In june me and my bf found out that we were pregnant, but the baby was not growing so we had to have an abortion. I feel so guilty and i think about it everyday. What do I do? I can not forget about it!!!
2007-11-26 02:36:10 · 24 answers · asked by CHRISSY M 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Wow, I'm quite amazed at the responses you have gotten so far!!! Some people really don't understand that you can't just forget about it or explain it away.
My suggestion would be to look in the yellow pages under abortion alternatives (I know, strange place to look) and find a local pregnancy center or Birthright center. Call them and ask about support groups for women who have had abortions. If they are judgemental or rude than try somewhere else. I know many people who have found healing and help through these groups.
Good luck and God bless!!
2007-11-26 03:18:20 · answer #1 · answered by jujube 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they baby was noy growing then I wouldn't really consider it an abortion. It wasn't meant to happen then. The baby would have suffered thru life and been in pain. So I wouldn't consider it an abortion. It was more of a way to keep the baby from suffering. You did the right thing. Just remember that. You kept yourself healthy and the baby from suffering. If you feel like your up to it I've heard about women who've had abortions and thye name the baby and then write the baby letters and they treat the baby as those its just on a trip and they will see it soon. No you shouldn't forget it, But You do need to move on.
good luck
2007-11-26 02:46:49 · answer #2 · answered by Barbi & Logan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. Ive experienced an abortion and it is not nice. Not under the same circumstances as you though i didn't really have a choice my boyfriend threatened to leave me if i kept it and i didn;t want too bring a baby up alone. (yea i know nice guy!!) Anyway you have nothing to feel guilty about, you did exactly the right thing Hun, your baby wasn't growing right so think of the quality of life it would of have, that being if it survived the duration of your pregnancy. It is not a nice thing to go through but you have done nothing wrong. If it helps maybe think about seeing a councilor. You have got to keep telling yourself you did the right thing for your unborn child good luck x
2007-11-26 02:49:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your case, did you really have a choice??? I mean if your baby was not growing then odds are your body would of aborted it anyways. My suggestion to you is for you to really think it through. You had no choice and even if there was a choice, you must tell your self it is over and done with. There is nothing you can do to change it. Maybe the timing was not right and life has other plans for you. The was I see things is EVERYTHING happens for a reason, even if we can not understand that reason, or we do not believe in it. It happens and we must deal with it. What doesnt kill us will only make us stronger. I have had two miscarriages and one of which a DNC was done before the baby expelled itself. I do not consider it an abortion. The ultrasound showed a fetus of 6 weeks with no heartbeat and a uterus of 10 weeks gestation.
My guess is that baby was not meant to be, though I wanted it. Please dont beat your self up for what is already done, EXP since you didnt even choose to do it without reason.
2007-11-26 02:43:37 · answer #4 · answered by jag8625 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know its hard I have had the same problem for 2 1/2 years now. This is what I do to try to help deal with it even though the thought the wonder the guilt will never go away. its something that only you can deal with in your own way wether its talking to someone about it and releasing the emotions about it or writeing things down and everytime you think about it write it down. I ask myself everyday should have tryed to take care of the baby and went through the whole pregency but then if thats what I should have down other anwsers would have been there. You helped that child out by not letting them suffer its hole life with a disabilty. God gives you ways to make things better and I know that god does not beleive in abortions but he only gives you what you can handle. I feel for you and I am so sorry you had to go through this.
2007-11-26 02:46:19 · answer #5 · answered by Kira L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. The way I would look at it is that maybe the time was not right and if you had went through it would have caused serious medical problems for you and your baby. Nothing happens before its time. You will never forget it but you have to keep in mind that it is not your fault. Whenever you get pregnant again, keep a positive mind and show your baby all the love in the world.
2007-11-26 02:47:31 · answer #6 · answered by Grant N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not really consider that an abortion. You didnt not do the dnc because you wanted to, but because it sounded like there was a problem with the baby. It is hard, and it will take awhile to get over, just like if you had a miscarriage. Maybe try looking up some support groups online, it may make you feel better to know you are not alone.
2007-11-26 02:42:35 · answer #7 · answered by tracy b 2 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm well getting an abortion is hard but think of the good things not negative. If the baby was not growing , and it was alive and you kept it,. It would suffer and you wouldn't want it to suffer. So abortion can be used in good ways and bad ways. You used it in a good way. It was eithe ryou would of died if it was not aborted but the baby would die anyway. so you used it good. i would say never forget it but you did that baby somthing. You let your child rest in peace& not suffer :) At least he's in a good place and god will ake care of it. =D
2007-11-26 02:47:26 · answer #8 · answered by Becca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time to grieve. Don't expect to just get over it. You lost a baby, and from the sounds of it, not by choice. Its not your fault that this didn't work out. I hear that alot of girls first pregnecys usually miscarry. If the baby wasn't growing that would have happened anyways, and I'm sure your doctor did what he felt was right.
I know this hurts, and it doesn't have to be something you just get over. But you can always try again in the future when your ready. These kinds of things stick with you, but eventually you start to heal and move on.
2007-11-26 02:42:15 · answer #9 · answered by Kellie 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I want to say that I am so sorry for your loss and I want to tell you one thing. Girl, you did the best you could do for your baby. You only wanted make sure your child would have a normal healthy life. I know and understand the feeling of guilt you may be experiencing, but please try to not feel that way. It may take a while but try to do activities that distract you from thinking about it for now. You sound like a strong woman, so again do not feel guilty or hateful to yourself. You did the best you could do.
2007-11-26 02:44:32 · answer #10 · answered by beachbabie18 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋