So, my bf and I have been in an LDR for a year and a half. We've been fighting quite a bit lately (LDR= trust issues) it kinda comes with the territory. He springs on me tonight that I'm too controlling and he "needs some time to think." I assume we're "on a break" (translation: split up and okay to screw around) he says no, he just needs to think. What the F does that mean? Is he just stringing me along? Is there someone else? I just don't get it. In one breath, he's talking about moving here, in the next he's telling me how moving will kill his career. Is he trying to tell me something with all of this doubletalk? HELP?????
2007-11-25 17:35:15 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
LDR= Long Distance Relationship (about 3,000 miles long!)
2007-11-25 17:44:30 · update #1
I am just an old fashioned man of 60, so I have no reason to say what I am about to say. Your boy friend had a long term relationship with you. That means he got all the benefits without having any of the commitments. In other words he got sex without having to say I do. I assume that you live in different towns. He is tired of driving to get you into bed. He has probably either found someone closer to home or is looking for someone closer to home.
My personal advice is do nothing. Wait until he calls or shows up at your door (change the locks) and say that you need some time to think about our relationship. You need more than just a bed partner, you want a husband. If he runs, that is your answer. If he stays, tie him down to a date. My feeling is that he will run.
2007-11-25 17:44:22 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't be good in any case. He wants space and "controlling" means he resents your input. What is LDR? Since LDR= trust issues does LDR mean there have been occasions where he has had opportunity to "play the field"?
Living together? All the benefits of marriage without the committment, loyalty thing (wish I had thought of that).
If you can't stand the heat he's turning up, you have to get out of the kitchen.
2007-11-25 17:42:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is confused. You sound like a very head strong person, you maybe crowding him. If you keep it up, you will lose him all together. He may not want to see other people, but if you keep pushing him, then he just might. You too should be thinking of his career. He is doing a smart thing. If he moves and it doesn't work out, then he is screwed. So with that in mind, you being bold and up front, he is confused and feels pushed. Back off a little and let him think as he have stated.
2007-11-25 17:42:25 · answer #3 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't know enough of the conversations. Could be that u have been putting a lot of pressure on him. Could be that you haven't thought of his career. Carrer/money are definite concerns for a guy and should be for you too. I suggest you back off and start realistically thinking about things.. try to put the jealousy aside... unless you have any proof of anything.
Do some thinking of your own. Make a list of a future plan.. including money etc. You are not dependent on his decision.. you should make some of your own.
2007-11-25 17:46:12 · answer #4 · answered by mosaic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's either confused or just scared to just come out with the truth that it's over for him. Now my bet is on he's confused. I don't know how old you are therefore I don't know your guys maturity levels. But if you are indeed old enough to start planning your lifes with each other in it, it's a scary process. You need to just sit him down and ask him point blank what is really going on. If he loves you he'll be honest, whether that be good news or bad news. If he still dodges the converstation then walk away. He is done with you but doesn't know how to tell you.
2007-11-25 17:41:18 · answer #5 · answered by II 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is saying just that, he needs to think, everything that is going on all the fights is weighing him down maybe he is tired of it and doesn't know where to go, he tries to fix but things get worse because of the ldr everything just sinks deeper and deeper into a hole and he doesn't know how to fix it so both sides can get along.
2007-11-25 17:39:30 · answer #6 · answered by Shadow tear 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you asked yourself if you are too controlling? What else do you talk about that might be an issue, keep talking!!
Maybe he's in a rough time at work and needs to focus his time their - ask and maybe you'll receive, if not it's a sign that the communication is not good
2007-11-25 17:48:35 · answer #7 · answered by diver down below 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a long distance! 3,000 miles away? In England? What's his name? Maybe he's seeing someone else? Does he need this break this comming weekend? I'd say move on.
2007-11-25 17:50:11 · answer #8 · answered by ღ♥Jess♥ღ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships are normally a set up for disaster....
If he is being wishy washy, not giving straight answers and beating around the bush, he probably wants out.
You are a pretty young woman.. you can do better.
2007-11-25 18:08:20 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him and find someone local. If you're in Florida look me up. LDRs never work!
2007-11-25 17:54:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋