Is anyone else at a low? want to learn to trust my fella again after he told a few stupid lies, how do I do?

Question

this? he can be controlling in some ways but I adore him, just want to learn how to build the trust?

not about cheating he's never done anything that bad only told a few lies as he didn't wanna hurt my feelings cuz he knew I'd go mad

so how do I rectify things now?

Answer 1

A quick look at your question history indicates you are a "high maintenance " individual.
Many of your problems border on OCD.

You may need to step back and quit making a normal guy things like porn and adult store receipts into relationship trust issues.

You have created the rules of his behavior, decided he has violated them, and now have turned it into a lying/trust fight because he chose to be evasive about it.
Frankly he should have said, "yes I look at porn, you got a problem with that?" Then you could decide if you want to leave the relationship for it or get over it. From the tenor of your questions it is a strong possibility that you are not able to get over much.

You do not have to build the trust here. You need to quit setting unrealistic expectations which result in a relationship failures.
Porn is not cheating. In fact it is an option to avoid cheating.
Yet you have made it into deal breaker. If that is the case just be upfront about it and quit making into a lying/trust argument.
Go tell all your friends that you broke up because he watched porn and see the reactions, looks of puzzlement. It is so much easier to say I left him because he lied and I can't trust him. You made it into that issue, was it for an easier justification?
It seems that you really need to learn how to chose your battles more carefully.

Answer 2

"he's never done anything like that" LMAO like what? Like cheating. You are obviously young and you haven't learned anything yet. Here are some facts for the future:

1. There is no Santa
2. All men cheat
3. Marriage sucks
4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)

Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want honest answers from a man that doesn't
lie anymore.

Answer 3

Unfortunately there will probably never be complete and total trust. Especially if he's lied (no matter how minor) more than once. All you can do is learn how to forgive and move on. If you can't so that, then you need counseling or you may need to leave him. He also needs to make changes, you aren't the only one expected to deal w/ his "stupid lies". Just my opinion and personal experience.

Answer 4

Everyone lies. It is just that simple. If these were little stupid lies like you tell us then just brush it off and go about your day. If he is lying to you about seeing someone else or something major then you need to broach the subject. Without any more specific information this is the best answer I can give. Good luck.

Answer 5

can never build any trust if he's lying... ultimatum... for him... tell him to stop the lies or it's over...! liars never make it anywhere good in life...never... a few lies? means he lies about other stuff you have not found out about yet... lied because he thought u'd go mad? well, now you are double mad, for him doing it and then for lying about it! not a very intelligent man, is he, lol...

Answer 6

It's hard to rebuild trust, especially if the lies were about cheating. It just takes time and communication. If that doesn't work maybe it is time to move on.

Answer 7

It's going to take time and he has to appreciate the situation you are in, so don't let him rush you.
I think it's going to come down to communication on both parts.

Answer 8

That is going to be very hard when you live with a lying contoling man. I wouldn't but I am not you.

Answer 9

more than.likely the trust will never be there ,...... if you aint got it now i will be a hard thing to gain back for him ..... good luck ...

Answer 10

i am in the same boat you are in....so when you find out how to trust your man again let me know.