called the cops on my ex who came to pick up the kids. He shows up at random times, expecting me to give up the children whenever he comes to pick them up. I've adjusted my schedule for him, especially now that he has to work and so we've had a verbal agreement, different from the court order.
He's 2 hours early and the children are napping. I told him to come back at his scheduled time. He gets upset and rings the doorbell in succession, about three times, again. He's not waiting. I told him again, please come back. I'll have the children up and ready by that time. He starts shouting obscenities and then he kicks the outer screen door. He makes a pass for my car and kicks in the front of it. Then he takes off.
He left footprints on the door & busted my license plate cover. I called the cops and the officer didnt come until an hour later. He wouldn't even run his license. He said my ex didn't actually damage anything, and he has no priors so he can't arrest him.
Is this true?
2007-11-25 22:15:08 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the cops do not want to get involved with bickering ex spouses, and custody problems. I have had my fair share, and the cops told me "that is what courts are for"
2007-11-25 23:52:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call you local Women's Center. In Vermont, if he placed you in fear, you could recieve an order of protection and he would be arrested for domestic violence. The damages to your door and car indicate a threat and you children have been affected by his behavior. I suggest you contact someone there with experience handling these issues and get some protection for your self and the kids. It sounds like he uses his visitation to control you and uses the children as weapons in that control. Take back your life and stick to the court orders. That way he will be unable to manipulate you without returning to court to have the order modified. Then if he is in violation of that order you might be able to have the court enforce it in the future. You should not have to modify your life to his convenience. Call the crisis center and let them help you.
2007-11-25 22:26:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call the cops' superiors, and file for a new visitation agreement. Tell the superior officer that he was kicking your door, and busted the license plate cover when he kicked your car. Tell him that you were in fear that if he broke in, he would hurt you.
Use the police report when going to court for new visitation, unless he signs the agreement without having to go to court.
2007-11-25 22:19:32 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay if you are in California its not uncommon that it would take the police an hour to get there because they have to prioritize there calls byaamount of danger and urgency that is involved. if you call the cops again you need to tell them that you feel that the lives of your children and your self are at risk and that he my be armed (even if you know that hes not). this will set the priority of your emergency call higher and get a quicker response. then you need to get all the police report of when you call that way you have proof that he has a violent history and acts of vandalism. then talk to a social worker as soon as possible if you guys can't work it out on your own then you need to get the courts involved. you are not a victim unless you choose to be.
good luck
2007-11-25 22:33:32 · answer #4 · answered by justabitbitter147 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably. Police don't much get involved in domestic violence cases until someone is either critically injured or dead. It is a shame but that is reality. You on the other hand can do something about it. Make sure you keep a record of the dates and times that he pulls his stunts and when you call the police and go to your district justice and file charges. Or you can call your local domestic violence center and they will be able to assist you. The domestic violence center we have here assists women with all kinds of court issues and they provide many other services. They would definitely be able to help and give you all kinds of info and resources.
2007-11-25 22:25:38 · answer #5 · answered by mariarh79 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The man is out of control and it's time to get serious about preventing future problems.
Send him a registered letter spelling out future visitation times. ( You may need to send one each month if visitation changes) Keep a copy of the letter.
Have him pick up and drop off kids at a place other than your home. Your parent's, a friends, the police department. Allow one hour each for pickup and drop off times.
If he isn't there on time to get the kids, leave but don't go home.
Keep good records and get signed wittness statements when he doesn't meet his times.
If this doesn't fix things, you will have lots of evidence for court.
I had my x meet at police station for about a year and sent paper work telling him not to come on my property with out written permission. It was an inconvience for me, but removed all the drama.
2007-11-25 22:32:23 · answer #6 · answered by ruby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably.
license plate frames break and so you can't really prove he did it and they only cost a few bucks anyway. If it cost more than that then it would have been stolen.
And I guess he didn't really hurt the door, just got it a little dirty.
so maybe start keeping a video camera handy to tape these little explosions of his. In case you need them to prove a pattern of behaviour.
2007-11-26 03:26:20 · answer #7 · answered by old-softy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he can b arrsest!!!
2007-11-25 22:17:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋