A Scotsmen and a Jewish man were having a magnificent meal at one of the finest restaurants in New York .At the end of the evening the waiter came over to present the check and a Scottish voice said "that's all right laddie just gae the check to me". The headlines in the local newspaper next day proclaimed "Jewish ventriloquist found beaten to death".
2007-11-25 12:26:11 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
Jock's wife Maggie went to the doctor complaining of pains in the stomach. The doctor told her it was 'just wind'. "Just wind?" she screamed at him. "It was just wind that blew down the Tay Bridge!"
2007-11-25 12:39:34 · update #1
A star for a Star!
2007-11-25 20:49:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats like 'Double glazing is doing great business in Scotland in hope that the children cannot hear the icecream van when it comes round'
Angus called in to see his friend Donald to find he was stripping the wallpaper from the walls. Rather obviously, he remarked "You're decorating, I see." to which Donald replied "Naw. I'm moving house."
At an auction in Glasgow a wealthy American announced that he had lost his wallet containing £10,000 and would give a reward of £100 to the person who found it.
From the back of the hall a Scottish voice shouted, "I'll give £150!"
2007-11-25 12:34:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
1/5
2007-11-25 12:34:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
An old Scots Laird woke up one morning to find that his dear wife had passed away during the night.
He grasped his walking stick and shakily made his way as fast as he could to the top of the stairs - desperately shouting down to the housekeeper below...
Maggie!... Maggie!.... It'll just be ONE boiled egg today
2007-11-25 12:50:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A couple who were married for 35 years were celebrating their 60th birthdays. To mark the occasion, a fairy appeared & granted them each a wish. The wife said, "I'd like to spend 6 months in a hot country." Poof! she was given 2 tickets to Austrailia. Then it was the husband's turn. He said, "I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." Poof! He was 90!
2007-11-25 15:17:23 · answer #5 · answered by shermynewstart 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did the Scotsman see anybody lurking?
2007-11-25 12:39:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is great. I'm still laughing. This gets emailed to my friend for sure.
2007-11-25 12:31:25 · answer #7 · answered by curious connie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love the scottish humor... lol.. another good one Susie!
2007-11-25 15:03:27 · answer #8 · answered by ncgirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it was in the newspaper, it must be true !
2007-11-25 12:29:45 · answer #9 · answered by niceguyswlondon 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Odd, I don't get that paper (guffaw)
2007-11-26 01:19:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋