Married, 15 years, last had sex the day my nine month old was conceived. Wife has a bit of a medical problem due to childbirth, so I can understand the last nine months although the first nine I can't. She tells me she's getting better, will be better soon, etc, but won't go to a doctor. Last excuse was that she would wait until after the first of the year and then get an appointment. At my wit's end, closest we've come to sex in 18 months is a kiss on the cheek. Just plain tired of it. Any suggestions, and yes I have tried romance, getaways, flowers, etc. She has no desire whatsoever and doesn't seem to care that I do, therefore no desire to do a little something for me occasionally even if we can't make love.
2007-11-25 17:17:22 · 12 answers · asked by doug k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go talk to your family doctor, maybe your wife has post-partum depression too? Just a thought....
2007-11-25 17:25:49 · answer #1 · answered by Calgarian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you - and i can imagine how fustrating it would be for u!
Well i suggest you get sum1 to look after the kids and take her away some place nice .. Then just open up to her and tell her straight up how u truely feel and try and get her to open up to u aswell.. Re-assure her that u love her so much and u still find her very attractive and give her nice lil compliments when ur away with her..It could be possible that she now has a low self esteem since after having baby...
Just be totally open on how u feel.. Ask her if theres anything she would like from u to make the relationship more interesting and to spark up the flame again!
i hope all goes well. Good luck xx
2007-11-25 18:00:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me that during her pregnancy she had some kind of chemical change happen within her body, or maybe she suffers from dreppression or maybe she doesn't feel attractive anymore. Whatever the reason, she must recognize the difference in her reaction towards you before and after the baby. You can't change what you won't acknowledge. Does she acknowledge this? If so , then hopefully she will be willing to seek out the help she needs to get things right with herself again. If it is important enough to you ,then don't give up. Hang in there!
2007-11-25 17:38:19 · answer #3 · answered by MellaBella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little something for you? lol Maybe she feels undesirable? Maybe she doesn't find you physically attractive? Or maybe she's tired. Taking care of an 18 month old is no trip! Why don't you try telling her how you feel about this? I hope you haven't cheated on her. Good luck.
2007-11-25 17:28:00 · answer #4 · answered by ღ♥Jess♥ღ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i have a suggestion -- try marriage or couples counseling... therapy works when we WORK it....
Women who have young children are sometimes not that sexual.. NATURE provides for this, so that the mother's attention is focused on the child... so partly, it's not her fault, BUT i'm sure that you DO want a good marriage and healthy sex life.
Perhaps talk with her about counseling for the two of you... maybe it would help you both.
2007-11-25 17:48:45 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my view, i could say, you only care about her health in order to fulfill your own wants and desires. yet, you claim she is the one that is being insensative to you. even your title, "how long do I put up with it". the "i" emphasises focus on you, and not your wifes health.
i do not know your wifes state, or what you call "medical" problems. if this is affecting her lifestyle, you need to explain to her the importance of a healthy state of mind and body. this is especialy true if you have a child. please use britney spears as an extreme example when people ignore their emotion problems. problems do not go away by themselves.
2007-11-25 17:46:22 · answer #6 · answered by Joshua's Dhrama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a womans sex drive starts in her mind not on a bed of flowers or over a good dinner. you need to really connect with her on a emotional and intellectual level. if this doesn't improve things you may need to see a professional. good luck.
2007-11-25 17:26:04 · answer #7 · answered by Roxanne G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's just so wrong, guy.....have you had a look? Were there any tears, or anything that may not have healed properly? Maybe she is scared of pain? Short of couple counseling, I don't know what else you can do. [please, don't cheat]
2007-11-25 17:25:41 · answer #8 · answered by Linni 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds as though she either does not want you, for whatever reason, or she has mental problems, i would get out.
2007-11-25 17:26:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
your wife is doing someone else
2007-11-25 17:56:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋