
you may need to lets this other relationship go.
I think what best is to think about things without having your husband or this new guy around.
Then it up to you to make the right decision. This new relationship sound scary, The other relationship may can be work out who knows

Answer 5

You already left your husband once - are you thinking of going back to him to try it again? Will the two of you be able to work out your issues? Those are big questions for you to answer.

As far as your "other guy", who cares if he is handsome? He is controlling and usually over time, that stuff gets worse. You need to leave him for sure before things get worse.

Sounds to me like perhaps you need to not be with anyone for a while to find out what it is you are really looking for and to get what it is you really want in a relationship.

Answer 6

Basically, it seems you want to go back with your husband

So i would say make sire that the 2 of you just look for a new apartment, don't tell the kids about it,

and MOVE back with your husband

tell the obsessive new BF that he is too obsessive, and its just not working out, tell him that your gonna try and make a go of it with your husband for the sake of your kids,

They deserve the second chance,

If he tries to persuade you, then just tell him you made up your mind,

And do not give him you new address, because that obsessive streak could come back to haunt you,

Also you and your husband need to change your cellphone numbers, start fresh and new,

Good luck

M

Answer 7

okay so...you want to let go of your husband or the new found psycho?
1. you have got to get rid of this obbcessive freak...he will hurt you. my suggestion would be to get everything that you will need and leave...but make sure that you tell somebody close to you what is happening. get a restraining order if he gives you any trouble, even just threatening you...this may sound extreme, but don't give him a chance to hurt you.

2. do you really want to re-enter a loveless marriage?...well maybe i judged it too fast, maybe it's not loveless...but "staying together for the kids" is never a good idea. kids aren't stupid, and if they are, they won't be for long. my parents were married for 20 years "for the kids" and it was MISERABLE. your kids will want to see you happy, even if you go through rough times with the divorce.
on the other hand, if you really think that this marriage is worth saving i.e. you still are very much in love with him and think that you can work this out, lovingly...proceed. get some counsiling and start working through...but i warn you, it will not be smooth sailing, so you both will have to really commit to saving your marriage....
if you are going to do anything for your kids, just make sure that they are so loved that they dont know what to do with themselves :)....i think you will make it through :)....but like i said, get rid of the psycho PRONTO!

Answer 8

Listen carefully, If you haev kids you owe it to them to at least try with your husband. The new guy is toxic!!! You must be careful with guys like that. It all too often becomes abuseive. Those signs of possesiveness are the red lights!! Your husband is right to try. Your kids play the most important part in your lives. If you can not work it out with your husband at least try real hard to be friends. As far as the other guy,GET OUT!!! You need someone to love you with all their heart and to be secure in the relationship. Good luck.

Answer 9

First you need to get away from the handsome controller --- people rarely make good selections when they are first separated. Next you need to figure our if you want to consider reconciling. If not then fine start building your new life. If you do then make sure you work hard to understand the real issues that led to your breakup and fix them before going back to living with him.

Good luck!

Answer 10

It sounds as if you are doing every thing for the men in your life and you have forgotten your self .never start a relationship until the one you are in is over completly and you seen some one that was hansome and you went with your mind and didnt includ your heart .maybe get a place for you and your children and get yourself together with them and see if you and the childrens father will be able to be together .and the hansome one loose him no one has a right to control anothers life unless they are in a prison . and love is not controling but giving .if you feel in your heart that you love your husband still and its worth the time to mend and heal your hearts to be together then take time to talk with him and let him know how you feel in your heart and mind together and see if you two can come to and understanding in your journey together in your committment of marriage and counciling helps at times takes two to do it tho and alot ofhonesty good luck.