i had family over for the holidays and my husband really don't like having a bunch of kids around, but he said it was ok and did fine! but yestrurday (sunday) we were going to drive by a house and look, and when we walked out of the computer room, my puppy ran out, he is used to me closing the door, and my husband kicked him, i said you don't have to kick my dog! not in a mean or bad way, and he just got all irate and told me if i said anything else he would file bankrupcy and walk with nothing but what he has on his back, i asked him what i did, he wouldn't answer me! then about 5 min after we quit talking he walked out, and come back 2 1/2 hours later!! and i was packing!! he asked me to stay atleast till the sale of our other property was final, so we could pay off some bills including my car!! ok i agreed, and we talked for about an hour! he kept saying i have changed since i found my sister, and i have lost all interest, but won't tell me in what way!!!!
2007-11-26 00:23:43 · 7 answers · asked by angelbecky32 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we really don't do anything! i still cook for him, and get up every morning that he has to work and fix him a sandwich for his lunch, if he ask me to do something i do it!! the only thing he will tell me is that i am not the same as i was when we first got together, 7 years ago, but neither is he! the only thing i can think of that he is talking about is because i tore my rotator cuff at work and now i can not get out and do anything with him like i used to!! our garage needs fininshed, (taped and mudded) and i was working on that but i can not hold my arm up like that, or pick anything up with it!! people we know has had a torn rotator cuff and told him what it is like but i guess he feels that they are lieing to him. i have tried to make this work, but nothing i do helps!!! he even said that before he could make me happy, but now he can't, but he can, and has!!! i ask him what he means, but he will not answer me, even my daughter has asked, but he refuses to tell us!!
2007-11-26 00:35:47 · update #1
yes he did say stay altleast till the house sells!!
2007-11-26 00:36:51 · update #2
he said he went to his sisters!! but i do not know for sure!!
2007-11-26 00:40:37 · update #3
i have tried to show him that i can have him and my sister in my life, even though he bought a truck just a week ago, and my name was only on it as transfer on death, when every other vehichle we have had has had both our names on it, i let it go and was being my jolly old self, and yes i still txt my sister and checked my e-mails, but i gave him a hug even if he didn't give me one, and when i acted like i was all happy, he asked what i was happy about!! most of the time i am lucky to see my sister once a month, she lives 175 miles away(one way) there has been 2 months this whole year that i have seen her 2 times a month, except this month we seen eachother 3 times!!
2007-11-26 00:50:32 · update #4
He sounds like he is full of anger... kicking the puppy, even blaming your sister for the distance he has put between the two of you due to his lack of communication. There is obviously something deeper bothering him. Maybe he feels pressure from the bills, maybe he is angry at the world. Was he like this before? He is acting like a Drama King. Just be all right with yourself, because as much as we love someone we cannot alter their behavior. If he won't talk to you and tell you what is really wrong, you won't be able to help him or help the relationship get better.
2007-11-26 01:09:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the fact that he won't open up and talk to you makes any advice guesswork. Could he be upset that you are giving him less attention than in the past?
You were looking at another house--to purchase it as your
new home or as a business deal? Are you two already planning to separate? There are some pieces of your puzzle that are missing in your explanation.
If you have recently found your sister, naturally you'll want to revive your relationship. I should think your husband would understand. His behavior, as you describe it, does sound unreasonable. He apparently has one or more expectations (reasonable or not) of you that you are not meeting OR perhaps he's now interested in someone else and doesn't want to admit it. As a result, he may be looking for something--anything--to blame on you so he will have an excuse to end your relationship with him.
Kicking the dog is not only cruel, but it's a sign of displaced anger. Clearly, your husband is frustrated and on edge about something that is not easy for him to talk about. It could be stress that's work-related or from another source. Try to get him to talk or get him to a counselor.
ADDITIONAL INFO:
A year ago I fell on the ice and dislocated my shoulder. For a while, the nerves in my arm were not responding and the doctor was unsure whether I would regain use of my injured arm. I tried to dress myself and do my normal household chores, but it was a challenge. (It's tough trying to slice a tomato, fold a sheet or blow dry/style your hair with one hand!)
My husband helped me, but I could tell that he was frustrated at the turn of events. While we were still unsure of whether or not I'd regain use of my arm, I asked him if he was mad that I was injured and, ashamed to admit it, he said, "Well, yeah."
"I bet you thought I'd be the one taking care of you in your old age, not the other way around," I said.
"That's right!" he said.
It's not that my husband dislikes handicapped people, it just that he didn't expect to be married to one. Fortunately, my condition improved and his fear of a changed lifestyle vanished. My arm will never be 100%, but my relationship with my husband is back to normal now.
I hope you recover fully from your injury, but in the meantime try to be as self-sufficient as possible so your husband can feel that things are more normal for the two of you, too. Good luck!
2007-11-26 08:37:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
sounds as if a bit of jealousy has creeped in, maybe he think that finding your sister, has taken time away from him. He asked you to say ...surely he wasn't meaning just til the house sells, he figured out he was wrong, but some men just can't some out and say it. Take some time together for the two of you. Maybe the new addition to your family, is a bit much for him. Not sure how much of your time is invested now with her, but try not to change to much. Things aren't as normal as they used to be, and it's a change for him...and you both. Set aside time for her, but most importantly, he 's your husband, don;t change things around him.
2007-11-26 08:30:30 · answer #3 · answered by Chocolate_Bunny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he has some serious issues to work on.kicking the dog is a no,no.where did he go for 2 hrs??? it sounds like he is looking for a way out and wants to turn it all around on you.and he cant come up with a answer to tell you how you changed.
2007-11-26 08:34:31 · answer #4 · answered by heretohelp 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is being a big old baby because all your attention is not on him. He needs to grow up or grow old alone...
2007-11-26 08:40:27 · answer #5 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
1.kick a animal is abuse do ont have children with him he has anger problems, he sound jealous. i would get faraway from him
2007-11-26 08:36:02 · answer #6 · answered by allison b 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
dont let him dump it on you because that is exactly what he is doing!
2007-11-26 08:32:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋