Do I have to give the ring back if he called it off because his mother threatened to take all his assets?

Question

He is 37 yrs. old, never married, never left home. Let me know of the ultimatium Thanksgiving night. I gave up my apt. had my phone transferred, he knew 2 wks prior and said he kept hoping she would change her mind before he HAD to back out. We had been together 2 yrs.

I know I should have been more protective of my own heart, I think I looked at the whole of the situation and empathized. His father passed away when he was 8 and his mother made him her "everything" she owns the ranch land and half of everything else. I don't understand how that kind of relationship thrives but I know it is powerful. I think I just wanted to keep the ring because it's all I have left, I thought he was my best friend. thanks for taking time to share your wisdom and wit.

Answer 1

He is 37 and his mother still supports him and rules his life? I will tell you from experience, a momma's boy is the ultimate worst relationship to get into. It will be hell every single day - she'll make sure of this. He needs to man up, start supporting himself and build his own place.... she should not be this involved in his life, especially at his age!

Keep the ring, but ditch him... seriously, you don't want to go through this. It's difficult and your heart breaks every single day. She will never accept you, or any other girl for that matter. Until he realizes this and stands up to her, he will remain single.

Answer 2

Number one how can his mother take his assets if he is independent. Yes I would give the ring back. Why hold onto the past. Get another apartment. Use a cell phone from now on. They are just about as cheap and much more versatile. I would not go back to him. It is a waste of time and you can do better. From now on do not give up your apartment unless you are married. It is just too risky. Also pick someone who wants the same things as you do and is independent. After you break up, you might talk with his mother if she is willing. You might find out that most of this is his idea. Remember if he does not want to marry you you are better off and probably too good for him. Sounds like he has never grown up. If he is in his thirties and does not have his own assets then he has big problems. Also if he is of age and owns his own stuff his mother cannot take anything unless she is his guardian and responsible for him. If that is the case then he probably should not get married.

Answer 3

Give the ring back, it was intended to be a promise of marriage that wasn't kept. If he were to take you to court regarding the ring, you would be forced to give it to him. It sucks, but it's the truth. Next time, try to be pickier. That fact that he is 37 yrs old and still living at home should have been a red light.
When I was single, I had 4 basic rules, if the answer wasn't yes then there wasn't a date (or 2nd if I found these out on the 1st):
1. Are you over 21?
2. Are you gainfully employed?
3. Do you live with your parents or spouse?
4. Do you have your own car?

If the answer to any of these is no, then don't bother!!

Best of luck!!!

Answer 4

Take the ring back to the seller and keep the money. if you cannot figure out where it came from pawn it and give him the pawn receipt. He can go pay to get it back. If you were the one to break it off it would be a different matter.

If he is worried about assets he has his mommy's.

Use the money to go on a vacation , if it was worth anything.

Next time DO NOT date a guy who is over 30 and lives with Mommy.
You really did not want to marry a guy who had had balls removed by his mother anyway.

Answer 5

Unless your fiance owes your mother money, she can't take his assets. But the answer to your question is no. You don't have to give the ring back if he called it off. You only have to return the ring if you break off the engagement. Your fiance needs to get some courage (I would use another word if I could) and stand up to his mother. He needs to move out if he is ever going to stay in a relationship. Take this as a blessing because you could have ended up with a mother in law from hell.

Answer 6

Did he give you the ring in conjunction with say your Birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas or any other traditional gift-giving day?
If so, I would think you could keep it without any question.
Unless, of course, it is a family-heirloom of his family. Any family-heirloom has to be returned in the event of an engagement break-up or divorce w/o children from the marriage.
Is he asking for it back?
Why would you want it if he has asked for it back?
Regardless, if it were me, I'd probably drive up to his Mother's house and hand-deliver it to her...sounds like she needs it worse than you!! (Make sure you take a witness with you though...who knows but what she might claim never to have received it!!?? Gotta cover your butt!!)
And if you give it back to him personally, also have a witness!
Trust me, life is just too short for such foolishness.
If he has been with you for two years and his Mother still pulls his strings like that, and he choose his "assets" over a life with you, you are better off without him in your life.

Answer 7

dont give it back!!! pawn it and get yourself something nice like a down payment for a nice condo ( assuming the ring is worth anything). First of all like most of the people said here if he still lives with mom that should be a red flag right there! Plus if hes letting him mommy run his life like that at this age you honey were going to live a life of hell and "mom does it this way you should too!" Good Luck and i hope find a great condo with a great view!

Answer 8

He obviously has issues! Ok, the ring was a gift and even Judge Judy will tell you, NO, you do Not and should not give it back. Think of it this way, its just a little bit of pay for the 2 years of your life that you invested. To hell w/ him....get your hair did and go clubbing honey.....Even if you don't find a man, have a ball! Pawn it and take the $$ toward a new apt!

Answer 9

I don't really understand what you are talking about....are you saying he has to break up with you because his mother has threatened to take all his assets? Or are you saying you have to give the ring back because of this?

In any case, he sounds very strange if he will be manipulated by his mother like this and willing to damage things with you because of some crazy threat she made.

I would end it...and yeah give the ring back.

Answer 10

THROW the ring back at him......

So happy you are going to be a free woman..Any man who still lives with MOMMIE at 37 has alot of issues you REALLY don;t want to be a part of the rest of your life..This is a huge REDFLAG

ALSO if you noticed..MOMMY is and always will be the first priority and not YOU..

I would be insulted that anybodys MOTHER could financially blackmail them out of a relationship with a Woman they love...

RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While you got the chance to escape this situation...

OR he's got another girlfriend he prefers to you and HIS mother is his only excuse to squeeze out of the squeeze you put on him...by transferring your phone and giving up your apartment...