He lately admitted that he's a married man. But he said, he is still single in status. His mother is still the sole beneficiary. He added that during the re-enlistment he will change the name of his beneficiary to my name and will acknowledge me to be his legal wife. Is this possible to military law? How about his first wife? Does she have the right to demand from him? They've been seperated for 3 years and agreed not to chase each other anymore. Thank you in advance for all your answers guys!
2007-11-25 16:21:10 · 15 answers · asked by Cheryl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He needs to get a divorce before you can marry him. It doesn't matter who he changes his beneficiary forms to, in most cases, his estate will still go to his surviving spouse, which will be his first wife.
How can you expect to marry somebody who is already married? I'm not sure what country you are from... but in most countries, it's not legal.
2007-11-25 16:27:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You cannot become his legal wife until he gets a legal divorce from his present wife.
He is not single. He is a married man ... to another woman.
Divorce should be simple & easy.
In some State .. being enstranged for that many years, makes divorcing even easier. He would need to check the laws of the State.
While he is married .. you are NOT in a win-win situation. Since he is married .. he can't marry you.
Have you check to make sure he is really married? Some people claim they are married - and they really are NOT married .. just so they don't have to marry whoever they are with at the time. Don't take his word for being married .. check public records. And .. sometime .. married people go back together. He and his wife could go back together today .. and pick up where they left off .. and it is perfectly legal. Where would that leave you?
He can tell someone you are his legal wife .. however - it will not hold anything .. it is not legal .. if he is married.
In some States .. when 2 people live together .. and they publically claim to be married .. they can be legally declared as common-law married .. however, this won't even work for you either ... if he really is married now.
They could divorce easily. Why would they want to remain married .. and just not chase after each other? Most people want to go on with their lives with other people.
It would be wise of you to first check the public marriage records for his marriage .. and even for a possible divorce. Then .. if he IS really married .. and wants you .. .tell him he has to get a divorce first .. he could probably file, and do, his own divorce.
It's your choice if you want to gamble your life, and your time, on a possibly married man.
Be wise .. and do your homework. Then make your decision accordingly.
2007-11-25 16:35:50 · answer #2 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of what he says, according to the law, he is still married. And he can be arrested, even in the military, because he has commited polygamy. This was outlawed years ago. He can tell you anything you want to hear, like how he will change the name of his beneficiary at re-enlistment. This is a man who lies and says he is single, then marries you, making you a part of his crime. He can't just acknowledge you as his legal wife...he isn't God and doesn't write the laws. Where is this man's head? He is telling you lies just to keep you linked to him. His wife is his wife, like it or not. She doesn't need to demand anything. When and if he dies before he divorces her, everything goes to her. Regardless of his words. The marriage is legal. FACT! Separation means just that...separation. The courts do not consider separation a divorce. He MUST get the divorce through the court system, and that will take some time to do. Especially since he is out of the country and can't file until he returns. She can file, but it still takes time. It doesn't matter if they agreed not to chase each other anymore. How silly both or everyone is, thinking they can say a few words and poof, life is the way they want it.
You need to get a consultation from a lawyer. If you don't have money, there are free legal aids in most states. Consult a county court house for further advice to find an inexpensive way to get advice. And then follow it. If you still want to marry this jerk later, so be it, but right now your marriage is illegal. You will get nothing from him, so don't look at him as your knight on a white horse. He is a liar, and not loyal to his vows to one wife, and now you. Think about it...what does he offer you but lies and now a legal mess.
Get out, fast. And please, don't get pg by him. He is too young to father a child; his child would be smarter than him.
2007-11-25 16:31:53 · answer #3 · answered by dutchlady 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A seperation is NOT a disillusionment of marriage. The only way you could become his LEGAL wife is if he get's a divorce and marries you. Your current marrige is NOT legal because he is still legally married to someone else. What he has done is against the law (a federal offense) and hell yes his first and ONLY wife for that mater has the right to demand EVERYTHING from him. You have the right to NOTHING, because you're not legally married. He is simply trying to cover his butt because he knows he can wind up with a dishonorable discharge and land his butt in prision. You'd better get a lawyer and FAST before he drags you down with him.
2007-11-25 17:40:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His reenlistment has nothing to do with you being called or his legal wife. If he wanted you on his documentation he would go to DEERS and put you in there, but since he is already married, he can't do that. As far as money is concerned, he can leave his money to you. It is now legal in the military to leave your insurance money to someone other than your spouse. However, they will mail her a letter letting her know that she isn't getting any money. Now his first wife can make him pay all of his BAH which is what he receives for housing, but if she hasn't yet, either A. She doesn't know her entitlements or B. She really doesn't care about him. What you need to do is make sure he gets the divorce. If his unit knows he is married and you are not his legal wife he can get into a lot of trouble. He can loose rank and money. Be careful with this one, he can change his benificiary to you now, if he tells you he has to wait until he reenlist, he is lying.
2007-11-25 16:29:32 · answer #5 · answered by They Don't Like Me! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to file for divorce and get that or she is still his beneficiary in any legal fight between you and her. In the eyes of the law he is guilty of bigamy and she may be able to raise all kinds of problems if she chose including possibly even having him arrested or perhaps having him thrown out of the military for having two wives. Also, he doesn't have to wait to re-enlist to have you listed as beneficiary so you have to worry about whether he is actually sending her an allotment out of his check without telling you since legally you are not married. You need to worry about whether he married someone else as well and whether you can forgive him or if this is a sign you need to get out of that relationship. It sounds like he is pretty much of a guy to avoid, to tell the truth. Good Luck to you!!
2007-11-25 16:30:24 · answer #6 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are married to him, but he has a previous wife that he forgot to divorce before marrying you, he has a mess to deal with. You are going to need a lawyer to get this figured out. The military isn't very nice about family law either. You'd better get it fixed. If you aren't married yet, just have him get legally divorced and then it's no big deal.
2007-11-25 16:26:14 · answer #7 · answered by shana162 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he is still legally married, you can not marry him period. He has to have a legal divorce or his current wife can get a whole lot of money from him because of him being in the military. Get the papers filed immediately before she finds out she is owed a lot of money.
2007-11-25 16:27:11 · answer #8 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In the US at least, "separated" is not single. Unless they've gone through a legal divorce, they are legally married and you are not. If he has supposedly married you, then he is a criminal and could be prosecuted for bigamy. "Separated" (if legally so, not just "moved out") means they are still legally married, but for example, are no longer legally responsible for the others' debts incurred during the period of separation (other than under specific agreement).
2007-11-25 16:27:26 · answer #9 · answered by Katie W 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wake up.
she is his wife. your marriage is not valid. she has the legal right to everything. you don't have any rights.
if he really loved you, he would get a divorce and then marry you (again) to make you his legal wife.
2007-11-25 17:30:40 · answer #10 · answered by YumYumTree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋