help, i have real anger issues?

Question

i am 20, in the Marine Corps, and married with 2 children. I dont know what my problem is. I just cant control my anger and have scared my wife and children with it. Even though I havent hurt anyone physically, i think i have mentally. My wife is threatening to leave me and I dont know what to do. Please, help me with my problem.

Answer 1

Use military counseling services. They will guide you to a solution for this exact issue. This is a fairly common problem in which others have been helped. Stay strong! Simper Fie!

Answer 2

You should see if the Marine Corps offers any counselling or therapy services. I'm not familiar with the benefits package you receive, but I would imagine it's fairly comprehensive and will provide for mental health services.

A professional can help you learn to cope with your anger and channel negative feelings into an appropriate response and also help you understand why you are so angry (which will hopefully enable you to start fixing the problem at the source.)

If your anger issues are putting your whole family at risk, please don't wait on getting help. It sounds like you really do want to fix things - don't wait until it's too late.

Answer 3

Well, I guess the first thing that comes to mind is: Why are you angry? What is it that really sets you off? And, are you able to count to 20 before "letting it rip" and think about whether or not the battle is worth it.

Does it matter if the house is perfect? Does it matter if you take turns dealing with the kids? I mean, these are issues that could be resolved by talking.. and perhaps you and your wife could work out a time where each of you gets your own personal space without interruption each evening. Maybe an hour for each of you to chill out? Create your own space? Find a hobby that relaxes you? Once a week go bowling? Read a book?

I don't know.. but whatever it is you are angry about, it's not worth losing your family over.

Answer 4

You need psychological help. Try counseling or an anger management class. If you find yourself being angry you need to take a time out and go for a walk before you blow. Take time to calm down and dont come back until you are ready to deal with the problems calmly and maturely. It's your choice to be angry about something.
You need to ask yourself, what is it that makes me so angry? Why do I need to be mean and blow up and make everyone miserable with my anger? What does being angry solve? Does it make the situation better or worse? Sometimes you just have to get a grip on yourself and relax and let things slide. Don't sweat the small stuff. Decide to be a real man and don't get angry about things, instead find real solutions to problems and implement them. Think of what you are teaching your children by showing them that it's ok to lash out in anger.

Answer 5

Although she plays up a lot and is a bit of an attention seeker i think the anger issues she has and emotions ashe showed about her hat were real and not to be laughed at. I know if i was in there i would 'lose it' I'm pretty sure we all would to be honest. It can be normal. You are very lucky you must be a very happy person all the time! I think Keeva also makes it worse and if she goes Shabby may be calmer.

Answer 6

I know it might be hard, but maybe seeing an anger management specialist might help. The fact that you aren't violent and that you are aware of the problem is a great bonus. I'd imagine your working life is quite highly stressed, and this could be a partial cause.

It's not uncommon in men and I'm sure you'll be able to solve the issue provided you take the right course of action. Talk to your doctor and they might be able to make some suggestions on what to do.

Answer 7

I think it's great that you at least recognize you have anger issues. That's a wonderful first step. My ex-husband had severe anger problems too, which is why we're not together anymore, so I can certainly understand your wifes feelings on this matter.
While it's ok and healthy to get angry, it's not ok to scare your family. Fear instills more fear, and we, as humans try to get away from the fear.
It's also ok to seek anger management therapy. It's a great option out there and think of all the things you're be saving. Your health, your marriage, your family.
Good Luck to you and yours!!!!

Answer 8

Ok, ignore these assholes who tell you negative crap.

Anger issues are serious and words can and do hurt, sometimes very deeply.

1. First sit your family down and tell them you love them and are going to seek help for your anger issues.

2. Go to your immediate superior or C.O. and tell him about your issues and ask him to help you get some counseling.

3. Go to your counseling sessions faithfully. Be open with your counselor about everything.

4. If you are a drinker.... stop immediately.

5. Read your bible or Religious text and Pray. A little divine guidance couldn't hurt.

6. Ask your wife to attend her own counseling sessions. She may be unwittingly feeding this anger issue with her responses.

7. When you both feel ready... attend family counseling together.

Thank you Marine... I hope you can resolve this.

Answer 9

Talk to your CO and ask for additional sensitivity training along with counseling. A temper is a lousy way to ruin a family. My son was a born Marine. He has had similar "issues" all his life but the Corps made it worse. All the gung ho, semper fi, kick some a** attitude really didn't help his issues. He went to counseling on a weekly basis and got a handle on the anger. He is still a gung ho Marine, but he simply learned to be a Marine at work instead of aggressive at home. He was fortunate to learn to deal before he lost his family. Thank you for serving. Semper Fi

Answer 10

Most of these answers are pretty good... Obviously therapy and everything can help. Just the fact that you recognize your anger is causing problems in your family is a great start.

Can you distinguish WHAT it is that is making you angry? Are there certain things that trigger it? If you can find the things that trigger the anger you can see if you can avoid that type of situation, or find a way to deal with it better.

Remember that YOU are the one that makes the decision with you.. So if YOU are angry YOU choose to be angry. Nobody can make you angry... it is an emotion and you choose to feel that way. Same as no one can MAKE you be happy, sad, depressed... these are all feelings that you choose for yourself.

With that in mind... Kudo's to you for searching for help. I hope you find what you are looking for. Good Luck!

Answer 11

I commend you for coming forward and admitting you have a problem. If I were you I would get some kind of anger management help. They have a lot of places that offer that kind of help. Don't let your temper ruin your marriage more than it already has. It's also affecting your kids and believe me, hot tempers can get you into a lot of trouble. If your wife were to leave you, she can tell the judge or her attorney that you have a bad temper, thus putting you in a TERRIBLE spot with visitation with the kids. So please, get help before it gets worse. At least this way, if she still chooses to leave you, you have proof you are getting help. It's all about Covering Your As.s.