Will this be called as cheating?

Question

Married few months back, currently away from my husband for my job. My ex of 1 year or so calls me often. And we two feel so comfortable talking to each other. He is sorry for cheating and being rude to me. He is depressed. He never ask me to come back, just he wants me to be around him. Will this be cheating? I have not been able to say No to his calls. Somehow we two get talking and get peace out of it.

Answer 1

Can you tell your husband that a guy has been calling you? If not, it's cheating.

Answer 2

The fact that you are even asking tells you that you are doing somethign wrong. How would your husband feel if he knew what you were doing?

Cheating isn't always physical. Cheating is more often emotional. You said yourself "You have not been able to say no to his calls." No one is forcing you to answer the phone. The person you need to be talking to in order to find that peace is your husband. The fact that you are seeking it elsewhere is cheating. Nothing has happened yet, but you are heading down a path that will only lead you to a place you don't want to go, with your husband hurt in the process.

Answer 3

Soni,
I have read many of your questions and they seem to revolve around the idea that you are in a bad marriage. But it seems to me that you have two issues here. If you will permit me, I will attempt to handle them one at a time.

Your marriage - I tend to make things as simple as possible. If your husband is all you say he is or isn't (and I have no reason to doubt you) then get out of it. There is no reason to spend the rest of your life in a bad situation. Divorce for an Indian girl can be challenging as I know some in that situation. But it is not the end of the world. It can be just the start of the rest of your life.

Your ex - all I can say about this is if he cheated once, it is always easier the next time. I ask you, if your marriage was good, would you even be talking to your ex? I think not. Having your marriage crumble is not a time to be looking behind... look ahead Soni. If you drive, you are sure to realize that the mirror used to look behind is quite small.... but the window in front of you is so much larger. What I think you need to do is rid yourself of both of these guys. A cheater is......just that..... a cheater. A leopard never changes his spots and I am sorry to say cheaters don't either. And you are hearing this from a guy.

Straighten out your first mess...your marriage, and then cut off your ties with your ex. I know you won't, but in my heart, that is what I believe you should do.

Come on Soni, there is a great big world waiting out there for you. I am sure there is someone out there waiting to meet someone just like you to treat you like you never have been treated before.

I'm rooting for you.

Answer 4

Not until feelings crept back into the two of you and start doing silly things. I think many guys can tolerate a friendly chat, but not all of them. And also you need to know his true purpose of calling you back. Because you're married, he might be thinking of sleeping with you and without any commitment and love for you, and your husband will be left to pick up the pieces. Once trust is lost, it might be lost forever.

In this world today, an honest, mature and open relationship will create trust and love, don't take it away from yourself. One broken relationship after another would not be an ideal way to live your life - past is past. Just move on. Take care.

Answer 5

No it is not cheating. However, this part is questionable:

"He never ask me to come back, just he wants me to be around him."

That is a problem in my opinion, and if you ask your husband, he will probably feel the same way. It sounds like your ex has an ulterior motive. There is no other reason he should need to "be around you". He needs to move on with his life. If he wants to hang out thats cool, and really, your husband should be fully aware as well.

Answer 6

It's understandable to still have a close friendship with someone you were in a relationship with. As long as you are just talking with him I wouldn't consider it cheating, but make sure he doesn't have any feelings left for you because that might cause problems in your marriage. It might also be a good idea to tell your husband about it, so he doesn't find out about it from another person and suspect something worst.

Answer 7

Not spending time with him, but...I wouldn't try to hide this from your husband. Be straight up with your husband before things get out of hand. I wouldn't suggest going to spend time with your ex, especially right now. He's only your ex of one year, and being married for only a few months...maybe let more time pass before getting together and spending time as friends. If he has any hopes of getting back together with you and since you haven't been able to "say No to his calls", things could get out of hand really easily.

There's nothing wrong with becoming friends with him, but tell your husband about it and don't hide anything. Maybe it'll help you guys to get some closure (especially him) about your past relationship, but at the same time, both your husband and your ex could take it the wrong way.

Answer 8

That does not sound like cheating but could very well head in that direction. Since you are away from your husband and he seems to be the one taking up his slack. But you or your husband have no problem with you talking to your ex husband there should not be a problem

Answer 9

I've been in this situation. When I first got together with my current husband, my ex-husband started calling and apologizing for treating me like dirt and cheating on me. He was actually still with the woman he cheated with, so that puzzled me.
He kept sending me cards saying how sorry he was, and even had the nerve to send me an anniversary card after we were already divorced! I figured out that even though he didn't want me, he still wanted me to want him. He wanted me to be hanging on and waiting for him just in case he ever decided to come back into my life.
Tell him to get lost. He wants to break up your marriage, but he still doesn't want to be with you. He wants to be in control of the situation. The fact that you are secretly talking to him means there is some sort of emotional connection between you, and means that you are not over him.
Break it off before it gets out of hand, and be thankful for the man you are with now.

Answer 10

It's not cheating if you tell your husband about it. But some how i think it will turn into something more. If you can't refuse his calls you obviously have a problem saying no.

if you keep it friendly and inform your husband then there is nothing you are hiding.

I still hang out and talk to my ex and my husband knows and is not threatened, but it's strictly PLATONiC!

Answer 11

This isn't but you are well on the way...i believe you took some vows or something like that on your marriage didnt you? You are not single now you are someone's wife. Thats not same as when you met your ex for the first time. Put that well into your mind. Just let him know that you no longer are angry with him for what he did to you. But anymore feelings for him and you are going to land yourself and your relationship in deep trouble.

Instead of asking us just put yourself in your husband's shoes and ask yourself the same question. How would you feel if your husband is staying away from you and regularly meeting his ex girl friend who just wants him to be around her?