how can i fix my marriage?

Question

every thing i do im wrong when i tyr and do what she wants im wrong when i do it differnt im wrong i love her with all my heart and soul and she is close to stoping it all ive been a real *** hole in past and done thing that im not proud of and mess up a lot

Answer 1

They're always right.. You have to think that and you will be much happier.. Really though, you messed up in the past and you have to know that it gave her the right to pay you back for the rest of your life. So don't get bent out of shape and take your payback. While your at it tell her you love her and don't do anything wrong anymore. You don't have to be weak or take abuse but you must be humble. If she is a good woman she will notice that you have changed and slowly start treating you like a human, maybe a few years. If she gets wrapped up in treating you bad as a payback, you might need to get counseling from outside so that she can see the big picture. By no means should you try to show her the big picture by explaining it to her. Possibly one of her friends may notice before she does that you have changed and deserve better treatment, she will listen to an outsider most times when it comes to such things. In my experience it is much easier to fix a marriage then to start a new one. Stick with it, life is so much better shared. In the end the marriage could still fail but don't think of that as you make it as good for her as you can. The better you make it for your wife, the better it is for you. Quit with the "I know I messed up but I am better now" crap though, that is just a game you are playing.. Get serious and just do it and don't say it...

Answer 2

I think that you should talk to her. Communication is the best thing that can help a marriage. She may find out that there are some things that she could change as well. Its not something that you can fix or change on your own. She has to willing to accept the change in order for it to work so it has to be a combined effort no matter what the change is. Good Luck. I hope this helps a little.

Answer 3

Fixed marriages last longer than love marriages because in societies where you have fixed marriage divorce is usually totally out of the question or saved for really extreme cases. In many cases fixed marriage is more of a business or a deal than what we call "marriage" in our society. Sometimes love comes later and sometimes not, but the deal is usually not meant to be broken. I personally prefer love marriage with all its disadvantages.

Answer 4

Talk to her honestly mate and ask her how she feels about things. Open communication is the key here. If the marriage is fixable then work on trying to fix it. If you don't do anything then you'll end up pushing each other away and will get a divorce which you may very well need if you can't fix it.

Answer 5

Sounds like you made some mistakes in the past that put your marriage in jeopardy. Have you asked her to forgive you? Has she forgiven you? And if she has have you forgiven yourself for what you have done? You might have to just do your best to earn her trust, she might be lacking that right now. I hope she is not scorned from what you did. Bottom line man, you have to do a lot of praying and convincing. God bless.

Answer 6

Focus on how you would like your marriage to be. It appears you are focusing on all you dont want. This will only create more of it! Maybe write down how you would like your marriage to be, and how you would like to be in your marriage. Start by writing down all that you would like and then explore ways of achieving this. Shift your focus to you and what you can control. Have a go! create all that you want...

Answer 7

Try counseling and being nice to her. Do things for her like helping around the house, fixing things, your duties. Rub her back, be kind and listen to her. Apologize profusely and pray a lot. :)

Answer 8

Aside from all the "solutions", it is clear that she is not in love with you. So far all your mistakes in the past, she has now broken your heart. Love is not enough and you are not going to find it in a house of egg shells or like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Answer 9

At least you're honest here.
I'd be honest with her also; and change while there's (almost none) time.
When women call it quits because we're a....holes, it's better to move on. Rarely a way back.

Answer 10

Have a good heart to heart talk with her, tell her basically what you wrote here to us, let her know how you feel about her, what you've done in the past...just communicate with her, she probably needs that.