i'm 21 and my bf is 22 (he's 9 months older). we've been together for about 4 months and we've discussed marriage because i'm a religious christian and i want a real relationship that'd end in that. he's agnostic but he's willing to convert. but the last time we talked about children, he wound up refusing and when i asked him why he said it's because he's not white (he's a brownish arab) and he doesn't want dark-skinned children in a mostly white country (we live in the us) because he doesn't want them to have the same identity crisis he had or face the same prejudice he faced. he said i have english, irish, italian, and lithuanian blood and i shouldn't water it down with his north african blood. i don't know what to do. i'd rather have my own children than adopt or be artificially inseminated, but i respect his experience and i love him very much. maybe behind closed doors i think he has a point.
2007-11-25 21:46:50 · 15 answers · asked by M 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
i think you should have children..
because nowadays there are many couples who do this, I know a couple who have done this and they have a very beautiful child who is a light olive colour.
good luck to both of you =)
2007-11-25 21:50:51 · answer #1 · answered by gahskug 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One day, a friend of mine who is bi-racial (black/white) asked me what race she was. I didn't know how to answer her because she was both races. But most people look at her and assume she's a light-skinned black.
I thought about that question for a long time, and only now that I read your question do I have an answer--and it's the same answer I would give my friend.
This country (America) is racially conscious. That means when anyone meets you, they have to classify you into a particular group. Only later when a person or people get to know you do they identify you as an individual person. In other words, you may be of a certain race or background, but people have gotten to know you as "you."
To my friend and to you, my answer is this. Your children will be identified by the color of their skin no matter what race they are (or a part of). Tell them this. As they grow up, they will develop their own identity. Just like watching a flower bloom, they will become who they are, not what people tell them they are.
2007-11-25 21:59:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congrats ~~~~ This is a hard decision.. I would go over and do a short test of some kind to be sure it is in working order. and if so.. when U pack, put all the items you are gonna need the most in a box. cause moving things can be hard to find, if not put away.. It usually days a day or so to get organized when moving.. If the stove passes the test... then start fresh in your NEW HOME.. so you even cook a day late.. oh, well... unless it is for many ppl .. who cares.. ? Just take it slow and easy.. and enjoy the move.. cook up a few meals ahead of time to freeze.. as not have to scrabble for something to eat once you get in there and it will save time for your other meals.. Good luck.. and God bless..
2016-05-25 23:52:35 · answer #3 · answered by liliana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What?! We all face predjudice...no matter what color we are...it's part of life. And there are ignorant people still out there. I'm black and Mexican and I'm a proud Blaxican...LOL! Yeah I got picked at sumtimes when I was younger but who doesn't? You're either to poor, too rich, too ugly, too pretty, too tall, too short etc... Sounds like he's just making an excuse not to have kids at all. I mean there is so much racial mixing nowadays pretty soon there will be no such thing as white, black etc...he doesn't have a point...he has an opinion and if you don't agree with it you need to discuss it with him and if y'all can't compromise than I suggest you start looking for another man...if you do agree then good luck. =0)
2007-11-25 22:18:03 · answer #4 · answered by Blaxican 4 Lyfe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he is not as committed to the relationship as you are, OR perhaps he has pressure from his family and is too shy to make a stand.
You are both very young and really have lots of time to really get to know each other and discover if you are compatible.
Keep talking. Don't be discouraged, but do NOT read more into his statements than he means. Perhaps consult with your family or priest or pastor?
2007-11-25 21:54:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anisah S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you can't force him to impregnate you,and if his opinions matter to you alternatives may be the only answer for you both,otherwise find a guy that is willing to have children with you,by you..Remind him that he did survive the torment he endured due to his race,and children will too,making them stronger and tolerant of others..=)
2007-11-25 21:55:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you say you're a Christian, then you shouldn't even be involved romantically with this guy, because he's evidently not saved. Have you not read what the bible says about being yoked unequally together with unbelievers? As far as him converting later, good luck with that. I heard that line way too many times.
2007-11-25 21:52:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My dear this is nonsense and if your boyfriend cant love you for what you and he is and lets prejudice get in the way of love well do i need to say more love has no boundaries no race no colour
but he is a sensible lad and looking for problems that may affect his future child he shows responsibility and good on him but if you love each other go for it Dave
2007-11-25 21:52:44 · answer #8 · answered by Psycho Dave 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are parts of the country that have large populations of non-white people. Move there. Your kids will be in the majority not the minority.
2007-11-25 21:51:53 · answer #9 · answered by BeBop62 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your bf's situation and thoughts are understandable, he doesnt want to pass along the troubles and pains..but you can promise him that no matter what you may have to face, you have the courage to support and stand by him..give your bf some time to think it over, God bless you guys!
2007-11-25 21:51:09 · answer #10 · answered by Fallen&Broken 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋