wife wants divorce?

Question

wife wants divorce i dont , we also have two boys age 9 and 7 my 9 years old son givers her a hard time every time i bring him back home and she blames me. she tells me i never keep my promises, but i told her this time i mean it i swear first she says she was unhappy for 10 yrs the 6months then now 14yrs been married 10yrs known each other fo 14yrs. is she doing this for payback and does not really want the divorce, is she confused. how can i prove to her i will alwas and forever make her happy in are marriage and will never brake that promise again

Answer 1

You can't and why would you want too? I understand that you have been together for a longtime and have children but some times people are better apart. I am divorced now and i think it was one of the hardest thing I ever had to go in my life but now 5 years later I can't believe how better my life is and how much happier I am. If you have to make promises that you can't keep then why bother,. Think about it nobody is happy all the time and if she counts on you to make her happy then she has problems herself. Its harder on the kids to see you fighting all the time and being ugly to each other then it is for them to adjust to seperate homes.

Answer 2

Dear Diwan, Let me capsulate this : 1) You got married in 2004 2) You separated in the same year 3) You have been living separately in 2004 4) It is 2010 now - 6 years have passed since you both have parted ways My questions to you are: 1) Did your parents never ever care to know how you both are doing – This is a bit too difficult to accept !!! 2) You never insisted on a patch up in the last 6 years – Why? 3) You are keen for a patch up – before your parents turn up – What is so special about having a patch up, before the parents turn up? 4) Are you patching up because you have a personal agenda – that is to be addressed – by or with your parents? I invite you to bring yourself, to introspect and experience the following and speak out from your heart? 1) How and why did you both part ways in the first place? 2) How faithful have you both been to each other in the last 6 years? 3) How faithful would you both be towards your respective parents, when you lead them to believe that everything is fine between the two of you and that nothing happened in the last 6 years? 4) If your wife is insisting for a divorce? Do you think she has a valid reason to do so? 5) Presuming that your wife agrees to patch up – do you want this patch up to merely be a cosmetic one or are you really prepared to accept each other? 6) Are you really committed to accept your wife, without casting doubts on her activities in the last six years? 7) Had this incident happened to a girl - someone very close to you –knowing every detail of what happened bewteen the two of you - whom would you have supported then - the Girl or her Husband Diwan, there is never a problem without a solution. May be, with these guidelines, you could resolve this problem on your own, just in case, you still feel trapped, and need support, feel free to write back to me Ravi

Answer 3

First, making her happy forever and always is impossible. Never seen a marriage yet where that is the case. Secondly, is she delusional or do you really not keep your promises? If its the latter, you need to change that.

Answer 4

If you have cheated repeatedly, then you actually deserve for her to leave. You can not keep abusing a person's feelings and expect them to continue to love you.

If you abused or physically mistreated her, then she is right to leave. You could accidentally kill her. Also, it is not fair for the children to have to be witness to that all of the time. Children imitate what they see. For instance, a female child will allow her bf or husband abuse her, because she thinks that it is normal. a male child will abuse their gf or wife for the same reason.

If it was something of less importance, then you will have to earn her trust back, by being patient, and getting counseling.

Answer 5

I would try to see a therapist on your own. Sometimes talking to someone is very helpful.

I would not bring up marriage counseling ,yet. See if solo counseling works out and then go from there.

Answer 6

You can't make her happy. Happiness is a choice.

Ask her, if she is confused, if she really wants the divorce. Only she has the answer.

Be true to your word. That's all you can do.

Answer 7

tell her you want the divorce. it'll scare her to pieces and make her decide.

Please try not to get the boys involved or if she does, then make sure you do everything in your power to hold back any anger you have toward her and not show it in front of them. They will always remember and reference the divorce later on in life.

Answer 8

what the hell did you do to make her want to divorce you, if she is just being a *****, thank god you left her dumb ***, just enjoy the kids for now if she's going to be a retard from now on

Answer 9

both people have to agree on the same thing otherwise it will never work