its been 11 years since my parents split, still they hate each others guts, my mum blames EVERYTHING on my dad since the split, he was unfaithful to her but stuff since then he cant really be held responsible for! why cant she move on she has a new partner as does he!
2007-11-26 00:33:09 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unfortunately people can hold on to bitterness for a long time even if they have moved on. My parents are the same they were divorced about 23 years ago and still hate being in the same room as each other and will make stupid snide comments, they've both got long term partners and it drives me nuts sometimes as both me and my brother have children and obviously there are family does we like them both to be at. To be honest theres not much you can do, don't listen or join in with any snide comments remind them that the other person is still your parent no matter what and its not fair on you to do that. I'm divorced myself and sincerely hope I won't be like that when my son grows up. Just be the adjult and hopefully they'll grow out it eventually, good luck x
2007-11-26 00:41:53 · answer #1 · answered by Tina B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that the past is the past and it's wrong to blame after events on an x partner - but im ashamed to say that I am guilty of that. The divorce caused a lot of pain for all of us that it has done some irrepairable damage. I have moved on from that but he still has no contact with our children, sends £0 money and has lied to everyone about the split.
Im sure you have better things to do than read about my problems, but hopefully you see that there are a lot of people that carry on to be affected by a split and also affected by what comes after the split. I hope your parents dont put you in the middle, that must be awful.
I hope this helps, **
2007-11-26 01:29:59 · answer #2 · answered by Claire 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not all bitterness, it's also called "Pain". Some can't stop the pain, even if it seems they have moved on with new partners. Because he did her wrong, in her mind he always will be responsible for the other things that pop up.
I've tried to over come bitterness after divorce. I'm thinking maybe it is finally passed, but the pain when I have to be around them is still there.
2007-11-26 00:53:20 · answer #3 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like they will ever get over their bitterness unfortunately. The only way it can happen is if they let go of it themselves. What a waste to still be bitter after 11 years. If they are saying negative things to you about each other then just tell them you don't want to hear it because it is your parent and their problem not yours.
2007-11-26 00:38:01 · answer #4 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother was the scorned woman so the hurt and betrayal she felt from your dads affair has probably never left her. She may not have forgiven him which would leave her bitter especially if she is not happy and he is married again????
It is a shame she has not moved on but some just cannot forgive such betrayal.......
Also maybe it is easier for her to hate him than to love him? The two can be closely linked.
2007-11-26 03:40:03 · answer #5 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, optimistically i'm able which could be sensible you biblically right here. curiously you married a non believer. The bible states to no longer go away a non believer, that you are able to "win" them over along with your existence type. yet , in the journey that they opt for to go away you, you aren't any further sure to them. in reality, its between the freebies to divorce. You state that you left your husband, yet you probably did not divorce him. Leaving someone who's abusing isn't forbidden, in reality, it truly is something you should have achieved. the very incontrovertible reality that your ex husband totally embraced his new got here across freedom is evidence that leaving him changed into an outstanding element. Biblically, you at the instantaneous are loose to remarry. God in his personal timing will deliver you an outstanding Christian guy. try very puzzling to stay faraway from non believers, you are able to o.k. finally end up contained in the very similar subject back. the autumn out on your newborn could be an similar in spite of the very incontrovertible reality that you husband is seeing different women human beings. reality learn, your newborn could be having an similar complications if he had to spend time faraway from you at 3 a million/2 along with your husband even if you had stayed with him. It would not sound as in the journey that your husband is taking his function of determine as significant married or no longer. make confident you're taking a even as to enable your youthful son comprehend how proud you're of him for the circumstances that he shows that he's a "huge boy" and is going to daycare and his fathers without appearing out. enable him comprehend precisely even as he will be picked up by you from daycare or perhaps as he will be coming domicile from his fathers domicile. probability is that as his father calms down and forestalls attempting to proceed to punish you, that he will also provide up utilising the newborn as leverage. As he receives on inclusive of his worldly existence, he will enable go and locate yet another female to punish and then you'd be loose from his emotional abuse.
2016-10-25 02:23:15 · answer #6 · answered by kaspari 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone should tell her to stop being so selfish. Can't she see the unhappiness she's causing you? Maybe it's time to get her to face the facts - life goes on, and it's too short to let what happened in the past taint the present and future.
2007-11-26 00:38:10 · answer #7 · answered by jet-set 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's been 11 years then it is probably not going to get any better. Just don't get caught in the middle!
2007-11-26 01:09:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know this must be very difficult for you but its not easy at all for your mother. she will never forget the hurt and pain she suffered because of your fathers selfishness. I know this because ive been there. she isnt doing any of it to hurt you and its impossible for her to have any relationship with your father. the hatred is so strong unfortunately im sorry but it never goes away. i wish they would just not talk to each other and communicate through letters or solicitors etc this is what i do. my children have suffered and i know they would love to see us friends but i would rather die than for him to be my friend....you dont know what your mother went through when her heart was broken so please accept her decision to hate your father... as i have always said to my children.... i met your father as a stranger, ye are my blood.... she doesnt have to talk to him EVER...sorry
2007-11-26 07:05:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate is also a sign of love... maybe that's why they keep it going. I know many people that love each other but can't live with each other.
2007-11-26 00:41:24 · answer #10 · answered by max 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋