What do you think of my poem "House of the Dead: My Home Too"?

Question

I looked around
The sky was interesting
The moon was in the white sky and the sun was going down

I looked around
There were comforters and comfortees
I was suppose to be a comforter

I looked around like a tourist
as if the funeral-to-be was a spectacle
I was in my role of observer
and I saw my co-worker’s white face
without makeup was still quite pretty
Did her grief add to or subtract from her beauty?

I saw the mounds of dirt
some with flowers and some without
I tried not to think what it meant
what those mounds of dirt meant

The wife of the dead man fainted
I had been told that she didn’t love her husband
Then I remembered my friend telling me
the dead man took too long to die
the family prayed for his death

I looked around at the death party
Some people looked quite ordinary
as if this was just an ordinary outing
they exchanged pleasantries and made small talk
After the father of my co-worker was buried
I waited on line for my turn to hug her and say I’m sorry

As we rode in the car, leaving the dead behind
we were quite boisterous
One of the women called her daughter
to discuss what they had for lunch

The mounds of dead with or without flowers
The mourners crying or not crying
The moon’s turn to dominate while the sun is going down
And I am trying for once in my life not to think,
think that I will be home soon

Answer 1

Well the poem itself was okay, I hope your state of mind is not in there somewhere, watch the sun come up some morning and see if that inspires you.

Answer 2

I think its ok just the time of day seems too off the time funerals are generally taking place. Or maybe the sun setting and the moon rising is more of an abstract thing either way im not that into poems.

Answer 3

this is a solid study and/or authentic commentary. in spite of the fact that i'm a realist, have faith greater in upbeat areas of existence and there is in no way too a lot humor -- hence does no longer complate your offering very long in any respect. -- no offense meant.