Back in July I thought that my husband was cheating. I am still not sure that he wasn't, but I choose to stick it out and as far as I know there have been no more issues of that type since then. We used to fight all the time and now we rarely even talk and it's like we are in a "holding patteren". Sex is few and far between, but then again that has always been the case. I guess that I just feel like I am living with a roommate and not a spouce. I get along better and talk more to my ex husband more then I do my husband (before you start me and my ex share a child and he is married 4 states away). I haven;t cheated and don't plan to, but I just feel so "BLAH" We have been married 5 years and I can't stand to live another year with someone that I can't talk to.
Also before you start, this has nothing to do with the sex, and I HAVE tried EVERYTHING in the book to put sparks inthat area.
Any tips or advice?
2007-11-25 13:52:36 · 10 answers · asked by Brandi 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know that I have faults but I have tried to address all of those that he claimed to hate. I do not nag, I do not *****, I cook and clean and work and take care of his crap and the kids, and I have no one to take care of me. I never said that I was perfect, no one need private email me with nasty comments.
2007-11-25 13:59:16 · update #1
Have you sat your husband down and just asked him these questions? You can try marriage counseling, or something like that. Maybe plan a night a week where the two of you go out on a date and do something together, just so you have something in common to talk about. Otherwise, maybe its just time to leave and find someone more compatible..
2007-11-25 14:06:09 · answer #1 · answered by crzyldy3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is so easy to get caught up in everything and everyone else and let your marriage get stale. It is hard to live with an indifferent partner, so you are going to have to decide whether or not you want to stay. It seems like you are both in disconnect mode and I'm thinking that just from what you said, that you don't really know if you even love this guy. Ask yourself if you do or not and if it's no... maybe you should leave. If it's yes, then find a way to dedicate the time this relationship is going to need to survive.
2007-11-25 22:08:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he keeps you there to take care of his stuff and the kids. Stop doing that. He can take care of himself. He is doing nothing for you so let him fend for himself. No communication and no sex. You thought that he was cheating and have not ruled that out. What are you still there for? If you can't stand to live another year like that then you have your answer. It could be a long time and I would say that it will not get any better. If you have tried everything and nothing has worked stop beating your head against the wall and do what is best for you and the kids.
2007-11-25 22:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is the problem. If you thought that your husband was cheating, chances are very good that he was. It's hard to feel connected to someone else when you feel betrayed---that's why you feel blahh. You should try to get him to talk to you and at least confirm whether or not he cheated. You two also need to determine what's important in your lives and if you both feel your marriage is worth keeping or not. If you avoid talking about these things, then things will remain the same as they are.
2007-11-25 22:15:16 · answer #4 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When was the last time you and your husband went away together, or even just had a relaxing dinner together?? It's so easy to get caught up with the hassles of everyday life (work, children, school, family, housework, etc.) that sometimes we tend to forget our own needs. You and your husband should consider taking some time out and remember why you fell in love with each other.
Good luck!!
2007-11-25 22:06:31 · answer #5 · answered by Ana V 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"We have been married 5 years and I can't stand to live another year with someone that I can't talk to." --- seems to me you've decided already. All you really need is confirmation of what you want to do. Just a suggestion: think really really hard before you start another relationship. If it's going to end this way again (this is your 2nd break-up) then I do think you're better off alone than married again.
2007-11-25 22:46:42 · answer #6 · answered by anna c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you write like your decent enough wife, so either a) you may be oblivious to what turned him off (sometimes we need outside help to see without bias) and/or b) you married a real winner (a dude who is either not true and/or is low on the IQ of knowing how to be a good hubby.
Sit down and talk to him as other say, Ask him whats wrong.
My guess is you won't get anywhere, but at least you can say YOU tried.
Then I would start preparing and looking at my options and get out when you can AND SUE FOR EVERYTHING like Ivana did.
2007-11-25 22:55:07 · answer #7 · answered by Jack Bent 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel as though there is a huge communication gap here sweety. I am sorry you are going thru this, but I can tell you are strong. I feel you need to spontaneously ask him what he feels about alll this- in a totally different way/approach than you have so far. Alone, away from home- on neutral ground. Ask him how he feels and what he wants, LISTEN. Then tell him your thoughts. Be peaceful. Then go from there.
2007-11-25 22:10:47 · answer #8 · answered by Renesme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that your husband may be having an affair and is emotionally and intimately withdrawing from you......If you have always had infrequent sex....is there a possibility that your husband is gay?
2007-11-25 22:00:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what the heck isnt wrong with your marriage..
am I the only happily married guy or girl on here?
2007-11-25 22:10:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋