Major social anxiety issues (18 yrs old)?

Question

I'm 18 years old and I feel as though people have always looked at me differently, like I don't quite "fit in" with how girls my age are supposed to look. I'm not overweight or ugly by any means, just different-looking, I think. Well, I always feel as though I am being negatively judged whenever I talk with someone, even if it is a friend. It makes me very, very socially awkward, and I really hate it. It doesn't help in the slightest that I'm also quite shy as well. PLEASE help me with this! I already take Prozac, and it does help with my anxiety, but it does not change my thoughts about myself. What can I do? And please don't just say, "Don't worry about what others think." It doesn't seem to help me or make me more confident. I am 18 years old. I should not have to deal with this at this age. It drives me crazy! Help?? I've also already seen a psychologist. Anything else I can do on my OWN to break out of this nasty cycle? Methods? Thank you soooo much in advance! :-)

Answer 1

Hi Nenna... you say you have already seen a psychologist but you don't say if it was one visit or what was discussed or decided. Regardless, one of the things you can do is to keep a journal. At the end of the day, when you are settling down before bed, try writing about any uncomfortable feelings you may have had during the day. When did they occur? With specific people? What did they say beforehand? How did you reply? Did it make sense to you when you said it? What was their reaction? Sometimes we think one thing but find it hard to express so it comes out another way. Every week, go back and read what you've written. Do you see a pattern of some sort?

Yes, being shy does not help, I know that firsthand. I was very shy when I was younger and that in itself was painful. I found myself answering in such short sentences that it hardly made sense to the other person because I couldn't bear to talk long enough to explain thoroughly. So, journaling is one thing to consider.

Do you have someone close to you? A friend or a relative? You could practice talking with them. It's not as silly as it sounds. Try saying a few sentences in a row. Talk about something that you're familiar with so you have the confidence.

Just based on your question and the way you write, it's obvious you are an intelligent girl. Use that strength! I wish you lots of luck, but more than that, I wish you peace of mind, and that will take a little work... and I know you are... repeat... *you are* entirely capable of that! You can do it, honey!

Answer 2

Hi Nenna, haven't heard from you in a while. Keep going to therapy. This has been very helpful to me. If you feel your therapist is not helping then find another one. Not all therapists are good. And even if they are good they may not be a good fit for you.
One very promissing thing I hear from you is that you're very much aware of these feelings. Some people just claim they don't like or are uncomfortable around people and have no clue why.
My guess is that you, like me, come from a family where love has to be earned or is not given at all. Your parents never communicated to you that you were a valuable, lovable human being just for being you, that you didn't have to do anything to earn that love. Instead you were told there was some standard you had to achieve to earn your parents love and you always fell short of the mark. You didn't deserve your mother's/father's love because you were somehow flawed. And now this feeling comes up in your day-to-day interactions with people.
I've been working on this stuff for like 6 years now and I still have more to do. I've learned a lot and am much better now than I used to be. I still haven't been able to bring myself to a long term relationship yet but hope this will change someday. These negative messages given to us by parents are very powerful and difficult to overcome. I'll try to help a little bit by reminding you that you do deserve to be loved, not because of what you do but just because you are who you are.
If you want to do some reading about this you can google Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Reading this stuff was very helpful to me. Keep in mind that no one person has ALL the traits and everyone walking the planet has some of these traits. Most narcissism spring from parents' failure to make a child feel special and loved when it is young. The child then grows into adulthood with this unresolved need to feel special, loved and approved of.
One thing you can do is to find someone you trust, someone you can tell your innermost thoughts and feelings to. You may feel that some stuff inside you is just so ugly that no one could ever accept you if they knew it. And it's very freeing when someone knows the worst thing about you and it's OK. This is one technique used in twelve step programs when people take an inventory(bad things they've done, fears and resentments) and share it with someone. When we bring this stuff into the light it doesn't seem so bad anymore. And we realize we're not special(especially bad in this case), that all that stuff way deep inside us that our parents thought was so bad is really not that different from what others think and feel. But we have to do these things with people who are brave enough to look into their own heart and admitt there's some ugliness there.
This stuff I have just written is pretty direct and powerful so please don't listen to it if you think I'm off about this. But I think there's a reason we connected on-line.
Good luck Nenna and keep asking questions and seeking help. You WILL get through this but it will take time. My heart goes out to you.

Answer 3

I've always been a little over weight. Most people would think I was very self conscious by now, but I'm not. I figured out very urly in life that if I don't see myself as being some one worthy of other people's time then i wouldn't be. Same if I didn't think of my self as at least somewhat pretty then i wouldn't be to anyone else. You have to help yourself believe you are spacial and that there is no reason why no one wouldn't want to b your friend. once you truly believe this then you will have the confidence to go out and
strut yourself and know everyone is saying, 'oh look at that girl, I want to be like her." There is something special in everyone, some havn't found it, it's your job to find that special thing about you and show it off! good luck hope you feel better soon!

Answer 4

If I were you, I would sit down and take inventory. Take an honest look at yourself. What do you like? Maybe you have beautiful eyes, or hair, or a nice complexion. What do you like about your personality? Are you honest, sincere, a good sport? Learn to love yourself. Look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself, "I am special, I am beautiful, There is no one else like me". I truly believe that you have to learn to love yourself the way you are to be happy. We all have flaws, even the most "beautiful" people. If you were to ask them, I am sure there are things they absolutely hate about themselves. A lot of times we are our own worst critic. Don't be afraid to have confidence in yourself. Look around you. Everyone is different. Learn to appreciate the diversity of people and you will start to accept yourself more. Find what you are good at and excel in it! People are not nearly as critical of you as you think. I think people put more emphasis on a good personality than looks. I think a support group could help. Call your local hospital and ask them to recommend someone or ask your doctor. hang around with friends that make you feel good. Avoid negative people. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

hi guy, at the beginning, i be attentive to living with social rigidity could be somewhat hard at circumstances. i could recommend conversing to a ascertain/mom or father approximately seeing a Psychiatrist. (S)he would be waiting that may assist you out, and subscribe you medicine if choose be. i does no longer recommend getting xanax out of your pal, as anyone's dosage is distinctive. yet, on suitable of medicine, a sturdy area of coping with social rigidity is thru conversing, and coming to the perception that that's for the main area irrational, that's the place having a psychiatrist could be particularly effectual.

Answer 6

Enrolled yourself in a theater class or school Theres nothing like theater to beat shyness