My husband's 20 YO daughter moved out last year--she previously had floated back and forth between our house and her moms when she pleased (using her car). She decided that she didn't like adhering to our rules--helping around the house & with her younger siblings and to let us know where she was (so we didn't worry all night). She did not help out unless forced. She lives with her mom now who charges her rent (and who is now demanding more), but whom she helps with the housework. She had a ton of attitude towards me, and I won't allow it in my home. We never asked her for rent, only to help out (non-Cinderella like). She has TWO rooms at her moms, quiet for study, run of the house and whatever she wants to do. Our kids shouldn't have to share a room. I will NOT take my kids out so that she can study at home-that's what libraries are for My hubby thinks I'm being a B****, but he does not see the attitude as he works the nights and weekends-he's not there. Help!
2007-11-25 13:15:45 · 11 answers · asked by Jen-Jen 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes, I know she's his daughter, but we have children too--young ones who depend on us, she's a grown person and personally I feel she made the choice and should live with the decision she made....however I'll always be the awful woman 'who threw her in the street"-at least that's how my husband makes me feel. I honestly believe that she is his favorite and our young ones will always come last.
2007-11-25 13:18:59 · update #1
She has already lived there and left because she did not like it. Why does he think this time is going to be any different. I would not give in to him. You are 100% correct, she is a grown woman and should live with the choices she has made. I would not take my kids out of their own home so she can study either. I would tell him no and stick to it. If he does not like it he can go live with her else where. That is what I would tell him if it came to that. I would not tolerate disrespect from anyone in my own house and you should not have to.
2007-11-25 13:37:32 · answer #1 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband that you will not tolerate his ADULT daughter moving in yet again. This is not a hotel.
He is leaving you holding the bag, so you must stand your ground.
You are the mama, which makes you the ultimate authority in your household. Your new mantra is "If the mama ain't happy, then NOBODY is happy!"
Make sure this daughter does not have keys to the house... if she does, call a locksmith and change the locks.
Offer to help find her a nice little apartment somewhere nearby wherever she works, and put down a deposit on it. She is just not allowed to move in.
You need to get into the habit of documenting any time she hands you any attitude... either put up a network of webcams or carry a small tape recorder in your pocket. Figure something out.
2007-11-25 21:51:52 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with your husband and stand your ground at the same time. Hubby's daughter is old enough to be in her own place. If it is a matter of finances maybe a better option would be that your husband and the daughter's mother help her pay for a small apartment with the understanding that after a certain amount of time those funds are going to stop and she will have to do it on her own. Kind of a weening period.
If she does move in be sure to sit her down before hand and tell her exactly what you expect from her. If she doesn't like it than she can go somewhere else!
2007-11-25 21:24:59 · answer #3 · answered by zoe1594 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a long talk with your husband and tell him how you feel and why you feel the way you do. Don't leave any details out because he has to know the whole story. Tell him that she's an adult and adults stand on their own two feet. I think after you talk with him he'll at least think about it and maybe he'll come over to your side and see the light. I hope so for the sake of you and the younger children.
2007-11-25 21:44:35 · answer #4 · answered by Lady B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't make anyone give up their room or rearrange my life for a twenty year old adult. She will never learn to take care of herself if people keep letting her bounce around when ever she gets her panties in an uproar. It sounds like to me that she wants everything the easy way. I wouldn't make it easy. Kids are suppose to grow up and move out. She needs to be an independent woman and take care of herself. Does she have a full time job? I wouldn't rearrange my house and my life for someone who sounds like she doesn't appreciate anything. She keeps going from house to house causing chaos. I would definitely tell my husband that I didn't want her there. Fine, with me to accept the title of " B@#$%" i wouldn't care. Call me what you want, but I wouldn't let that brat constantly come in and take over my house. I would let your husband read some of these answers, He is married to you not his grown daughter who should be able to take care of her self. His first priority is his wife. I am a step parent myself and if that kid moved to her mom's then that is where her little butt would stay.I'd tell her to deal with it. Girl, don't get me started on step kids. I win all my battles though.
2007-11-25 21:37:11 · answer #5 · answered by Godsgirl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As she is an adult ,she should be old enough to co operate .
If she cannot then she should find a place of her own .
I lived with my auntie and Uncle when I was 17 and I was a typical youth ,however as I was any relation to him he did not like it .So he said you leave or I do .And being a reasonable person I had him run over .
Only kidding I left that weekend ,it looks like your husband is being unreasonable as well and thats where he gets it from ...
If you would like to have revenge sex please get in touch ..
I am in Japan though .
2007-11-25 21:42:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm . . . I suggest mini-recorders and wireless webcams to record this - Daddy needs to get an eyeful and earful of what Darling Daughter is really like to the Evil Stepmother.
If that doesn't convince him, then tell him: "It's her or me - only one of us will live with you."
Then follow through with it. You and your kids do NOT deserve that.
2007-11-25 21:28:08 · answer #7 · answered by Arsan Lupin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is something that may affect your marriage, I wouldn't turn to a bunch of yahoo answerer's. Instead seek professional counseling because I'm sure there's more here than you can possibly describe in one paragraph.
2007-11-25 21:23:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not being at B****.
It's your house.
Remind your husband that she is an adult now.
Search for an alternative method.
For example, if can't he bare having his daughter struggle...Offer to pay for an apartment for 6 mos. until she on her feet...
2007-11-25 21:39:20 · answer #9 · answered by Grace Marie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try honey if she moves in I am moving out.
2007-11-25 21:20:36 · answer #10 · answered by ziggy_brat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋